Boys Will Be Boys
by Iced Blueberry Tea
Summary: SemiAU. Crazy scientists have crazy ideas, and one of them just came true. Kanda and Allen are now- PARENTS? Not just that, but parents to a pair of evilly adorable matchmakers? Yullen & LUCKY. Warning: Kawaii OCs & insane ones. XD
1. The Mystery of The Blood Samples

**Syaoran: **I'm back! This time, however, showcasing my OWN D. Gray-Man fanfic. I've always wanted to do this… ALWAYS! Okay, sorry, I'm feeling a bit too hyper today. But the guys don't know what I'm gonna do to them, MUAHAHA…

**Allen: **We're in this website? AGAIN?

**Lavi: **I don't care, you guys've met this Authoress before but I haven't, so YAY! –reads Syaoran's first-chapter plans with smirk- Shasha-chan, you're pretty evil…

**Syaoran: **Ehh? Where'dja get that?

**Lavi: **Your diary. Thank you for loving me, Allen, Rinali and Yuu-chan! –glomps- But I have no clue why you like Rhode and Tyki.

**Allen&&Rinali: **You like the Noahs?

**Allen: -**scans Syaoran with left eye- Okay, she ain't an Akuma…

**Lavi: **Ah well, all the other Authoresses liked Rhode and Tyki anyway, who are we to complain?

**Rinali: **Guess so. But if only Rhode was taller… it's really uncomfortable bottoming for someone shorter than me in fanfic.

**Syaoran: **AHHH! Sorry Rin-chan, but I'm not really into yuri. Light shoujo ai's fine though!

**Rinali: **Oh, that's okay! I seriously need a break from Rhode. When she wants something… -sighs-

**Allen: **Too much info there, Rinali. Too much.

**Lavi: **So, Shasha-chan doesn't own D. Gray-Man. Sorry kid, but we belong to Hoshino-sama.

**Syaoran: **No worries. I LOVE her. –hearts and sparkles-

* * *

_**Boys Will Be Boys**_

**Chapter 1 – The Mystery of The Blood Samples**

"Allen-kun! Are you awake?"

Allen Walker leapt lightly off from the chair he was using to do his 300 bendings and grabbed his shirt. As he pulled it on, he opened the door.

"Rinali!" he said. The Chinese girl smiled at him apologetically.

"Hi, Allen-kun, have I come at a wrong time?" she questioned.

"No, no, I just finished my bendings," Allen responded.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry, but are you afraid of needles?" Rinali asked, moving to Allen's bed.

The cursed boy sat next to her before replying, "Not really."

"Good. I need your blood sample," Rinali said, waving a syringe in his face.

"Ehh?" Allen blinked. "Why?"

Rinali shrugged. "I wish I knew. Komui nii-san asked me to get your blood sample," she said. "Believe me, I bugged him for nearly an hour last night but he wouldn't say."

Allen screwed up his face. "Hmm…I guess Komui-san wouldn't be doing anything dangerous with a blood sample," he considered.

"I totally agree. Nii-san wouldn't be _that _irresponsible…I think," Rinali said uncertainly.

Both of them sweatdropped anime style as they thought of the Komurins.

"Nope, no way, nii-san can't be making a robot with blood," Rinali shook her head. "So can I have that blood sample?"

"Why not?" Allen said, pulling up his sleeve.

As Rinali approached his arm, she stopped.

"Wow, Allen-kun, you're really sweaty. How can you do your bendings in your shirt?" she asked.

"Ahh, I don't. It's just that you came by, so I had to put it on," was the reply.

"Oh," Rinali said, tilting her head.

'_Hmm, if only I got to see Allen-kun without his shirt…bet he's not as scrawny as Kanda thinks!'_

"Uh, Rinali? The blood sample?" Allen waved his hand in front of her face.

"Oh yeah! Sorry," Rinali laughed nervously and briskly did what she came for.

"Thanks, Allen-kun!" she said as she pocketed the blood sample.

"N-no problem…" Allen said. He was feeling a little light-headed.

"I suggest you lie down for a while. If you go down to breakfast now, for you, you might suffer some kind of, er, side-effect," Rinali said helpfully.

"Okaay…" Allen nodded, falling back on his bed limply. Rinali smiled at him and left the room.

'_This feels…nice…' _Allen thought hazily, closing his greyish-silver eyes.

In his room, Kanda Yuu was doing something he'd just recently taken up; hanging upside down from a rod attached to the ceiling. It was pretty stretching for the muscles, but we know Kanda, he only thinks it's relaxing. He was just doing that in peace and quiet when a knocking interrupted the silence.

"Who the hell are you?" he barked at the door.

"It's me," a female voice said impatiently.

Kanda rolled his eyes. He already knew no good would come out of this so-called visit. "It's not locked, just come in already."

Rinali entered the room. Kanda knew her better than Allen did, so he raised an eyebrow at the surprised expression on her face. She wasn't usually fazed by topless guys.

"You, I get to see. Allen-kun, no. What's wrong with fate?" Rinali muttered.

"Do me a favour, Rinali. Shut up," Kanda said. Listening to her pointless chatter was already giving him a headache. Or maybe the blood was going to his head…?

"Not till I have what I came for," Rinali said.

Kanda sighed. "Rinali, I've told you a zillion times, I'm not the only damn person in this entire place who's got hair ties. Go ask Miranda or—"

"I don't want hair ties! I just bought myself some!" Rinali snapped. "I want your blood sample."

"What?" Kanda yelled. In one quick movement, he was off the rod and on his feet.

"Yeah, your blood sample," Rinali repeated.

Kanda stared at her. "No way."

"Why not?" Rinali asked. Very slowly, unnoticeable by Kanda, she slipped her hand into her pocket.

"Your deluded brother wants it, doesn't he? I ain't giving my blood to him to make another stupid Komurin," the samurai Exorcist said.

"For God's sake, Kanda, who can make a robot with _blood_?" the Chinese girl said, exasperated.

"As if that damned Komui doesn't think so—" Kanda began, but a split second later Rinali was gone. Before Kanda's samurai instincts could detect where she disappeared to, she landed lightly on his back and slapped whatever she was holding over his nose and mouth.

'_Shit! Chloroform…damn you, Rinali…' _he cursed silently.

The last thing he heard was Rinali saying bossily, "Oh, FYI, Kanda? Miranda uses hair_nets_, not hair ties, why do you think I always ask you? Only you're such a freak about your hair ties…"

Then all was black…

Allen paced back and forth, apparently aimlessly. Well, not exactly aim_less_ly, but anyone who saw him would definitely think so.

The thing is, Allen was lost. Again.

He always got lost, of course, but of late, he'd been lost just somewhere around Kanda's corridor.

Why, he didn't know. But he never really realized he was in Kanda's corridor because ALL the corridors looked the same.

To poor Allen, that is.

As he walked, the door opened, and there stood Kanda.

"What're _you _doing here again, Moyashi?" he said.

"I…" Allen stammered. He could NOT say he was lost. Not again.

"I'm on my way to the cafeteria," he finished stiffly, beginning to walk down the corridor.

Kanda took hold of his arm impatiently. "Which, _if _I'm not wrong, in the opposide direction you're going," he said.

Allen blinked, his face slowly turning pink. "Um…is it?"

Kanda sighed, looking away from that blushing face. There was something lethally disarming about that blush.

"Pay attention, Moyashi," he said, and began to stride off, still holding Allen's arm.

Allen stared up at Kanda's side profile as they walked. Was this really the guy who'd said crudely, "As if I'd shake hands with a cursed person" when they first met?

'_Maybe he's running a fever.'_

Allen glanced down at the hand holding his arm. Didn't feel that hot.

They reached the cafeteria. Lavi and Rinali almost choked on their coffee when they saw Kanda and Allen. Well, Rinali almost; Lavi's coffee waterfall narrowly missed a poor Finder's face.

"Whoa, way to come out of the closet, Yuu-chan," Lavi whistled.

Kanda glanced down. He stared at Allen's arm in his hand for a full five seconds before hurriedly dropping it like a piece of white-hot metal and strode off towards Jeryy.

"Yeah, Rinali, I think you _did _take too much blood from him," Lavi commented to Rinali.

"Huh? But I took the same amount from Allen-kun and he looks fine ta me," Rinali considered, staring at Allen and turning to look at Kanda.

"You took HIS blood sample too? Now I really am nervous," Allen said, sitting down.

"It doesn't concern me, but me too," the Chinese girl replied with concern. "Komui nii-san's been seriously OOC lately. He and the other scientists too."

"Maybe they're just testing for AIDS," Lavi remarked idly.

Two fists punched him right in the noggin.

"Oww! What was that for? Itai…"

"Lavi! How could you?" Rinali spluttered.

"Do I LOOK like I'd go sleeping around like some two-bit whore?" Allen hissed.

"Hehehe…it was just a joke, don't take it so seriously," Lavi grinned, ruffling Allen's hair affectionately.

"Your sense of humour's sometimes a bit warped," Allen said.

"I know!" Lavi said, winking; at least maybe that was what he meant to do, seeing that there was only one eye visible anyway. "Besides, you're too young, you're younger than Rinali, for goodness' sake. Even if you do have a cute face."

"I'm not cute," Allen pouted. Lavi smirked while Rinali's eyes turned into heart sparkles.

"You're definitely cute, Allen-kun," the Chinese said fondly. "Too cute, in fact. But you're the youngest in the Order, you should be."

"But you're cute too, Rinali," Allens aid. "You're the youngest girl in the Order, right?"

"Unfortunately," Rinali pulled a face. "There're too many guys around me."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Lavi asked. "You have many brothers to look out for little Rinali."

"One brother is plenty, thanks, and I want to get away from _him,_" Rinali shuddered.

Lavi and Allen sighed in agreement.

Now they were back on the mystery of the use of the blood samples.

"Come to think of it, where _is _Komui, anyways?" Lavi said. "He and Reever and the other scientists all disappeared."

"I guess they're working on the blood samples, but what for?" Rinali mused.

"If the scientists are helping, it can't be another Komurin. They hate the Komurins," Allen added.

"You're right. So if it ain't a Komurin and it needs blood…" Lavi said slowly.

"Zombie?" All three said, blinking.

"Baka," a voice scoffed. It was Kanda.

"Well, for all you know, it _could _be a zombie," Lavi said. "Something like a Komui-stein, maybe."

"What does the Order need a zombie for? We already have six of them," Kanda remarked cuttingly.

"Well, maybe _that's _why. They hate the mountain of work they hafta do," Rinali said.

"My precious blood is used to become those idiots' _servant? _Your brother's definitely got himself a date with Mugen," Kanda snapped.

Rinali sighed. "Good luck nii-san," she said wryly.

'_But seriously, nii-san…what are you doing with the blood samples?'_

* * *

**Syaoran: **Good, good! So far so good!

**Allen: **Jeez, I'm clueless. Miss Syaoran, what the HELL are you making us do? The other Authoresses told us…some didn't though, but they weren't _that _mean…

**Syaoran: **You'll just have to wait and see. Only I know the plan.

**Lavi: **And me, don't forget!

**Syaoran: **Oh, yeah. Dang you, Lavi. You should be thanking your lucky stars that I love you and almost worship you.


	2. Mystery Solved

**Lavi: **Nuh-uh! I ain't telling ya!

**Syaoran: **What in the name of blazes is going on?

**Allen: **I'm trying to threaten Lavi into telling me the story plans. DUH!

**Syaoran: **Lavi isn't an easy person to wheedle info out of, Allen-kun.

**Lavi: **HAH! In your face, Moyashi! –does victory dance-

**Syaoran: **Ah, not so fast. Because you know my plans, Lavi, I changed them and they're only inside my head. So there!

**Lavi: **…Dang.

**Rinali: **-sighs- They're such kids. Syaoran-kun doesn't own D. Gray-Man, but she very very much wishes she does. –holds up one of Syaoran's many nonsensical notebooks- These pages speak for themselves. Poor pages, the vandalism is appalling.

**Lavi: **By the way, R&Rers, all because of the mention of zombies, you think that the results _are _zombies? Nuh-uh… -smirks-

**Syaoran: **Lavi! SHH!

* * *

_**Boys Will Be Boys**_

**Chapter 2 - Mystery Solved**

Rinali pushed the door of the library open and entered. She had a weird sense of déjà vu.

Yesterday, Komui had asked her to do the same thing; to meet him in the library. Except this time, he said to meet him after breakfast. And he even did the same thing—he hurriedly grabbed a tray of coffee mugs and flew back where he came from like his life depended on it.

'_It's the blood samples.'_

Rinali stepped between the countless bookshelves and finally caught sight of her brother, carrying a huge pile of papers. He looked frenzied.

"Ah, Rinali-chan," he said. "I'm sorry to bother you again, but could you help dear nii-san?"

"Of course, nii-san," Rinali responded. "Shoot."

Komui rummaged through the pile of papers he was carrying and finally produced a single piece. He handed it to Rinali.

"There you go," he said. "Hurry along now, I need the answers quickly. Thank you, sweet Rinali-chan!"

"No problem," Rinali said, turning and heading back towards the door, scanning the paper.

She paused, blinking down at the black type. "Ehh?"

Slowly, she pivoted on her heel to face Komui. "Nii-san, this doesn't make any sen—"

Rinali stopped. There was no one in front of her.

"Nii-san?" she called.

No response.

Rinali blinked, looking around suspiciously. How did her brother disappear so fast?

Shrugging, the pretty Chinese girl turned yet again and walked out of the library. It was just like yesterday.

**x x x**

Allen blinked. "My _what_?"

Rinali jabbed at her paper in frustration. "That's what it says. 'Allen's favourite names, one male and one female'," she quoted.

"That makes no sense," Allen replied, tilting his head.

"It's not that it makes no sense, other than the fact that they're supposed to be related, the blood samples and favourite names have no link whatsoever," Lavi said knowledgeably.

"You said Kanda already told you?" Allen asked Rinali, peering at the paper. "What're his favourite names?"

"Yuukan for male, Hana for female," Rinali answered. "He was pretty quick at answering, actually."

"Hana's his mother's name," Lavi mused. "Poor woman passed away when Yuu-chan was only about… I don't know, eight? Nine?"

"How do you know?" Allen and Rinali asked, raising their eyebrows at him.

"There're lotsa things I know," was the cryptically smug reply. "Seems to me that Yuu-chan was named as such because of the word 'yuukan', which means 'brave' in Japanese."

"Yuukan, huh?" Allen repeated slowly. "Interesting name. Then again, all Japanese names are pretty interesting."

"Yet ridiculously complicated," Rinali remarked bluntly. "Only names like Kanda's first name are simple enough."

"Enough about Yuu-chan's favourite names—if Allen doesn't give his, we won't get any more clues to solve the Blood Samples Mystery," Lavi said.

"I don't really have favourites," Allen said. "I'll just pick simple names. Let's see, Andy… and, er— Lily."

"Andy and Lily," Rinali repeated, writing them down. "Sure are simple. But nice to hear."

"But seriously, what does favourite names have to do with blood samples?" Allen asked.

Rinali and Lavi shrugged.

"Komui and the scientists really are smart at causing suspense," Lavi grumbled.

"And so far we haven't even gotten on their trail yet," Rinali agreed, looking annoyed.

"Let's just put the zombies idea as a possibility," Lavi said. "Anything's possible now that we've got these two bizarre clues."

"Zombies, eh?" Allen murmured. Then he was struck with a very weird idea. "Don't tell me they're trying to create some kind of new Akuma prototype so that we can train?"

"Nah. I don't think Akuma require blood," Rinali shook her head. "They're _weapons_, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"Clones? Remember, Dolly the sheep," Lavi suddenly said.

Allen and Rinali blinked at him, question marks dancing around their heads.

"Arghh, don't you guys read the newspapers?"

The other two laughed.

"Sorry, Lav. But that's another possibility, too," Rinali agreed. "Clones… maybe supported by Innocence."

"Innocence-compatible clones?" Allen said.

"These are just ideas," Lavi reminded.

"Okay. So that's another idea to the list," Allen nodded. "Anything else?"

They continued discussing among themselves, blissfully unaware that the 'Innocence-compatible clones' part was _almost _correct.

Almost.

_**xX One month later… Xx**_

It had been a month. A very long month.

Thirty frustrating days of fruitlessly trying to solve Komui and the scientists' mystery. Ever since the day Komui had requested for Allen and Kanda's favourite names, he'd not been asking any more questions and instead, apparently disappeared completely.

The Exorcist four knew this because they had to find out their missions not from Komui anymore, but on a noticeboard in the cafeteria.

No one knew where the scientists were. Not even Number Sixty-Five was anywhere within sight around the Order.

And there were no Komurins, of course. That, everyone else was grateful for.

Slowly, the three 'enthusiastic' teenagers so keen to unravel the mystery had to throw in the towel. They really couldn't solve it.

Until one night.

**x x x**

That night was just another ordinary night. Rinali and Lavi had already wished him good night and left for their own rooms, and now all Allen wanted to do was to hit the sack and not open his eyes till morning.

He thought he would be able to, too.

But he had a dream.

_He was staring at his younger self, just a child, sobbing over the dead body of his beloved stepfather Mana Walker. He stared at little Allen Walker as the boy cried as if he could not stop, repeated Mana's name to no avail._

_The coldness that had grown in his heart began spreading, very, very slowly._

_Suddenly, he and the younger Allen Walker were no longer in the house, but in a grave. The surroundings were hazy and illuminated in the evening crimson sun that made the grey sky glow blood-red._

_He looked at the name engraved on the tombstone. 'MANA WALKER'_

_The coldness spread._

_The younger Allen Walker just stared at it with him, but with tears falling down his cheeks._

_So this was a flashback._

_Alas. Not likely._

_All of a sudden, they were no longer in the grave, either. They were in pure black darkness, a surreal glow illuminating from the younger Allen Walker. Allen stared deep into those sorrowful eyes he'd possessed in the past and still had a shadow of._

"_Where's Papa? Where's Mama…?" the younger Allen Walker whispered._

'What are you talking about? There was only Mana,' _Allen thought._

_Yet, the boy continued wailing the words in despair, and also began to sob. "Where's Papa…where's Mama…"_

"_What…?" Allen tried to say, but his voice choked._

"_Papa… Mama…" the younger Allen Walker said._

At three in the morning, when everyone else was still asleep, Allen's grey eyes shot open as if he'd been electrocuted.

Allen sat up straight, breathing hard. He could've sworn he heard the voice. But wasn't it just a dream?

"Someone needs me," he whispered blankly to himself.

Why he'd said that, and how he knew, he would never ever know. But all he knew was that someone needed him, and that voice wasn't simply just a dream.

Almost blindly, Allen slipped out of bed, out of his bedroom door and began walking very quickly. He didn't know where he was going and why. He just walked. His movements knew something he didn't.

Eventually, he found himself in the library.

'_What am I doing here?'_

But his feet took him to a bookshelf against the wall. His hands fumbled as they began pulling countless books off the shelves, in search of something.

Finally, when Allen pulled a large black tome from the shelf, the entire bookshelf smoothly slid to the side. Allen stared in shock.

When the bookshelf had stopped moving, Allen could see a long passageway, lit by electric lights. He entered it without hesitation.

'_He needs me. Now.'_

Allen's steps quickened and he broke into a run. It was never-ending, the passageway. Further and further he went, faster and faster…

And he finally reached a steel door.

Allen touched it gingerly. It was locked in such a way that he, with his bare hands, couldn't undo it.

Allen scowled.

"Innocence, activate!" he declared, and his Anti-Akuma claw effortlessly blasted the steel door with one single ray shot.

Allen stepped over the burnt metal into a dark room that enabled him to see nothing. Even though he was wary, he allowed his arm to resume its normal form. He allowed his feet to take him forward.

Wait. What was that?

"Papa… Mama…"

Allen's breath hitched. It wasn't a dream, and neither was he hallucinating.

There was someone crying softly somewhere.

He moved forward and slowly lifted his hand. Another steel door.

This time, it was somehow unlocked.

Allen took a deep breath, and pushed it open. And he entered.

"Hello?" he said warily.

The crying abruptly stopped.

Allen looked around, mentally cursing the darkness. Who was here?

"Shh."

The cursed teen blinked, involuntarily taking a step back.

"Who are you?" A sharp voice asked. Allen blinked again. The voice sounded amazingly familiar. Where did he hear it?

It was sharp, cold and had a hint of heartlessness in it. Yet…

It belonged to a _child._

"Who are you?" the voice repeated fiercely. "Say something, or I'll attack! I don't care whoever you are!"

Allen decided to take a risk. "I'm Allen Walker," he said clearly.

There was silence.

"It's _him_," a different voice said, sounding hushed and awestruck.

Allen was really shocked now. It was _his _voice.

His voice when he was a child.

"Andy, shut up. You can't take risks," the sharp voice snapped.

_Andy?_

"Kan-chan, he said so himself. He's Allen Walker," the Allen-soundalike insisted.

"Then why did he come here only now?" the sharp voice demanded. "Why didn't he come earlier?"

"How would I know? I can tell it's him, I don't care what you say!"

"Che," the sharp voice scoffed.

'_Okay. It's definitely _his _voice. His child voice, I think. Is it?' _Allen thought.

"Are you really Allen Walker?" the Allen-soundalike said loudly, clearly directing the question to the cursed teen.

"Yes, I am," Allen responded. "I don't exactly like to lie about my identity. Who are you?"

Another silence.

Then suddenly, something pounced on Allen.

But whoever, whatever it was, it wasn't attacking.

It was… _glomping_?

"It's you! It's really you!" the Allen-soundalike squealed.

"It's me?" Allen squeaked, a bit out of breath by the surprising strength of something, or rather somebody, apparently so small.

"Yes! You finally came! I thought you weren't ever coming! You and Papa!" the soundalike babbled excitedly.

"Me and WHO?" Allen shrieked.

Suddenly, the place was flooded with light. Allen winced, automatically closing his eyes. When he was able to see without his eyes watering, he looked down.

And his jaw dropped.

Glomping him tightly was a five-year-old version of him, with grey eyes, curse mark and mismatched arms. But the boy's hair was, instead of silvery-white, pure midnight black.

Allen glanced across the small room and saw another five-year-old boy. He had long hair done in a high ponytail, dark eyes, a pale complexion and a perpetual scowl on his somehow delicate features. But _his _hair was the one that was silver.

A silver-haired Kanda.

Allen was dumbstruck.

* * *

**Allen&&Kanda: **…

**Lavi&&Rinali: **KAWAII!

**Syaoran: **Yay! Mystery solved! I _helped _you guys on this, ya know.

**Lavi&&Rinali: **Thank you thank you thank you!


	3. The Matter of Responsibility

**Allen: **Where's Miss Syaoran?

**Lavi: **Ooh, Shasha-chan? Locked up in her room.

**Allen&&Rinali: **Why?

**Kanda: **WHY DID SHE LOCK THE DAMN DOOR?

**Lavi: **That's why. –turns to Kanda- BTW, Yuu-chan, you're not supposed to know about the chibis until Shasha-chan writes the chapter.

**Kanda: **I DON'T CARE! I come back from training and what's waiting for me? THOSE TWINS! –activates Innocence-

**Syaoran: **-from inside room- NO POINT USING MUGEN, KANDA! MY DOOR IS MAGICALLY INNOCENCE-PROOF! FACE RESPONSIBILITY LIKE THE SHE-MALE YOU ARE! –laughs maniacally- I've been waiting to say that for like _forever_.

**Kanda: **OPEN UP!

**Lavi: **-sighs- Ne, Shasha-chan! I saw an interesting question in your reviews page! You're going to answer it, right?

**Syaoran: **Eh? Oh. Yeah, I'm going to! I love the R&&Rers! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH, BLESS YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! –hearts && sparkles, abruptly stops- KANDA, MY DOOR MAY BE MAGIC BUT IT'S NOT A SELF-HEALER! –turns to pet muse- JAMIE, GET OUT THERE!

**Kanda: **Oh shit. –prepares sword- Alright, bring it on, mutt! I ain't afraid of ya!

**Allen: **This is why Miss Syaoran doesn't own D. Gray-Man.

_**Warning**_**: OOCness. **

* * *

_**Boys Will Be Boys**_

**Chapter 3 – The Matter of Responsibility**

Allen stared. For a very long time.

Until someone came hurrying towards him.

"Ah, mou, Allen-kun! You weren't supposed to see the twins till next week!" Komui whined.

"K-Komui-san…" Allen stammered. "You- I haven't seen you in weeks! Where've you been?"

"Here!" Komui said, gesturing towards the room outside the smaller one in which Allen and the boys were in. "The scientists and I have been here to run the tests for Andy-chan and Kan-chan."

"A-Andy-chan? Kan-chan? Komui-san! What's going on?" Allen cried.

Komui smiled sheepishly. "Say hi to the results of your and Kanda's blood samples," he said.

Allen slowly looked back at the twins. They gazed at him with huge, curious eyes, one pair innocent, the other a little wary.

"This is Andy-chan," Komui said, pointing to the dark-haired Allen chibi clinging on to Allen's pant leg, "and over there's Yuukan-chan. Don't worry about him, he's not _exactly _like Kanda, he's got your blood too. Same with Andy-chan. Adorable, no?"

"Er." Allen was at a loss for words.

"Mama, why didn't you come earlier?" Andy whined. "I wanted to see you so _bad_."

"Mama?" Allen squeaked. Andy nodded slowly, his eyes becoming slightly suspicious. It was then the cursed teen realized the meaning of Komui's words; the look in Andy's eyes had suddenly become Kanda-ish.

Komui had apparently noticed; he quickly cut in. "Andy-chan, let go of your mother, I need to talk to… him," he smirked. "He's still kind of confused."

Andy reluctantly let go of Allen's pant leg. Yuukan moved forward and took hold of his brother's arm in a sternly protective manner, his dark eyes locked on Allen the entire time. Allen didn't like his look. It was far too similar to his father's.

Wait. His _father's_?

'_Kanda isn't his _father! _It's just a technical term, dammit!'_

Komui pulled him aside while the twins began talking amongst themselves.

"Komui-san, I don't understand, you used my blood sample for creating _children? _Why? How? And why mine and Kanda's? What for?" Allen babbled.

"Shh, calm down, Allen-kun," Komui said patiently.

Allen took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Okay. It's like this," Komui said. "The scientists and I had this impossible idea that we could create Innocence-compatible children using just blood. It was crazy, but we decided to try. And the reason why we took your and Kanda's blood is because currently you two have the best compatibility with your Innocence. We need 'strong' blood, if you know what I mean. Hevlaska helped us with the Innocence part."

Allen tried to digest everything as calmly as possible. "…oh," he said slowly. "So, the plan was a success?"

Komui pulled a face. "Not… exactly," he said. "It was perfect, but almost. See, the oldest humans we could create was five years old. And they're not alive the way we are, you know."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"They aren't natural-born kids, right? That means they don't really have souls. Their main source of life is their Innocence."

Allen stared. "So what happens if their Innocence is… say, taken away from them?"

"They die," Komui responded simply. "But they won't turn into ash or anything. They'll just be 'inactive', so to speak, until they're given Innocence again. They're quite immortal, come to think of it. You can hurt them and they just heal. Not immediately, of course, but a good deal faster than the rest of us do."

"You've tried hurting them?" Allen hissed, horrified.

"No! Of course not, I'm not that cruel to children!" Komui looked shocked. "You know kids— little devils, they are. Reason why they're locked up here is because they keep meddling with the sharp objects and acids. I'd like it if they could spend a minute without their body parts on fire or something!"

Allen sweatdropped. '_Okay, that's definitely not either me or Kanda.'_

"So I can't let them go anywhere until we run all the tests to see if they truly are 100 percent complete, human and safe," Komui continued. Then he grinned. "But if they are out, you and Kanda need to take responsibility."

"W-what?"

"Yes! You're their mother, and Kanda is their father, technically. Even the birth certificates I issued for them state so."

Allen bit his lip. "Why must I be their _mother_?" he asked, frowning. "Isn't Kanda more… eh, feminine?"

"If you call that feminine, I think real males must be barbarians," Komui said darkly. "Besides, Allen-kun, you're fifteen and Kanda's eighteen. No one would really fancy older-women relationships around here— not that I'm calling you female, sorry. But even if Kanda has… womanly features, he's still more masculine if you compare."

Allen pouted.

"You see? And almost all the scientists thought Andy-chan was female, he was so cute," Komui beamed, looking like he's resisting the urge to pinch Allen's cheeks.

Allen sighed and turned to look at the boys again. Somehow or other, Andy had convinced Yuukan to let him play with his silky silver hair. Now Andy was braiding it.

"Well, now that I'm awake, might as well run the tests," Komui said, loudly enough for the twins to hear. "It's so cruel to keep the twins here for one more week."

Allen nodded dumbly.

"Mama, you aren't leaving, are you?" Andy suddenly demanded, looking up from Yuukan's braid.

Allen stared at him. Then he smiled. "No, I'll stay."

Kanda was asleep, but he had the weirdest feeling he was being watched when he felt himself slip in consciousness. (_Syaoran: You know, just before you wake up, you feel as if your mind's coming back from whatever dream or wherever it was. Just FYI._) Very slowly, he opened his eyes.

And sure enough, two pairs of eyes were staring right back at him.

With a start, he sat bolt upright in shock.

"Wha— what— you…" Kanda gaped.

Two young boys, no more than six years old, were leaning on his bed. They looked just like… him and that Moyashi. Kanda's blood ran cold.

"Yeah, Papa seriously does look like you," the dark-haired Allen chibi commented to his companion, who tilted his head curiously as he observed Kanda.

"I don't gasp like that, though, do I?" the silver-haired Kanda chibi replied a little worriedly.

"Nah," Allen-chibi shook his head, grinning.

Something inside Kanda snapped.

"What the he—"

"NO. NO FOUL LANGUAGE."

Kanda blinked. He looked at the doorway and saw Allen standing there.

"Moyashi?" he said, frowning. He ignored Allen's outburst. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Hell?" the twins murmured together in awe.

Allen smacked his forehead. "Dear Lord in heaven."

Impatiently, he strode into the room and kneeled down so that he was level with the twins. "Boys, don't ever say that word like that. It's wrong," he said gently.

"But if Papa says it, why can't we?" the silver-haired Kanda asked, puzzled.

"I'll hit him for that later," Allen responded darkly.

Kanda just stared. "Uh, Moyashi? I'm catching nothing here."

Allen's expression turned pained. "Oh God, give me strength," he muttered. Then he said hesitantly, "This is Yuukan and this is Andy. They're— the results of the blood samples Komui-san took from us."

The samurai Exorcist's face was slowly draining of blood.

"You're kidding," he said simply.

Allen blinked. "I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm _not_."

"How can you not be kidding?"

"Why else would the twins look like us? Open your eyes wide, Kanda!"

Kanda got off his bed, a vein popping in his temple. "This is crazy!" he yelled. "Komui created _kids_? Kids out of blood that he took from us without even telling us what for? Kids that call me _Papa_?"

"You know, I don't want to make it worse, but they call me Mama," Allen replied sarcastically.

"Oh great!" Kanda said in horror. "Better, still! Now these two think we're their _parents_? We're MALES!"

"Like I haven't checked," Allen sighed.

His eyes widened. So did Kanda's.

"I-I didn't mean it that way! Don't look at me like that!"

"You'd better not," Kanda said warningly, giving Allen the evil eye.

The silver-haired Exorcist blushed.

"Will you stop that? It's distracting."

"Stop what? I'm not doing anything."

"Blushing."

Allen blinked. "My blushing _distracts _you?"

"It's so red! You've got a blushing overload problem!" Kanda burst out.

"Well I can't help it!" Allen replied, cheeks flushing even more red.

"Whatever!" Kanda snapped, averting his eyes from those tomato cheeks. "This is the bottom line, Moyashi. I'm not becoming these twins' father. If you want to be their mom, it's fine by me, 'cuz I'm pretty goddamned sure it's got nothing to do with me—"

"LANGUAGE! They're only FIVE, you JERKFACE!"

"Now who's the one using language?" Kanda sneered.

Allen blinked, then gave Kanda a dirty look. The samurai Exorcist ignored it.

"You got me? I'm not going to take responsibility. I didn't ask for these kids, and I'm not going to want them now either," he said, beginning to stride out of the room.

Yuukan and Andy stared. So did Allen.

"Man, if you ever get a girl pregnant, she's gonna take that Mugen of yours and stick it up your ass," Allen muttered to himself.

"Mama, why does Papa call you Moyashi?" Andy asked curiously.

"A-ah, it means, er… p-pretty?"

"Oh. Cool," the twins said together.

Silence.

"Then what's goddamned, jerkface and ass?"

'_Kanda, I will _KILL _you!'_

* * *

**Syaoran: **Muahaha! I loved this chapter!

**Kanda: -**panting and gasping from fighting Jamie- WELL I DIDN'T! –strikes- You friggin' pile of drool! Take THAT!

**Syaoran: **MY BELOVED JAMIE DOESN'T DROOL!

**Allen: **It's a wonder to me that Miss Syaoran actually adores Kanda.

**Lavi&&Rinali: **Y-yeah…


	4. Evil Uncle Lavi!

**Syaoran: **You're letting me come out safe and without killing me? God, you _must_ be in a merciful mood.

**Kanda: **…Shut up. You're an Authoress, I can't kill you because you have… the Power of an Authoress. Or whatever it's supposed to be called.

**Lavi: **It's called _writing_, Yuu-chan. Say it with me, dude; W-R-I-T-I-N-G.

**Kanda: **I'm not a damn retard! –sulks-

**Rinali: **-wonders- Imagine a world whereby Syaoran-kun owns D. Gray-Man.

-Everyone imagines, the bishies' eyes glaze over-

**Lavi: **I'm officially debauched for life. Thank you so very much, dearest Rinali.

**Rinali: **It's not so bad, at least Tyki lets you _leave _the bedroom.

-bishies sweatdrop-

**Kanda: **Syaoran does not own D. Gray-Man and if she does, it shall be the end of the world. At least for me. Those twins will be the death of me one day. -glares-

**Syaoran: **BTW, thank you, Tuli-Susi, for Lavi's reaction idea! (x

* * *

_**Boys Will Be Boys**_

**Chapter 4 – Evil Uncle Lavi!**

"Can we go first, can we can we can we?" the twins whined to Allen as they walked towards the cafeteria.

"Yes, okay, but do NOT go and jump onto your… ugh, Papa. I'm not sure how far his cruelty goes but he might just use Mugen," Allen warned.

"Che, I ain't afraid of his Mugen, I have one just like it," Yuukan responded cockily, patting the sheath holding the mini katana strapped to his hip.

"_That's a katana?_"

Giggling, the twins dashed forward first. Allen just stood, completely stunned. No wonder Komui said that little kids were devils. Yuukan could've probably killed himself by then if he wasn't 'powered' by Innocence.

Allen began to walk forward, but he stopped again when he heard two very familiar voices squealing, "KYAAAA! KAWAII!"

Allen bit his lip and quickly ran into the cafeteria. His fears were confirmed; Lavi and Rinali were glomping the twins so tightly the poor boys' faces were completely drained of blood.

"AIR… I NEED AIR!" Andy yelled finally, after managing to take a few breaths. Yuukan had almost passed out.

"Sorry, sorry…" Rinali said apologetically, letting go of them. "But you are so CUTE! I wanna pinch your cheeks and hug you even harder!"

"Please don't," Yuukan croaked. "I don't wanna die so fast."

"Me neither," his twin groaned.

"ALLEN-KUN! Where did they come from? They're so ADORABLE!" Lavi squealed. Allen sweatdropped—he had seriously never seen Lavi so fangirlish before, otherwise he wouldn't have called him "Allen-kun". And the twins were only kids even if they _were _cute.

"Well, these are the results of the blood samples," Allen said slowly. "The twins are the answer to the mystery."

Lavi and Rinali stared at him. Then—

"KYAAAAAAAAA!"

**x x x**

"Okay, so you are Uncle Lavi, and you're Auntie Rinali," Andy said, pointing first at the redhead Bookman-to-be and then the Chinese girl.

"Correct!" Lavi nodded.

"But eh, it feels so weird for you to call me Auntie, I'm only sixteen— it makes me feel like sixty," Rinali sweatdropped.

"Auntie Rinali!" Yuukan suddenly yelled, his face lighting up.

"W-what?" Rinali shrank back slightly at the strength of the small boy's voice.

"You're _moyashi_!" Yuukan added proudly.

Pure silence.

Lavi, Rinali and Allen stared at him with their jaws on the ground.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

Lavi rolled on the floor with laughter, tears spilling out of his single green eye. Rinali's face slowly flushed deep red and she turns to face Allen with a wide, wide smile.

"Allen-kun, ahaha. WHY DID KAN-CHAN CALL ME MOYASHI?"

"Wait, what? Did I say something wrong?" Yuukan cut in, tilting his head in puzzlement. "Andy, didn't I say it correctly?"

"Yeah, it's moyashi," Andy nodded. "Auntie Rinali is moyashi!"

Rinali's eyes bore into Allen's. "WELL?"

"Um," Allen chuckled nervously. "I _might _have told the twins that it meant… pretty?"

Rinali's eyes widened to the size of wheels.

"Oh God, Allen-kun, _why_?" Rinali cried. "You shouldn't lie to children! They're so innocent! Look, now they'll call me moyashi forever thinking that it means pretty! And heaven help them if they call a female stranger moyashi!"

"Rinali, take a chill pill! I can explain!" Allen said hurriedly. "Kanda calls me Moyashi. I don't want the twins to think that their so-called 'parents' actually hate each other! I love children, they're innocent like you say, so I don't want them to feel troubled when they're this young and immature."

Rinali sighed. "Allen-kun, that's very nice and noble of you, but even so, you should be honest with children," she advised. Then she glared. "Lavi, get off the floor, you're embarrassing yourself!"

"I… can't… help… it!" Lavi choked in between bouts of laughter. "That was a priceless moment! I never thought anyone would call YOU Moyashi, Rinali!"

Rinali nudged him hard with her foot. "Get up, you're supposed to be their Uncle Lavi and show them a good example," she grumbled, clearly not liking the fact that Lavi would be able to remember Yuukan's mistake forever, what with his photographic memory.

"God, I'm gonna love being their Uncle Lavi," the redhead smirked as he sat up and kneeled in front of the twins. "Hey boys, do you love your parents?"

"We love Mama, he's been nice to us so far," Andy said. "But Papa, ooh, he's _mean_. Kan-chan and I are gonna teach him a lesson, ne?"

Yuukan only smirked wide in reply.

"Okaay," Lavi nodded, his Chesire-cat grin never once fading. "Hey, I've got a great idea on how to do that. Want me to teach you?"

"YES!" the twins both yelled together.

Allen and Rinali raised their eyebrows suspiciously.

"Lavi," Allen said slowly. "What are you _doing_?"

"Oh, you'll see, Moyashi-chan," Lavi said sadistically.

"Uncle Lavi, you call Mama pretty too?" Yuukan asked.

"It doesn't mean pretty, Kan-chan," Rinali said, with just a smidgen of snappiness. "Your Mama was just… joking with you." She shot Allen a Look.

"Then what does it mean?" Andy asked, frowning.

"Beansprout!" Lavi said happily.

The twins' faces were absolutely priceless.

"…HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Allen buried his face in his right hand in frustration. '_Okay, I'm not sure if I'll ever live this down._'

**x x x**

"OH! So Mama and Papa hate each other!" Yuukan and Andy said. Even as they said it their faces were perfect "D:"s.

"That's right," Lavi nodded. "But I'll tell you kids this— hate can very slowly turn into love. It's pretty simple, though I don't really know how it works, because I'll NEVER love the Akuma or the Millenium Earl. Nuh-uh. Oh, and all them old ladies always tell me that two enemies will eventually get married someday. I believe that! …again, never will love the Akuma or the Earl."

"But if Mama and Papa hate each other…" Andy said, tapping his chin. "That's not fair! Why do they hafta hate each other? Kan-chan and I want a happy family!"

"Believe you me, Andy-chan, the rest of us here wanted that a _long _time ago," Lavi sighed. "That's why I'm telling you this. I've got a plan!"

"What plan?" Yuukan asked suspiciously.

"C'mere," Lavi said, even though the three of them were already in his room with no one else around. The twins jumped onto either side of him on the bed and leaned closer.

"I'll bet the two of you are really smart. You're already cute and innocent-looking, that's just what I need. And you're kids. That's the best part, I tell ya," Lavi whispered excitedly.

"Hang on, hold up, chill a sec! What is this whole thing about, first of all?" Yuukan interrupted.

Lavi's smirk became extremely psychotic. "We're gonna start Operation Matchmaking," he replied evilly.

The twins' eyes widened. "Matchmaking…?"

"Can we handle that?" Andy asked, looking worried. "We're just kids. It sounds so compwicated."

"Uh, Andy? The word's comp-LI-cated," Yuukan corrected. "Ya know, Auntie Rinali's 'li'."

"You see? You kids are only five years old and you know the word complicated," Lavi said.

"Um, that's not exactly all we know," Andy said, tilting his head innocently.

Lavi blinked in awe. "Seriously, what did Komui teach you?"

"Everything we were supposed to know, he said. Except that he said only a boy and girl can be parents. Why can't a boy and boy be parents, Uncle Lavi?" Yuukan asked.

"Hmm," Lavi tapped his chin. "That's kinda hard to explain."

He looked around, then he snapped his fingers. "Of course!"

With one quick, fluid movement, he leapt off his bed and started searching for something at his desk.

"Uncle Lavi, what're you doing?"

"Finding a book," Lavi replied.

Yuukan and Andy exchanged raised-eyebrow looks.

"Found ya!" Lavi held up a book high in the air. The twins could see the word _Opposites _written glossily on the cover.

"Uncle Lavi, you're not reading the WHOLE thing to us, are you? By the time you're done, we'd probably have no time to go matchmake Mama and Papa," Andy said. He tilted his head doubtfully. "And I think we'll go to sleep at the end…"

"Pfft, 'course I ain't reading this to you, I get bored easily when I read to people," Lavi said dismissively. "I'm just gonna show you some parts of it to let you kids understand, 'kays?"

The twins nodded and they began their corrupting session with their dear Uncle Lavi.

**x x x**

"Yuukan? Andy?" Allen called.

He knew that Lavi wanted the twins to do something for him but surely they couldn't have just disappeared like that.

'_Allen Walker, you know Lavi very well. Even if he _is _a bit… weird, you know he's not a perv._' he thought firmly to himself.

'_Is he?_'

"Damn it," Allen cursed to himself. He rarely cursed, but he just felt like he wanted to. Oh God, Kanda can't be getting to him already. Not with those twins around!

Allen blinked. The door of the library just opened.

Turning, he blinked even more to see Yuukan and Andy come out slowly, their eyes wide and glassy. Lavi followed soon after, a very big smirk on his face.

"Lavi! What did you do to them?" Allen hissed.

"Nothing. They're just a bit corrupted now, is all," Lavi said calmly, brushing his hands together with satisfaction. "Ah, Allen, don't you worry. These kids are twice as good at handling this kinda stuff than you are, they'll recover pretty soon."

"Homo…phobia… possible," Yuukan murmured in a zombie-like way.

Allen's jaw dropped.

"Aww, don't say that! You haven't recovered yet! By the time you do, you'd LOVE it, since, well, your parents are that kind, anyway," Lavi smirked.

"NO WE ARE NOT!"

"Okay, I'm done," Andy suddenly said, perking up as if he'd just woken up from a deep sleep. "Thanks, Uncle Lavi! I LUV ya!" He hugged Lavi's leg cutely.

"Aw, so sweet," Lavi said, smiling goofily. "I _love_ this kind of children."

"Then why don't you just go and have some with Rinali?" Allen muttered.

"Allen! How could you say that? First of all, Komui would have me in ribbons to braid Rinali's hair. Second of all," Lavi smirked rather proudly. "I am not interested in women."

Allen's expression didn't change. "Then why were you practically all over Krory's Eliade when we first met her?"

Lavi's didn't, either. "Ohh. That was when I was bi."

Allen sweatdropped.

* * *

**Syaoran: **SORRY LAVI! I didn't mean to make you… bi, gay, whatever.

**Lavi: **It's FINE, Shasha-chan. About a hundred other Authoresses wrote the same thing. Though sometimes I prefer being with Yuu-chan than Tyki.

**Kanda: **Um… no comment. –blushes-

**Allen: **WHAT?

**Kanda: **-mumbles- Some of those Authoresses are really, really good at portraying it.

**Rinali: **Kanda, you're going to be with Allen, please don't twist things now.

**Kanda: **Oh, fine.

**Syaoran: **BTW, I didn't make a mistake about Lavi and the twins being in the library. Lavi just decided to show them _more _things on homosexuality. -smirks-


	5. Let's Get It Started

**Syaoran: **Tsk tsk, evil Lavi, now Yuukan's a bit homophobic all because of you. I _told _you little kids shouldn't be so severely corrupted at five years old.

**Lavi: **I can't help it! They're so innocent, it completely freaked me out. I needed them to be more devilish to work out my grand plan. –chuckles evilly-

**Yuukan: **I am NOT homophobic! I just hate incest! Who the hell wants to be with their own brother or sister— that's GROSS! It's just like me doing IT with Andy! EEW!

**Andy: **-throws up- KAN-CHAN, DID YOU _HAVE _TO SAY IT LIKE THAT?

**Yuukan: **Well, how else was I supposed to say it? Having sex?

**The others: **O.O

**Allen: **I'm never letting you be with the twins alone again, Lavi. Never ever again.

**Lavi: **-sweatdrops- Err… it's Shasha-chan's fault! _She _manipulated my mind! That's why she shouldn't be trusted with owning D .Gray-Man!

**Syaoran: **True. But hey, it's not my fault you're a perv!

**Allen&&Rinali: **Hear, hear!

**Lavi: **Dangit, my problem again?

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . F i v e – L e t ' s . G e t . I t . S t a r t e d .**

Allen was fast asleep.

Yuukan and Andy, who were both sharing a bed that was put in Allen's room specially for them, were asleep, too. But a short while later, their eyes very slowly peeked open.

"Is Mama really asleep?" Andy whispered to Yuukan.

"I think so. Wanna take a risk?" his brother replied.

Andy grinned in response. Both leapt out of bed silently and stealthily. After making sure their mother wasn't stirring, they slipped out of the room.

**x X X x**

"Gawd, what time is it?" Lavi groaned as he jolted awake, hearing knocking on his door.

'Five in the morning_? Who the HECK is banging on my door this early? Only Yuu-chan wakes this early, and it'll be a freezing day in hell when he decides to knock on _my _door…'_

Lavi went to answer it.

"Uncle Lavi!"

"Oof!" Lavi was thrown backwards by the force of the twins. "Ohh, it's you guys. I completely forgot I asked you to meet me."

"You're forgetful, Uncle Lavi," Andy chided. Lavi grinned.

"I do that on purpose. I've got a photographic memory," he bragged.

"Doesn't seem that photographic to me," Yuukan remarked bluntly. "Only for homo matters."

Lavi pretended to swat at Yuukan, who laughed.

"All righty then, kiddos!" he said. "We're gonna officially start Operation Matchmaking today."

"Do you have a plan, Uncle Lavi?" Andy asked.

"Um…" Lavi scratched his head innocently. "Ihaven'treallythoughtaboutaplan but we've got some time, so let's use it!"

The twins sweatdropped.

"So the objective of the plan is to get Mama and Papa together, right?" asked Yuukan.

"Correct. It's actually not very hard, the only reason why I'm not the one doing it is that everyone knows my tricks already. Your dear daddy's quite generous with his precious Mugen when it comes to me…" Lavi said, grinning.

"But if it comes to us, no one will have the heart to scold or hit us, right?" Yuukan said. "_Cool…_"

"It totally pays to be little kids," Andy said with satisfaction. "Being innocent has its advantages."

"Right," Lavi nodded. "But the best fun is when people are very sure you're adorable and innocent, then you do something completely…gosh, I can't even find the word. It's when you do something wicked, but very fun and beneficial to others and doesn't exactly harm anyone. Corrupting isn't harming, I've tried that so many times already."

"I bet strangers think of you as the adorable and innocent one, Uncle Lavi," Andy said.

"Uh-huh," Lavi smirked. "But more of the sexy moron type, if you get what I mean. 'Cuz your mom's the one with the oh-so-innocently goddamned cute thing going on."

"It's a bit freaky how he does that," Yuukan remarked, biting his lower lip. "Seeing as he's a guy…"

"You think he's a hermie?" Andy asked suspiciously.

"Hermie?" Lavi blinked.

"We don't bother saying hermaphrodite straight out," Yuukan explained. He turned to Andy. "You kidding? Of course not. But it's scary, isn't it? I don't wonder at all why the scientists and Komui-san thought you were a girl."

"Oh shut up," Andy snapped. "You're being annoying."

"Aww, Andy's mad at me," Yuukan grinned. "Want me to kiss you and make it better?"

Lavi's eyes went wide. "Uh, Kan-chan… are you positively sure you're not into incest?"

"EWWWW! NO WAY! WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?"

"No brother would offer to _kiss _their little brother unless their brother is a newborn," Lavi said slowly.

Yuukan and Andy stared at each other.

"So what we've been doing is incest?" Andy cried.

"What do you do?" Lavi asked with perverted interest.

"Ummmm, normal things? Like hug…and kiss on the cheek… stuff like that," Andy mumbled. "While we were still in that secret place in the library."

"Why can't I do that? I just love my brother! He's my TWIN! Twins love each other a LOT more than normal siblings!" Yuukan yelled.

"That's why there is such thing as twincest," Lavi said knowledgeably.

Yuukan and Andy's jaws dropped.

"You don't believe me? Ask the Authoress."

**Don't ask me! I dislike incest! I'd never make my two precious darling KandAre offspring incestuous! LAVI, THAT'S ENOUGH CORRUPTING!**

"Aw phooey. Since the Authoress says so…" Lavi sighed. "Okay, you two aren't incestuous. Shasha-chan's mean."

**I'm not! All 'cuz I'm a disturbed thirteen-year-old kid with a very hentai imagination that even gets me the title 'QUEEN OF INSANITY' in school, doesn't mean I'd go this far!**

"Okay, relax already," Lavi sulked.

"Yes, calm down, Syaoran-niichan," Andy said.

"So, can we stop it with incest and MOVE ON? I really don't want to spoil your plans by turning REALLY homophobic!" Yuukan snapped.

"Ah," Lavi nodded. "It'll be a heck of a bummer if you do. Andy's sweet enough but he can't handle it alone."

The three of them sat on Lavi's bed again like the day before.

"So what do we do first?" Andy asked.

"For Operation Matchmaking to go smoothly, you two have to be detectives," Lavi said, stern mode on.

"Why?" Yuukan asked.

"So that if we have planner's block, we just use what we observe to our advantage," replied his redheaded uncle with a big, knowing smile.

"Sounds good. We could be really observant," Andy said, his eyes gleaming.

"But what exactly do we observe?" Yuukan asked. Bless him, such a perfectionist.

"All sorts. For example, if you know your papa's coming in one direction and you know exactly how to ask your mama to go the other direction, the most perfect result is that they'd bump into each other and fall," Lavi said. "But be original, will ya; you can't ALWAYS do this trick. Yuu-chan and Allen aren't stupid."

"We know," the twins shot.

"Yeah, I know you know," Lavi said fondly, ruffling their hair like he always did Allen's. "Okay! Let's discuss other parts of the plan. Operation Matchmaking is NOT going to be as easy as ya think."

**x X X x**

"Mm, what time is it…?" Allen mumbled, rolling over.

"Seven thirty," a voice responded.

"Oh, thanks." Allen suddenly opened his eyes. "Wait, whut?"

"MORNING, SLEEPING BEAUTY!" The twins glomped him lovingly.

"Oof! Oh, it's you boys- Aah, that's enough, I just woke up, my breathing's not stable yet!" Allen choked.

Giggling, the twins let go of him and smiled innocently down at their mother.

"What's with the expressions?" Allen asked suspiciously, sitting up.

"What expressions?" the twins responded.

"Boys, you're talking to your _mother _here. I've been with your Uncle Lavi for a lot longer than you have. I've seen the people he's corrupted. I know enough to know the poor victims become a bit too perverted for their own good, so your innocent looks are a bit creepy," Allen smiled.

"But we're not doing anything, really," Andy said.

"Yep. We just wanted to say good morning to our beautiful Mama," Yuukan added sweetly.

"Okay, I'll believe you," Allen said. "Have you kids taken a shower yet?"

"Mama, we're five. Don't tell me we'd walk around smelling like stinkbombs," Yuukan sighed.

Allen smiled, his right eye twitching involuntarily. '_When I was five I probably didn't even know how to eat without getting my whole body splattered in food. These kids are geniuses.'_

"Mama, I wished you spent more time with Papa," Andy said, pouting. "It's not nice having a single-parent family. Especially when the parent who's conveniently missing is in the same Order."

"It's not my fault," Allen defended himself. "I was willing to work with Kanda, but _he _didn't want to, so why should I bother?"

"So it's all Papa's fault?" Yuukan asked.

"I wouldn't say that. The real fault belongs to _Komui-_san," Allen replied darkly.

"But that means you're saying you don't want us!" Andy whined.

"Well, eh. Frankly, boys, I didn't expect to ever have children till I'm at least twenty-eight. Now I'm about thirteen years short of that age," Allen said nicely. "If I were a girl, people would think I'd've had you when I was _ten_."

"Oh," the twins sweatdropped. "We gotcha."

"But I really do love you boys," Allen said, putting an arm around each of them. "I've always liked children, such a mischievously innocent bunch. I promised my late father Mana Walker that if I had children, I'd treat them the way he'd treated me— with love and care. So what if you guys have _Kanda_'s blood, you've got mine, too, and that makes you half mine."

The twins smiled, leaning into their mother's embrace. "That's why we love you too, Mama," Andy murmured.

Allen felt a bit sentimental. '_Dang, I'm probably one of those few heterosexual guys who know the feeling of being a mom, it's so great!_'

Then he stopped.

'_Hold it. Am I even hetero?_'

The silver-haired teen blinked. '_Stupid question. Of course I am._'

Allen allowed himself to zone out for a while.

'_If I _am _hetero, why is it that every time I see Kanda, I get so mesmerized?_' he wondered vaguely.

Kanda, with his long, silky midnight black hair always tied up in that high ponytail, his pale, unblemished skin and amazingly delicate features that were sharp only because he kept scowling. Allen couldn't _not _be mesmerized.

'_I hate to admit it, but Kanda Yuu is actually really handsomely beautiful_.'

Allen bit his lip. Okay, this is going over the line.

"Mama, why are you blushing?" Yuukan asked, reaching up to touch Allen's cheek. He winced at the coldness of Yuukan's hand.

'_Oh God, this is going _way _over the line!_'

"No reason, Kan-chan," Allen smiled blithely.

**x X X x**

Yuukan and Andy smirked at each other as they ate in the cafeteria.

'_Whaddaya know, Uncle Lavi… it actually worked.'_

Allen sat opposite them, eating and staying a GOOD distance away from Kanda. If Lavi hadn't been part of the plan, he would've been suspicious trying to get his dear Yuu-chan and Moyashi-chan sitting together again. xD

The main reason for talking to Mama that morning was to poke at his dormant inner feelings for Kanda. And as the two thought, it worked!

"Kan-chan?" Andy whispered.

"Mm?"

"This is a mean thing to say, but Mama is _so _screwed now."

"That _is _mean, but this is even meaner; I agree witcha."

The evil look in their eyes just twinkled more.

* * *

**Syaoran: **Dang, I just can't help but make the twins seem evil.

**Lavi: **It's okay, it makes torturing Yuu-chan and Allen all the more fun!

**Syaoran: **-considers- Hey, you're right. THANKS LAVI! –glomps- BTW, like the makeover for the chapter? Thanks to my super bitchy, moody and angsty Black Side for writing **The Prelude**…But I like the way she used it, so I'm using it for **Boys Will Be Boys **too!

**Syaoran's Black Side: **Fangirlish copycat. Che.


	6. Daddy Dearest

**Syaoran: **First of all, lemme get this straight. When I said "I'm gonna use it" last chapter at the very bottom, I meant the STYLE of the way the chapter is written, not the story ideas of **The Prelude. **Sorry if I gave anyone the wrong impression!

Next, I ain't with the guys today because I have a feeling Kanda would still want Mugen up my sorry butt if he were to know about this chappy. Lavi, Rin-chan and Allen-kun are right now trying to get his mind off **Boys Will Be Boys** the fic as we speak. Though it's impossible with the twins around, heh.

Okay, movin' on! Yep, you guessed it, a chapter dedicated to KANDA! xD Gosh, I love Kanda torture, especially when the twins are in evil mode right now. They're not going to be ALL evil, though, they still need to know a lot more about the ways of the world. Yes, that means the pesky Millenium Earl and his weirdo Akuma. OTL

But be warned, this Kanda torture, at the moment, isn't in any way related to Allen AT ALL. I mean REAL torture. Torture because of his 'humiliated' pride as a samurai. MUAHAHAHA, read on to find out!

**Disclaimer: If I owned D. Gray-Man and not Hoshino Katsura-sama, none of the four bishounen will ever have to worry about wearing shirts ever again.**

**Warning: OOCness. It'll always be really OOC when it comes to Kanda!**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . S i x – D a d d y . D e a r e s t .**

Kanda frowned. He could've sworn he heard something.

It had been bugging him for quite a while ever since he stepped out to do his training at the grounds.

The samurai unsheathed Mugen slowly, pretending to be absorbed in concentration.

Again. There it was, that frigging annoying rustling sound.

Kanda's patience level dropped a couple of notches.

Very slowly, he held the hilt of Mugen in his most comfortable manner for attacking.

'_I'm gonna give you one more chance. If you make one more—'_

Rustle rustle rustle.

Kanda whipped around with a snarl and attacked.

But whoever was in the bushes was equally fast. Kanda blinked when two blurs leapt out, one brandishing a mini version of Mugen and defending with surprising strength.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there!" the owner of the mini katana yelled. "Wow, Mama was right when he said you'd use Mugen. Can I report ya for child abuse?"

Kanda stared down at the twins, his eye twitching slightly as it always did whenever he saw them. "Oh. It's you."

"Yes, it's us," Andy smiled innocently.

"What are you doing here?" Kanda snapped. "Isn't your _mother _worried that you're here? This ain't a place for brats."

"If this place is so dangerous, why did Mama let us come?" Yuukan shot back defiantly. "He wouldn't've if it wasn't safe. Besides!"

He smirked—a cross between Allen's and Kanda's smirk. The samurai felt the hair on his arms stand on end.

"Nothing can hurt us anyway," Yuukan finished arrogantly.

"Che. Liar," Kanda said shortly.

"Am not," Yuukan snapped. "You don't believe me? Okay, we'll play it your way, _Papa_." He reached up and ran a finger sharply over the tip of his katana. Kanda watched with shock as the boy held up the injured finger, blood slowly dripping from the wound.

Yuukan only smiled with satisfaction. "I can hurt myself and it wouldn't matter."

"Stop doing that," Kanda said sharply.

"Why?" Yuukan pouted.

"You're gonna die if you keep mutilating yourself," the samurai retorted irritably, a bit creeped out by how calmly Yuukan could just cut himself like that.

"No I won't," Yuukan said defiantly.

"Yes you will."

"Won't!"

"Will."

"Won't!"

"Will—" Kanda stopped. Okay, how childish was _this_?

"Komui-san says we'll only die if our Innocence is taken away from us," Andy explained, a bit exasperated that his brother was making Kanda wary. Then he considered. On the other hand, that's kinda cool…

"I'd say that was yesterday," Kanda muttered, turning away from the twins as he flipped Mugen expertly.

Yuukan watched his movements with undisguised fascination. "Sorry? Didn't catch that."

"Nothing," Kanda said, thrusting the katana outward, already ignoring the twins and concentrating on his training instead.

Yuukan continued watching, oblivious to anything else but his father's defined movements. Andy, rapidly growing bored, sat a few feet away and watched both his twin and Kanda.

'_Kan-chan loves kendo, so this is definitely going to be good.'_

Kanda noticed that Yuukan was staring. Slightly self-conscious, he straightened up and glared at the boy. "What's so interesting, brat?"

"Your moves," Yuukan responded. "Very cool."

Kanda couldn't help but feel a prick of pride. '_Dammit, don't let the kid get to you._'

"Che. I'm only training. Wait till you see me in a real battle," the samurai couldn't resist bragging slightly.

"How good are you in battle?" Yuukan asked with interest.

"Pretty good, duh," Kanda said, raising an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be able to survive otherwise."

"Right," Yuukan nodded. "Hey, Papa, can you challenge me?"

'_Bingo,_' Andy thought with an inward smirk. '_Yappari…_'

Kanda's eye twitched again. "Me. Challenge _you_," he repeated in disbelief.

Yuukan nodded seriously.

"You're not kidding," Kanda said blankly.

"Nope," the silver-haired samurai chibi agreed. He started playing with his katana carelessly. "I've been practicing by myself, but it's boring. Andy's kind of the parasite-type, I don't wanna hurt his arm. So challenge me."

"You're just a five-year-old brat," his father retorted. "I can't challenge a kid."

Instead of being annoyed, Yuukan suddenly smirked, his dark eyes glinting. "Why? Too scared?"

Kanda stiffened. "I don't abuse kids. Even if they _are _brats."

Yuukan's smirk still remained. "If you fight me, you wouldn't think you were fighting a boy," he said smoothly.

"Cocky," Kanda said, a humourless smile spreading on his own face. "You think you're that good?"

"Yeah!" Yuukan said innocently. "In fact, I think I'm very good. Good enough to fight you."

Kanda laughed mirthlessly. "Che. Don't get a big head. It'll make you look like an alien… not that I care, but you and I look alike, you know."

Yuukan obviously had had enough. His eyes had begun to narrow and narrow until they were practically slits, though his smirk still stayed on his pale face.

In one quick movement, he disappeared and reappeared right in front of Kanda's face. He slashed once with his katana and disappeared again, reappearing at his original spot.

Kanda stared.

Slowly, he lifted his hand and touched his cheek.

One small cut. Which was _bleeding_.

"You cut me," Kanda said quietly, his eyes dead on Yuukan's.

The younger samurai returned the stare. "Yep."

"You. Cut. Me," Kanda repeated. "You, a five-year-old _gaki_, cut me, an eighteen-year-old."

"Well, yes. You're really kinda slow, Papa," Yuukan whined.

"Don't call me that," Kanda hissed through gritted teeth.

"Then what am I supposed to call you, Papa? Yuu-chan, like Uncle Lavi does?"

"Do that and I'll drive Mugen through you," the samurai snarled.

"Ooh! Finally, a challenge," Yuukan said excitedly. "Can we start, can we?"

Kanda eyed the kid. '_This kid's got half my personality. And half of that Moyashi's. It's… _interesting.'

"What's your full name, gaki?" he suddenly shot.

Yuukan blinked. "Hmm. If we were in Japan, I'd be Kanda Yuukan. But since we're not in Japan, I'm Yuukan Kanda. Oh yeah, I've been waiting to ask you, which should it be?"

"The former," Kanda replied shortly.

"Okay. Whew, what a relief!" Yuukan grinned. Then he raised an eyebrow. "But why'dja ask, Papa?"

"No reason," the samurai shrugged. He had begun to smile, but now it was turning sadistic. He pointed Mugen at Yuukan, who didn't even blink.

"You asked for it, Yuukan. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't," Yuukan said with a sudden Allen-like smile. Then his own expression became as sadistic as his father's. "Bring it on, old man."

Kanda's eye twitched yet again. '_Old man?_'

Andy smirked as he pulled out a bag of popcorn from nowhere. '_I'm loving this!_'

**x x x**

"No way! I beat you fair and square!" Yuukan protested, pouting.

"I let you win, gaki. I told you I don't like abusing kids," Kanda said flatly.

"Don't lie, Papa. You just don't want to lose face," Andy chided.

"If I really did like abusing kids, all of them would be dead by now," his father said.

"I beat you fair and square! You're just trying to hide your embarrassment!" Yuukan jeered.

Allen, who heard this whole conversation, looked at them in surprise. "What's going on?"

"I beat Papa!" Yuukan yelled happily.

"Beat Papa in _what_?" Allen asked suspiciously.

"Kendo!"

Allen's jaw dropped to the floor.

"KANDA! You fought Yuukan?"

"No. The brat made me," Kanda said, looking away with a slight pout.

"Yeah, Mama, it took me a good long while to coax Papa into sparring with me," Yuukan agreed. "I even had to cut him at the side of his face."

Allen's eyes widened. "You _what_."

Kanda scowled. "That was a ridiculously stupid thing to do. Why did you have to _cut _me to fight me? You're not supposed to injure elders," he said sternly to Yuukan.

"Sorry, Papa," Yuukan stuck out his lower lip guiltily.

"Wait. Yuukan really _cut _your face?" Allen asked.

Kanda turned his head. Allen saw the already dried up cut on his usually pristine cheek.

"Yuukan, don't ever do that again," he said reproahcfully to Yuukan, who nodded dismally.

"I said I was sorry, what else do I have to do?" he wailed.

"Kiss Papa on the cheek to make the pain go away~" Andy sang.

Yuukan and Kanda looked at each other.

"C'mere, Papa!"

Kanda stared. "What? No way José, you are not kissing me. No one has ever kissed me before _anywhere_, and I'd like it to stay that way."

"Sorry, but this is the only way for me to redeem myself," Yuukan said, shrugging. "Ne, Mama?"

"Um," Allen said, tilting his head. Of course he couldn't say he would love to see Kanda's tortured face when Yuukan kissed his cheek, the samurai's katana would be up his ass in a jiffy. "I suppose that's what kids usually do. I don't know, I've never had little kid friends."

Kanda's face was rapidly turning a light shade of pink. "I don't want anyone to kiss me! Least of all not a gaki!"

Of course, being the evil boy that he was, Yuukan leapt onto Kanda without preamble and gave him a big smacker right on the cheek.

"Ooh, so cute! I wished I had a picture!" Andy said, his eyes turning into hearts and sparkles.

"Well, wish no more, I took it!" a voice said triumphantly. It was Rinali, holding a digital camera.

"Look what nii-san got me!" she said happily. "I've just gotten the hang of it, so I'm taking pictures which I find very, very, VERY CUTE! And _that _shot is the most blessed, miraculous shot I've taken today if I do say so myself." She winked.

Kanda's eye would probably never stop twitching again.

* * *

**Syaoran: **Yay! Yuukan is so smart. I didn't really mean for him to go cutting Kanda's precious face, but it's the only way he could've gotten Kanda to fight him.

**Yuukan: **I won't do it again, though. My punishment will be HARSH.

**Syaoran: **What is it?

**Yuukan: **-wails- Papa says he'll cut my hair short!

**Syaoran&&Andy: **...okay.


	7. Snow Kiss

**Lavi: **That was a cute chapter! Kan-chan _is _smart! –ruffles Yuukan's hair- Though I pity poor Yuu-chan for getting his face scarred. How is it, Yuu-chan?

**Kanda: **-glares- Don't ask, you idiot eye-patch.

**Lavi: **Mou~ don't insult my eye-patch! –turns to Syaoran- Ne, Shasha-chan, don't you ever do Review Responses? It's not fair if you don't respond, no one will review you like that.

**Syaoran: **Huh. Really? O.O

**DGM characters: **-nod knowledgeably-

**Syaoran: **Ahh, GOMEN, R&&RERS! I do love you guys for reviewing! I'll respond right away!

**Review Responses **

**xcadaverx – **Yep, you're right, Kanda's attitude will be a lot more fatherly to the twins eventually! He does have a soft spot for them even if he doesn't like kids. But it's not that he doesn't like them, he just dislikes annoying ones. Thanks fir the reviews! xD

**KiraLacus Forever – **Welcome to the world of -Man! I already PM-ed you but never mind! Thanks for sticking with my story! x3

**zenbon zakura – **Whoa…you've been with **Boys Will Be Boys **since the very starting! Thanks so much! And…er…is this fast enough updating? (x

**scintillating – **Thanks for the reviews! You've been with the story from nearly the starting too! Gosh, I love R&&Rers like you…x3

**firenose – **Gosh, you're like the only one to review **The Prelude **AND favourite it, too. Thanks a lot! The only reason why I like Predude 12-21 is because…it's the only song from AFI that I know! TT-TT Lame excuse, right? Anyway, thanks loads for the reviews!

**An Angel Flying with broken wings – **LOL, I loved your comment "I don't know whether to bop the twins or hug them"! Yeah, they're pretty annoying as evil twins, right? But evil is so much cuter than angelic when you've got these two! xP Thanks for the reviews!

**Pay Backs a Bitch – **Fantastic pen-name if I do say so myself. xD Payback IS a bitch, but when you're the one doing the payback, it seems like an angel, ne? I love your **Moyashi **story, please update it! Thanks for the reviews!

**Kokkoro no Ookami – **I agree with you, go Kanda torture! x3 And did Andy steal your popcorn? Sorry 'bout that! xD Thanks for the reviews!

**Tuli-Susi – **Oh, you do spoil me with your compliments. "You have quite a way with words"…I don't really think so, they just pop in my head and I type it out! And heh, my plot's insane? xD It's meant to be! Just you wait till a little later on…the plot's gonna get even more insane! Thanks for the reviews!

**luzopi – **Well, about whether Kanda or Yuukan won, I don't know myself! Kan-chan tells me that he won fair and square but Kanda insists that he let him win! LOL! Thanks for the reviews!

**Kanda Yu **– I was like O.O when I saw your pen-name but then I started laughing…because it's cute how much you adore the real Kanda! I love him too, but I don't think anyone really believes me…TT-TT…I love **So Little Time**, please update! Thanks for the review!

**buchouslvr – **xP Which buchou are you referring to? LOL! I so wish I had the family portrait too, but alas, it's just a want! I can never have it, unless a good artist is so kind as to draw it for me! xD Thanks for the reviews!

**Layhe – **Yepz, so totally agree with you. Allen-kun will definitely fix Kanda's 'haven't-been-kissed' thingy! But technically he already _has _been kissed, by Kan-chan…hmm…let's make it romance-wise, ne? xD Thanks for the review!

**Zed-Azrael – **Gosh. When you reviewed me, I was like OMFGosh, Zed-Azrael actually bothered to review me? Because you're one great writer! I'm in total awe of you! Dang your **I am Your Father**, it's because of that story I admire you so much! Writer-reader way, of course. xP Thanks so much for the review, sorry if I 'stole' your idea! TT-TT

**The8thSin – **Wow, the eighth sin…I know all the seven, now there's you? Good going there! xD What's your niece's name? I suddenly have a weird idea, but only if you can give me your niece's name…I'm not going to do anything ridiculous with it, I swear. xP Thanks for the review!

**Syaoran: **Dangit, now that the Review Responses have taken over one whole page, I guess I should be on with the story, ne?

**Lero: **Syaoran-sama doesn't own D. Gray-Man, Lero!

**Lavi: **? Where the heck did YOU come from? Why're you here?

**Lero: **Because you four already said the disclaimer for Syaoran-sama, Lero! I must be off, Rhode-tama wants me again, Lero… Die… T-T

**Everyone else present: **-shrugs-

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . S e v e n – S n o w . K i s s . **

Kanda stepped into the office and raised an eyebrow at Komui, who was seated at his desk.

"Kanda, I need you to go on a mission," Komui said, checking some documents.

Kanda just gazed at him. He wasn't one for making pointless small talk unlike that Moyashi.

"You've got a choice if you want to bring the twins with you," Komui said, looking up and giving Kanda a questionable gaze.

Kanda felt his entire body shudder as if he was hit by an electric shock. "No thank you," he said firmly.

Komui nodded with a smile. "If you say so."

**x X X x**

"Why don't you want to take us on the mission, Papa?" whined Andy.

"Because I've had enough of watching out for people's sorry asses. I don't care if you're supposed to be immortal," Kanda responded cuttingly.

"Mou, Papa's mean," Yuukan pouted.

"_And _I don't want you suddenly hacking at my face again for no reason," Kanda added. "Believe me, I know you will."

"Okay," the twins sighed. "Bye-bye, Papa."

Kanda thought that would be enough. But nooo, of course not.

The twins leapt up at the same time and kissed Kanda on either side of his face.

"What the heck?" Kanda burst out in shock.

"We're your boys. We wanna show you our love and concern!" Andy smiled innocently.

"Love and concern my ass. If you want to do _that_, you shouldn't be kissing me!" Kanda said hotly. For some reason, his cheeks had turned pink again.

"Why, Papa? You haven't been kissed ever since you were a kid like you said, you should be showered with kisses!" Yuukan smiled.

"Yuu-chan! Be safe, okay!" Lavi suddenly appeared and gave Kanda a very quick glomp before backing away as usual, Mugen pointed at his chest.

"Not you, too," Kanda growled. Lavi just grinned widely.

"Oh! Someone's missing!" Andy said, tilting his head.

"Who?" Lavi asked.

The twins smirked at each other before cupping their hands over their mouths and shouting—

**x X X x**

"MAMA!"

Allen almost jumped out of his skin hearing the shriek.

'_OMG. Are the twins in trouble? What the heck?' _Allen thought frantically, running as fast as he could.

"What?" the cursed teen yelled, skidding to a stop. Andy and Yuukan were standing with Kanda and Lavi at the entrance of the Order.

"Mama, you never said goodbye to Papa!" the twins whined.

Allen stared. Lavi giggled. Kanda scowled.

"Well?" Andy said, pouting, thrusting a finger at Kanda. "Say goodbye!"

Allen took a deep breath. "Andy, all because Papa's going on a mission doesn't mean I should say goodbye to him because _he _doesn't want me to," he said in the most patient and sweetest voice possible.

"Nononono! You MUST say goodbye to Papa! What if he DIES?" Yuukan insisted, his eyes wide.

The three teenagers blinked down at the twins.

"_What_?" Kanda hissed. "You think that I, Kanda Yuu, will die in a mission so foolishly simple that even you two can handle it with your eyes closed?"

The twins were quiet. Then… "Yes! So Mama MUST say goodbye to you!"

A red vein pop appeared beside Kanda's head as he growled.

Allen sighed. He turned to Kanda, who glared at him with narrowed eyes.

"G-g…" Allen choked and cleared his throat. Stiffly, he looked up at Kanda in the eyes and said, "Goodbye, Kanda."

"Hn," Kanda hmphed, turning away.

"That's not enough!"

Allen and Kanda froze.

"What now, boys?" Lavi asked, a very big smirk on his face.

The two smirked back before saying innocently, "KISS!"

"WTF?" Allen and Kanda whipped towards the twins.

"Yes! Kiss! Aw, c'mon, you ARE our Mama and Papa, please do it for us?" Andy begged, his eyes wobbling anime style.

Allen and Kanda sweatdropped before looking at each other again.

"Are you sure?" Allen whined, glancing at the twins.

"YES!" they insisted. "Otherwise… otherwise we'll cry! Trust us, you won't like it if we cry! Cotton wads won't work either if you try putting it in your ears!"

"Well, that's good for me, I'm going on the mission," Kanda retorted, beginning to stride away. Allen quickly grabbed his arm desperately.

Kanda glared at him furiously. "The hell are you doing?" he hissed.

'_Oh my God, kissing him will be like kissing an iceberg!' _Allen thought, biting his lip.

'_Ah, what the heck! It's either kissing him or the twins making everyone in the Order go deaf, I'd rather sacrifice myself first!'_

Quickly, Allen yanked Kanda so that the samurai fell forward forcibly.

"What the—"

"Shut up," Allen hissed before their lips met.

Time completely stopped.

Allen wondered if he was still a living human being… he'd just kissed the most homicidal man on Earth who was also currently with his Innocence-powered katana strapped to his hip. And Allen Walker had kissed him _on the lips_.

But suddenly he began to realize that he was most definitely alive… and that Kanda's lips were not cold and harsh as he'd thought. In fact, they were rather soft and… mushy.

'_Mushy. All the words in the world I could've used, and I use _MUSHY?' Allen's hazy mind screamed.

But there was no mistaking this texture of Kanda's lips. It _was _mushy, and it tasted oh so good… all the candy in the world couldn't compare to the samurai's lips.

As for Kanda, he was shocked. The innocent, too-naïve-to-even-be-an-Exorcist teenager had just pulled him hard so that they could kiss. Initially Kanda wanted to drive Mugen through him as well for doing so… then he tasted Allen's lips.

Kanda hated sweets, but the cursed teen's lips were a million times better than just any ordinary sweet taste. It was addictive even for him. Kanda couldn't let go. He didn't even want to.

Slowly, they pulled apart from each other, staring into each other's eyes, completely stunned and breathing hard.

"YAY! You did it!" the twins squealed happily.

"Oh. My. Fucking. Gosh," Lavi breathed, his jaw practically detached from his upper mouth.

"I'M SO GLAD I WAS HERE!" A female voice screamed. It was Rinali… with her digicam.

Allen and Kanda stared at her mutely.

"YES. I'M SORRY, BUT I CAUGHT IT ON CAMERA!" Rinali screamed fangirlishly.

The two of them looked so red that everything else that was red would probably scream as loud as Rinali in jealousy.

"Um, I guess you can… well, go now," Allen mumbled, hardly daring to look at Kanda.

"C-che…" was Kanda's shaky response before slowly turning away and leaving.

Allen raised his gaze and watched Kanda leave.

"This feeling," he whispered.

'_What is this feeling_?'

In the background, Lavi, Rinali, Yuukan and Andy were sharing silent high-fives. Oh yeah! xD

* * *

**Syaoran: **WHEEEEEE! Their first kiss! I used the title Snow Kiss because Kanda's really rather cold… but his kiss ISN'T like snow, though! Although I wouldn't know, I have not kissed Kanda yet…

**Allen: **Yeah, well, you never will, Miss Syaoran. You never will.

**Syaoran: **-pouts- I know that. BTW, where _is _Kanda?

**Lavi: **Yuu-chan is stunned… because of your magnificent writing power, oh mighty Shasha-chan. –snickers-


	8. Realization & A New Accomplice

**-**Everyone waiting outside Syaoran's room, worried. Andy comes out-

**Lavi: **How is she, Doctor Andy?

**Andy: **Well, Uncle Lavi… -looks up over spectacles- The signs aren't good. She's got the fever all right.

-Everyone gasps-

**Rinali: **OMG. Exactly what fever is it? -wrings hands-

**Andy: **According to my diagnosis, ma'am, Syaoran-niichan's got visual kei fever.

**Allen: **Visual kei? Oh, that's seriously… serious.

-Everyone else nods in agreement-

**Lavi: **How bad is it?

**Andy: **Pretty bad. Falls under the "The Gazette" category. I saw it on her computer screen… thank goodness I'm a boy, I'm immune to such fever.

**Rinali: **Um. The Gazette _are _hot. Though I don't know why I'm not as fangirl over them as Syaoran-kun.

**Andy: **Simple. You're a lesbian.

**Rinali: **Oh.

**Lero: **Sympathies from the Noah family about Syaoran-sama's visual kei fever, Lero! I have a message from Rhode-tama, Lero!

**Allen: **-opens the message, Rhode's voice comes out- "Sorry to hear you're drooling over Ruki, Reita, Uruha, Aoi and Kai terribly hard. And you don't own D. Gray-Man."

-Everyone sweatdrops-

**Allen: **Tell Rhode, um… thanks?

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . E i g h t – R e a l i z a t i o n . && . A . N e w . A c c o m p l i c e .**

Allen threw himself backwards on his bed.

_'W__hat did I just do?'_

He knew perfectly well. He just kissed Kanda Yuu. That was what he did.

"But why do I get this feeling that… I liked it?" Allen murmured to himself blankly.

Kanda, his number-one enemy. Almost tied for first with the Millenium Earl. Obviously Allen hated the Earl more because he was _evil_, of course, but sometimes the baka samurai was trying enough to top the list of Allen's hated people.

Not that Allen hated many. It was mostly the Noah family on the list.

"Arrgh!" Allen moaned, burying his face in his hands, breathing deeply. "Why, why, _why_? The twins are up to something, I just know it! And with _Lavi_'s help, too. Oh my God, of all people, Lavi…"

Besides that perverted pedophile Tyki Mikk, Lavi was a true prince of corruption. Andy and Yuukan were definite victims already.

Even worse, they seemed to _enjoy_ being corrupted!

"They're _so _up to something," Allen repeated darkly to himself.

'_Something about me and… Kanda!_'

"AARRGHH."

Back into his hands Allen's face went.

**x X X x**

Kanda stared out of the window of the train, his lips pressed tightly together. Usually, he would concentrate every ounce of his being on the mission, physically and mentally. But now, his routine was disrupted.

By Moyashi!

Kanda narrowed his eyes slightly, feeling himself heat up a little as he remembered what had happened.

'_What the heck?_'

He replayed the scene in his mind. The cursed teen, reaching to grab his arm. Then yanking him as if he were a rag doll. Then with a half-nervous, half-fierce expression on his face and hissing "Shut up" in that low voice he'd NEVER heard the kid use, and then their lips had connected.

"Fuck," Kanda muttered.

Now the problem was not wondering why the heck Allen did it. Kanda already sort of knew. The dratted twins, obviously. No, now he was fretting as to why he was so shaken up about it.

'_Get a grip, Kanda Yuu. It was a stupid kiss, it wasn't even a _kiss, _nothing happened. Moyashi only did it for the boys, he's got such a mother complex, damn him._'

But ohh God, Kanda couldn't deny he enjoyed it.

Reaching up unconsciously, he touched his lips lightly with the very tips of his fingers. The burning sensation was still there.

'_Would all kisses feel like this?_'

He wouldn't know. He was a kissing virgin, for damn's sake.

Kanda narrowed his eyes more. Well, technically he was no longer the kissing virgin he once was. Allen Walker had stolen his first kiss.

Allen Walker had stolen his first kiss.

_Allen fucking Walker had stolen his first kiss._

"Damn you!" Kanda burst out, slamming a fist against the compartment door, not caring if anyone heard.

'_I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at _ME. _I don't want to enjoy that! His lips were sweet… and soft… and…'_

Kanda groaned.

He liked it, and he wanted more. Oh heck, he wanted so much more than that.

'_Way to come out of the closet, Yuu-chan,_' Lavi's words suddenly echoed in his mind.

"I'm gay," Kanda muttered. It was surreal. It was unreal. It wasn't even real at all. Yet in a twisted way (to him anyway), it was real and true. "I'mgayI'mgayI'mgay."

Otherwise why could he only think of Allen? If he tried to think of, say, Rinali that way, he'd shudder in disgust. And Rinali is not a person you should shudder in disgust about, unless you hate her of course. And Kanda doesn't really hate her.

Of all people. _Allen Walker._

'_I'm so screwed._'

**x X X x**

"I LOVE you boys!" Rinali squealed, glomping the twins.

"Aaack- Auntie Rinali- WE NEED OXYGEN," Yuukan gasped for air.

"Oops, sorry! Hee."

"What're you here for, anyway, Rinali?" Lavi asked suspiciously. "You never step foot in my room, I don't know why, you just don't."

"I wanna be in on your grand plan," Rinali explained, her eyes glittering. Then they darkened and she cast a glare at Lavi. "_And_, I want my novel back."

Lavi froze. "Wh-what novel?"

Rinali snorted. "The gig's up, Lavi. I know you like BL," she said simply, crossing her arms.

"You didn't tell the others?" the twins both yelled in surprise.

Lavi's face turned as red as his flaming hair. "Um, what are you talking about, Rinali?"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about, buster," Rinali snapped. "My novel. _Opposites. _By the pen-name Saya-Sama."

"I don't have that!"

"You do! It can't be anyone else. You're the Prince of Perverse Corruption around here, _including _shounen and shoujo ai. And you're Bookman's apprentice, for goodness sake, so you spend more time in the library than any of us. I always borrow most of my yaoi novels from the library, and suddenly they've gotten a lot less."

Rinali stopped and smirked at Lavi. "And even if I don't step foot in _your _room, _you _always come to _mine_."

"Ooh. What for?" Andy said, smiling innocently.

"I'm gay," Lavi snapped. Then he sighed. "Okay, I give up. I have your novel. But I haven't finished reading it!"

"Me neither!" Rinali said. "And since I got first dibs, let _me _finish it first. Meanwhiles I'll let you read _When an exorcist gets 7 days off_, it's as good as _Opposites_."

"…okay," Lavi pouted. "Maa, let's get on to business, ne, boys?"

"What do we hafta do this time?" Andy asked.

"Hm. Nothing much, really," Lavi said, rummaging about for the novel. "Since Yuu-chan's on the mission, there's only poor Allen here, and we can't do much unless both of them are here."

"So form a plan for when Kanda gets back," Rinali replied simply, taking _Opposites _from Lavi.

"Yes, how, O Knowledgeable Goddess Formerly Known As Rinali Li?"

"Shut up," Rinali snapped, blushing. "I'm not that knowledgeable. Anyways, I've got no inspiration right now. Planner's block is easy to get."

"You're telling us," Yuukan said darkly. "And Uncle Lavi doesn't exactly do _much _at all. _We _have to do the planning."

"So that you can get credit!" Lavi reasoned. "All my plans have definite 'Copyrighted Lavi' on it! Anyone can guess it's mine! You guys are smart enough to get credit for your own plans."

"Uh-huh, at five years old," Yuukan said, rolling his eyes. "Never mind. What are the possible scenarios that could happen when Papa gets back?"

"That he gets severely attacked and falls sick," Rinali replied almost immediately.

The three males stared at her.

"Oh, c'mon. Don't you guys ever read doujinshi?" Rinali sighed. "Of course you don't, you're not fangirls. Whatever. Anyway, since you made Kanda so stunned, it's bound to make his mind go a bit haywire now. And he won't concentrate on the mission as well as he oughta. And he'll get seriously injured. And when he comes back, he might just fall ill. And when he _does _get sick, you boys can beg your Mama to tend to him. Or rather, he might do it himself."

The three were just looking at her in awe.

"Wow. That's a _great _plan," Andy said.

"Where did you get this idea, Auntie Rinali?" asked Yuukan.

"I told you, doujinshi. I can lend you guys a few of mine," Rinali said matter-of-factly. Then she sat up straight, her face turning red. "Um, no, I can't. Sorry. They're kinda… graphic."

"Graphic doujinshi's probably nothing compared to what Uncle Lavi showed us couple days ago," Andy snorted.

Rinali stared at Lavi, who whistled and looked anywhere but her.

"Okay, remind me to get you a straightjacket and lock you up where you can't shatter any more innocent kids' minds," the Chinese muttered, shivering.

Lavi only smiled proudly to himself.

**x X X x**

Allen and Kanda were so totally screwed.

Their kiss had confirmed that.

Both of them stood at the windows of where they were, Allen being in his room, Kanda being at the hotel room he'd checked into.

Both of them were staring out at the night sky.

Both of them were using all their mental strength to think of anything random except each other.

And failed miserably.

"Kanda…" Allen murmured.

"Moyashi…" Kanda responded, almost as if they could hear each other. But they were thousands of miles away.

'_Why is this happening to me?_' they thought simultaneously with a sigh.

Little did they know that that was just the starting of the whole Operation Matchmaking that would change their lives forever.

* * *

**Syaoran: **Ga-zette… Ga-zette…

**Rinali: **She's crazy.

**Lavi: **Didn't we confirm that a long time ago?

**Rinali: **But she's really crazy now. Fangirl crazy.

**Allen: **I guess we should be the ones telling the R&&Rers that she won't be updating for a while, ne?

**Lavi: **Because of her end-of-year exams? Yeah, guess so.

**Syaoran: **GOMENASAI R&&RERS!

**-**The three sweatdrop-

**Allen: **M-maa… at least we know she can show signs of sanity…?

**Lavi: **If you can call _that _sanity.


	9. Anger

**Syaoran: **MY EXAMS ARE **OVER**!!! OVER OVER OVER!!! BANZAI, PEOPLE!!!!

**Lavi: **I'm happy for you, Shasha-chan, but when you die the day you receive your results, I shall definitely sponsor for your funeral, ne?

**Rinali: **And I'll ask the twins to give me ideas so that I can write the rest of **Boys Will Be Boys **for you.

**Syaoran: **I WON'T DIE!!! I MEAN NOT LITERALLY!! The R&&Rers depend on me, for gawd's sake.

**Rinali: **Yeah. Right. Sure thing. –whispers- Lavi, don't cancel the funeral wreaths, though.

**Syaoran: **I HEARD that.

**Review Responses**

**Kokkoro no Ookami – **LOL! Thanks for the strawberries and chocolate dip, I LOVE those kind of posh food! xD At least this is only the FIRST kiss scene…just wait for the rest!

**xcadaverx – **Totally agree with you. Mighty evil twins! xD I really love them to death, I don't really like the fact that they're so evil, but you must be evil when you're executing an evil yet beneficial plan! xP

**Haru Itonami – **You didn't like Rin-chan?? **Rinali: **Mou…so mean… Don't worry Rin-chan, she likes you now!! xD You read **Chapter 7 – Snow Kiss **ten times, you must've been really bored. x3 Thanks though!

**olivia-yuymaxwell – **Thanks for thinking my fic is cute! x3 It's not actually supposed to be, it's Romance/Drama, but the drama's for later! You know, the cute fluffy parts of a story must come at the beginning, some drama later, then fall right back to fluff again! And yes, I'm SOOO for visual kei. The GazettE RULE!!!! So KAWAII…x3

**Aeriel Cross – **Hehe, thanks for the motivation! I'll try not to! (:

**KiraLacus Forever – **Ohh yeah, I'm a sucker for getting ideas from doujinshi. They're pretty bloody cute!! x3 Normal manga is great for ideas too, such as Kiss Kiss. xP Kanda and Allen are so gonna be KandAre pretty soon…watch out for it! xD

**Pathia Jade – **Ooh…I hope I won't die…I'm getting so spurred on by the motivation of reviews!! Thanks for your sympathy…my Math is over now!! (x

**Sailorlight22 – **O.o What's MOAR?? And k/a withdrawal sounds like KandAre withdrawal…xD…sometimes I get THAT! x3

**scintillating – **Thanks for the support, yeahs? But my exams are over and I'm giving the R&&Rers what they deserve…a new chapter!! (: Evil twins are at go again! xD

**Tuli-Susi – **LOL! You don't know what The GazettE is?! Darling, go to Google Images and type in The GazettE and you'll be drooling in no time. Guaranteed. x3

**Layhe – **Uh-huh! Kanda's not a kissing virgin anymore! Whoa, the way I make it sound, it's as if HE is the uke…scary…an uke Kanda for Allen is just freaky, at least for me. O.O How could you not like Andy and Kan-chan?! LOL. Actually I understand 'cuz they're OCs and not everyone likes OCs because they could either be Mary or Gary Sues. But I'm glad you like them now! xP Lavi and Rinali appreciate your glomp too!

**The8thSin – **OMG, you've got the visual kei fever too? I'm so glad I managed to convert you. xD The GazettE just ROCKS. Go to YouTube and you'll be a melted puddle for sure! I sure did yesterday! x3

**Sleepy-chan – **Ne, I'm so happy that you even bothered to review me, so don't worry about creating an account or favouriting! I'm glad you like the humour, I actually SUCK at humour. :x

**Syaoran: **And for all you The GazettE fans, I found this utterly kawaii interview at YouTube and guess what's the topic? Uruha's sexy legs! xD Just go to YouTube and type in "Uruha's sexy legs REVEALED" and it'll have you laughing so hard your sides WILL split.

**Tyki: **I see that you haven't gotten better from your fever yet.

**Syaoran: **Nope, WORSE! I'm in love with Aoi now too! At first I didn't because of his mouth piercing…but I ADORE him now! All of them! –hearts && sparkles-

**Tyki: **Huh…I really don't see what's so nice about visual kei…and you don't own D.Gray-Man.

**Syaoran: **Tyki, Lavi's hair without his headband is as good as Ruki's hairstyle. And STOP STARING AT HIS ASS LIKE YOU OWN IT, FOR GOD'S SAKE. No, not Ruki, Lavi!!

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . N i n e – A n g e r .**

Lavi walked along the grounds of Headquarters, whistling boredly to himself. '_Yuu-chan should be back by now…where is he?_'

Suddenly, a Finder ran up to him, looking very harassed. "Lavi-san!" he said breathlessly.

"Ehh?" Lavi blinked at him. "You…you're the Finder who went with Yuu-chan on the mission, right?"

"Yes…" the Finder panted. "Kanda-san would kill me if he found out but he's in a terrible condition, Lavi-san…"

**x X X x**

"Allen!!" Rinali yelled.

"What?" Allen asked in surprise.

"Kanda's back!" Rinali yelled.

"S-so…?"

"He's _hurt!_"

**x X X x**

Lavi supported Kanda with a worried look on his face. "Hey, dude…are you okay? I've never seen you like this before!" the redhead said.

"Shut…up…" Kanda mumbled, without even able to open his eyes. He didn't even realize that he was placing his entire weight onto Lavi.

Lavi blinked down at him. '_How did he get in such bad shape? He's usually so focused and…and…'_

The Bookman-to-be froze. Could it be possible that Rinali's prediction was coming true?

"Lavi!" Rinali's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. The Chinese was running towards him, accompanied by Allen at her heels.

"What _happened_?" Allen cried, staring at Kanda in horror. "You're not usually this weak!"

Kanda's eyes slowly, murderously opened, having found the strength that could only be instilled by the insult of an enemy.

"I am NOT weak. I just wasn't…concentrating…at least I didn't screw the mission up like the way YOU always do…_Moyashi_…" he hissed.

Allen's hackles rose instantly and he shuddered with anger.

"Bastard…here I was actually _worried _about you because of your injury…" he muttered.

Rinali's and Lavi's ears pricked up, but Allen was already stomping away in a huff.

"Mou, Kanda," the Chinese girl sighed impatiently. "Can't you and Moya—I mean, Allen-kun—stop fighting for just a minute? You're seriously hurt and you want to pick a fight with him!"

"I live to fight with him," Kanda scowled.

"But you survived pretty fine when he wasn't around," Lavi said reasonably. "Naa, let's get you to your room. You're fucking heavy for a pretty-bo—KIDDING!" Even in such a serious condition, Kanda could still point Mugen's sharp tip at Lavi's neck.

"What happened anyways?" Rinali asked as they supported the staggering samurai to his room.

"Stupid…fucking…Level 2…Akuma," Kanda mumbled.

"So…" Rinali considered. "The Akuma fought you and apparently your Kaichu Ichigen didn't exactly work as well as it ought to this time and it caught you off-guard and made you lose your already deteriorating concentration?"

Kanda blinked at her. "How did you know that?"

"Doujinshi," Lavi replied with a snicker.

"Shh!" the Chinese shushed him fiercely, a pink blush staining her cheeks.

"But you were already losing your concentration? What were you wasting it on?" Lavi asked Kanda with interest as they finally reached his room and laid him on his bed.

"Nothing you should know," the dark-haired teen muttered darkly, turning away from them.

"PAPA!!"

"Oh no…"

Andy and Yuukan had entered the room at full speed. They looked shocked and at the same time kind of awed in a way.

"Papa Papa Papa Papa!!" Andy yelled. "See!! We TOLD you so! We _told _you that you would die!"

"So this body lying here is my dead talking corpse, huh?" Kanda asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Hnh? Oh, yeah, you're still alive," Yuukan said, blinking.

"Do I get a feeling that you're actually disappointed?"

Yuukan smirked. "Nahh, no such thing, Papa," he said fondly. "But how would we know how good you were at keeping yourself alive if we weren't there to watch it?"

"Che."

"By the way, boys, where's your Mama?" Lavi asked.

The twins frowned slightly.

"Um…" they exchanged looks. "Don't know."

Rinali raised an eyebrow. "Try and talk him around, 'kay?"

The twins gave her blank looks, then smirked and nodded. "Sure thing, Auntie Rinali."

**x X X x**

Allen glared at the ceiling, imagining that Kanda's pale, cold face was there, and he stuck out his tongue.

"Asshole…" he muttered. "I can't believe I was worried about you! What is happening to me?!"

He closed his eyes, willing himself to think of ever beating Kanda at his own game. He was always insulting Allen, so how would it be like for him to get a dose of his own medicine _and _feel hurt?

But the only thing that Allen could actually imagine was Kanda's tired expression when he was being supported by Lavi and Rinali, the pain in his half-lidded dark eyes, the disappointment etched deep in his features that he managed to get himself severely hurt.

'_Why were you so badly hurt? What were you thinking of?'_

"Mama?"

Allen opened his eyes and glanced over at the doorway to see the twins peeping in. They looked unnervingly innocent. But innocently serious too.

"What's wrong, boys?" he asked softly.

"Papa…" Yuukan replied as softly. "He's really hurt."

Allen frowned. "I don't care."

The twins exchanged worried glances, then entered the room.

"But Mama, he really looks as if he's in pain," Andy said.

"Papa's an actor, didn't you know that?" the cursed teen smiled bitterly at them.

"Mama, why're you being so harsh?"

Allen's bitter smile vanished slowly. "I'm not…"

'_I just don't want to acknowledge these weird feelings.'_

"Well, whatever," Andy said. "But let's just say Papa looks as if he's gonna keel over and die soon. It's not very pretty."

"I'll keep that in mind," Allen nodded. "For the time being, boys, I don't want to see him. Tell Lavi and Rinali that."

The twins nodded and left.

**x X X x**

"What?! You're serious?" Rinali said in shock.

"Yeah. Mama's really pissed off at Papa, but the feel's getting weird." Yuukan folded his arms.

"What do you mean?" asked Lavi.

"You know, Mama's always pissed off at Papa. But this time he seems a bit scared and different," Andy elaborated.

Rinali and Lavi exchanged glances.

"This is not good," Lavi said.

"Nope, you think?" Rinali snapped.

"Stop being so damn sarcastic. Now we've gotta think," the Bookman-to-be responded.

"No need to," the Chinese said.

"Why?"

"Remember what I told you, from the doujinshi? Kanda will fall sick. He doesn't fall sick straightaway but he does."

"So…" the guys looked at her as if she was just one big question mark.

"So…we wait."

* * *

**Syaoran: **Um, I know this chapter made no sense but it's because I'm not really feeling so good even if my feckin' exams are over. And I just wanted to show the slight drama side of this fic. Though the next chapter will DEFINITELY be cuter. Mark my words. The real drama will come much later. xP 


	10. Playing Nurse

**Syaoran: **Waii…gomenasai for another kinda slow update, guys…but after my exams was Hari Raya and yes…I am a Malay…so I have to celebrate the occasion! Seriously, I HATE Hari Raya worse than Kikyo in Inuyasha. No offense if there are any Kikyo lovers reading this story.

**Lavi: **And the Authoress's race is revealed at last. They were bound to know, Shasha-chan, don't be so worried.

**Syaoran: **But I thought I was able to update fine even if it IS Hari Raya!!

**Allen: **You…er…thought wrong, then, Miss Syaoran. –pats Syaoran's arm sympathetically-

**Syaoran: **WAII!! TT3TT Never mind, you R&&Rers understand, don'cha? At least I DO update…not like some feckin' writers who don't even have an apology for their poor readers.

**Other DGM characters present: **-nod in agreement-

**Gozu: **Syaoran-san!

**Syaoran: **Huh? Gozu?? What are YOU doing here???

**Gozu: **Isn't it obvious by now? To say you don't own D.Gray-Man.

**Syaoran: **O.o It's getting a bit weird…don't tell me the Earl will come too, eventually!!!

**Gozu: **Err…I don't know…I guess so?

**Syaoran: **WAIIIIII!!!!

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T e n – P l a y i n g . N u r s e .**

Lavi looked nervously at Allen. "Ehmmm…Allen…are you sure?"

Allen, with his face all stiff and haughty, nodded. "_Yes_."

"But…Yuu-chan…" Lavi said a bit helplessly.

"I do not care about the damned '_Yuu-chan_'," Allen hissed. "Can we just GET ON with the game already? It's been _halfway _and you're STILL asking!"

"Well, of course! Even if YOU don't care about him and throwing your hissy fit, _I _do because I'm his best friend…even if _he _won't admit it," the Bookman-to-be sighed.

"Will you shut up about Kanda already? I kinda have to agree with Allen-kun on this. Kanda's fine, he's got an amazing healing ability and besides, the twins offered to check on him every few minutes while playing 'Truth or Dare' with us," Rinali interrupted.

Lavi pouted. "Okay, whatever. Blame the guy with the heart, now."

"Oh Lavi…you only want to try and force medicine down Kanda's throat like the _last _time he ever, ever got sick…" Rinali sighed.

"Huh? Kanda was _sick _before?? When???" Allen asked, blinking.

"Oh, it was ages ago. When I was about twelve or so, the time I came to the Order," the Chinese girl smiled nostalgically. "As soon as both Kanda and Lavi arrived, Kanda was sick. It was the first, and I thought it was the last time I'd see him sick."

"Well, you were wrong…thanks to _a-hem_…" Lavi said meaningfully. Rinali smirked when Allen looked from him to her with a puzzled expression.

"Thanks to what?" he asked.

"You'll find out soon," Rinali assured sweetly. _'Soon after you fall hard for Kanda, that is.'_

"So anyway, Lavi here somehow or other became practically Kanda's dog, I don't know why, he just always stuck to him so faithfully. And when he found out Kanda was sick, he insisted on being his personal nurse. Last time I walked in on them to see if Kanda'd killed him yet, Lavi was almost choking him to get the medicine down his throat."

Lavi smiled sheepishly while Allen giggled. "Wow…would've loved to see the expression on his face!"

"I saw it, but too bad I didn't get my trusty digicam at that time," Rinali grinned.

"He's still okay!" the twins suddenly ran into the room. "But he's getting a bit restless."

"Restless is fine, so long as he doesn't just leap out and go train in fury like he tried to," Lavi said. "Okay, sit, sit, we've gotta continue the game."

"Whose turn was it to spin?" asked Allen. "Oh—mine."

He leaned forward and spun the bottle.

Yes, the five of them were playing Truth or Dare to pass the time. Since there were currently no missions to carry out (amazingly), the only thing to kill time was to play games.

The bottle landed on Andy. "Um…truth."

"So tell me, Andy," Lavi said. "Is it true you and Yuukan did…_stuff…_back in that secret room?"

Andy blushed. "_Yes_," he hissed. "But it's not as hentai as what you've shown us, Uncle Lavi, so cool it already."

"Oh phooey, and I thought I had a chance to prove the Authoress wrong," Lavi pouted. "Whatever."

Andy spun the bottle and it landed onto Allen.

"Why me again?!"

"Accept fate, Allen-kun," Rinali smiled. "What'll it be, boy?"

"Dare…" Allen said a bit hesitantly. "Because I chose Truth so many times."

"Good answer!" Lavi smirked. "Andy?"

Andy looked at his mother carefully, a sadistic smirk playing at his lips. "Um…Uncle Lavi, can I keep this Dare?" he asked.

"K-k-keep it?" Allen stammered.

"Yeah. You said for this game players are allowed to keep their Dares," Andy said to Lavi.

"Well, he's right. The rules this time round do state so," Rinali nodded.

"Yeah, so you can keep your Dare," Lavi said.

"YAY!" Andy cheered. He turned to Yuukan and whispered something excitedly in his ear. Yuukan blinked, then he smirked and high-fived his twin.

"Andy, you're a real genius, ya know that?!" he said.

"Somehow I don't think I'll like this," Allen muttered.

**x X X x**

About half an hour later, when the twins had gone back to their father, they suddenly flew back into the room.

"Mama!! Uncle Lavi!! Auntie Rinali!!" they panted.

"What?! What happened?!" Lavi yelled.

"Papa! _Severe _fever!!" the twins shouted together.

Lavi and Rinali exchanged glances. So doujinshi _does _come true sometimes, Rinali's eyes were saying with an evil glint.

"I WANNA USE MY DARE NOW!!" Andy yelled.

'_Yes!_' Rinali and Lavi mentally whooped. They grinned at the twins, who smirked back.

"What'll the Dare be, boys?" Rinali asked, like she asked Allen.

"Mama has to tend to Papa," Andy said slowly and clearly, the sadistic smile on his face widening. "AH! Wait, I'm not done!"

The others waited in anticipation. "In Auntie Rinali's nurse outfit, French maid style!!"

"_What?!_" Allen yelped.

"Oh my GOD, Andy-chan, I LOVE you!" Rinali squealed, glomping the dark-haired twin. And for once, Andy didn't protest at all.

"You have a _nurse outfit_?! FRENCH MAID style?!?!" Allen gaped at the Chinese girl.

"Uh-huh. I wore it last year for the Order's Halloween party," Rinali grinned. "It'll fit you _just _fine, Allen-kun! You're exactly about my size last year! You'll look BEAUTIFUL!"

"No…nonono…you're not serious, are you?!" the cursed teen said in doom.

"We are _deadly _serious, Moyashi-chan…" Lavi said, his eyes going wide and his maniacal grin nearly tumbling off his face.

'_I am going to die._'

**x X X x**

Kanda, in his bed, was moving restlessly.

Ever since the fever had suddenly swept upon him with a vengeance and without any warning whatsoever, not only was he even more eager to get out of the room, but he felt extremely, extremely…

HOT.

Well, sad to say for the readers, not hot as in the _dirty _hot. He was literally on fire.

When the twins had come in, they took one look at him, glanced at each other and fled.

'_Do I look scary_?'

Kanda knew that Lavi would be pouncing in and he'd go through with his threat of handcuffing him to the headboard of the bed if he were to get out of the room, since he and Rinali already confiscated his Mugen. Though HOW they did that before he'd gotten his hands on them, he wasn't sure.

So he had to stay there.

And wait.

Because for sure _someone _would come in and try to force medicine down his throat again. And since he felt even more weak now, he probably wouldn't have the strength to punch the person senseless.

What the FUCK happened to his amazing healing ability?!

Just as Kanda thought he was going to _explode _and scream at the top of his lungs, there was a soft, almost hesitant knock at the door.

Kanda blinked. No one ever knocked his door like that. Not even Rinali, supposedly the most gentle in the Order. '_Pfft. If she's gentle, I'd've already made doomsday come_.'

The door slowly opened.

Kanda tried to look at the person in the doorway, but the beads of perspiration building up on his forehead chose that moment to slide down into his eyes, momentarily blurring his vision.

"Fuck…" he cursed angrily, reaching up and rubbing at his eyes furiously.

"Don't curse."

Kanda blinked again and he looked over. And his jaw dropped.

Standing in the doorway was Allen Walker. The exact reason why he was this ill now—because he'd been so busy thinking of the cursed teen.

_In a nurse's outfit._

It was familiar to Kanda, even as he stared at Allen as if he'd just spotted the most miraculous thing to ever occur in the world. '_Rinali's Halloween costume last year…'_

Fuck. _Fuck. _**Fuck. **Fuck.

Perhaps it was needless to say that Allen looked _oh so _enticingly dainty in the very, very, very feminine outfit. Though it suited him oh so well.

Allen looked nervous, almost embarrassed as he slowly entered the room and approached Kanda's bed. The stunned samurai could only stare. And stare. And stare.

"Are you feeling better?" Allen asked softly, leaning forward to touch Kanda's forehead.

At his touch, it was as if a searing heat had been pressed against his skin. Kanda recoiled almost instantly, wincing. Allen blinked, worry deep in his grey eyes.

"Okay, maybe it's a no," he said, still in a very soft voice. It killed Kanda to hear it.

"Why are you…" he rasped. "…wearing _this_?!"

Allen looked startled. A blush spread over his cheeks, the redness that nearly made Kanda go crazy.

"Don't ask. I'm going to have to tend to you for today," he said gently.

"Why are you speaking so softly?" Kanda hissed. "It's…it's unbearable."

"I can't raise my voice," Allen murmured. "If I do…huh, I don't know what'll happen to me."

'_You also don't know what'll happen to you if you maintain that tone…do you know just how _seductive _you sound?! Even if you don't fucking know it!!_'

Kanda bit his lip. Where did _that _come from?

"Open your mouth," Allen instructed, holding out a thermometer. Kanda, already so dazed, did as he was told and his 'nurse' inserted it. Kanda's dark eyes continued watching Allen, in half wariness and half…wonder.

Allen felt a bit uncomfortable at the samurai's intense gaze. '_I know I look like a damn drag queen, you don't have to stare at me like that!_' he felt like shouting. But he couldn't. Lavi and Rinali would TORTURE him if he raised his voice.

The thermometer made a little sound and Allen hastened to check it. Oh God. It was a seriously high fever.

"What did you do, Kanda?" he whispered as he searched for the medicine inside the box he'd brought with him.

"H-huh?" Kanda asked in a strange, very un-Kanda-ish voice. As if he'd lost all his memories.

"On the mission," Allen elaborated. "Why did you get yourself in such a situation? What were you thinking of, for God's sake?"

Kanda's eyes glinted at his last question. He narrowed them and struggled slightly to sit up. Allen drew back a tiny bit, a bit wary of this suddenly energetic samurai.

"Do you want to know _who_ I was thinking of?" Kanda whispered harshly.

"Um…" Allen blinked nervously. It was a _who, _not a what? He was a bit afraid of what Kanda's next move was, but hell, he wasn't afraid of _him_. So he decided to take the risk. "Yes, I do want to know."

"Are you sure?" Kanda leaned forward slowly.

"Y-yes," Allen nodded. Since when was Kanda's face so close??

"It was…" Kanda whispered. Allen swallowed slightly. Shit, his lips were just inches from his.

It was when their noses were practically touching did Kanda reveal the last word. "_You._"

"Me…?" Allen murmured, already dazed by the close proximity.

Kanda smirked. "Who else, Moyashi?"

And he kissed him.

Outside the room, the four scheming matchmakers were silently whooping their heads off. And Rinali was busy snapping photographs.

"I love the world today…" she sighed happily.

* * *

**Syaoran: **So do I! I love the world! –laughs deliriously- Please oh mighty R&&Rers, please let this chapter of insane fluffiness sustain your addiction to the story for the time being.

**Allen: **-blushing really REALLY hard-

**Lavi: **YOU ENJOYED IT YOU ENJOYED IT YOU DID YOU DID ENJOY IT!!

**Kanda: **-blushing also, points Mugen at Lavi-

**Lavi: **Eeek! Okay, okay, I'll shut up now.

**Twins: **MAMA AND PAPA DID IT!!!!! YAAAAAY!!!!


	11. Sexuality Is A Virtue For Allen

**Syaoran: **AAAAAAAH. Okay, I'm so sorry for not updating for NEARLY a month. But it's my stupid INTERNET!! It broke down!! Thank Kami that I have a very generous, lovable aniki who allows me to use his laptop. n.n But it's just for temporary use anyways.

I can't do Review Responses right now, I have to be fast. Okay? x3 Gomenasai people…

**Miranda: **Eto…Syaoran-san…you don't own—

**Syaoran: **D.Gray-Man. Yeah, I know, and I'm MISERABLE about that. I wish I were Hoshino-sama!! Argh!!

**Miranda: **Don't shoot the messenger! I'm supposed to be unlucky, not _dead _too!!

**Syaoran: **O.o Relax, Miranda-chan. I won't kill you. Sigh. Oh yeahs! Sankyuu so much to **Crystalstar-Suteki **for being the 100th reviewer!! Arigatou, it made me so fkin' delirious when I saw it. Please mighty R&&Rers, bless this humble Authoress with at least 150 reviews? n.n It's the FIRST time I got so much for a story!

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s**

**C h a p t e r . E l e v e n – S e x u a l i t y . I s . A . V i r t u e . F o r . A l l e n**

Kanda suddenly seemed to realize what he was doing. He pulled away quickly, a light blush staining his usually pale cheeks.

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that," he mumbled, turning away. Allen, who was already more dazed than a kid on a roller coaster ride, couldn't even find the words to reply. First of all, Kanda Yuu had kissed him out of his probably own free will and secondly, the same Kanda Yuu had apologized to him. Two miracles to happen in the time frame of about two seconds.

"K-Kanda…you…are you all right?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch the samurai on the arm, but he pulled away.

"I'm fine. I'm just sick as you very well know. Are you done? I want to rest," Kanda said gruffly, pointedly glaring out of the window.

Allen shook his head mutely and turned to the medicine box to get out a bottle of liquid medicine. He felt a weird emotion in his heart. To his horror, he realized it was disappointment.

'_I'm…disappointed…? Why am I feeling this way? I'm actually disappointed that Kanda doesn't seem to…want to kiss me?'_

'**Allen Walker, stop being gay,**' Allen berated himself. '**You're having weird thoughts…about **_**Kanda Yuu **_**of all people!! Stop it!!**'

'_What if I don't want to?' _the voice in his head challenged him.

'**Oh shut up. You HAVE to.**'

Once Allen was assured that the insane voices in his head had disappeared, he held out the spoon of medicine to Kanda.

"Open your mouth again," he said softly.

Kanda looked towards the spoon and did the weirdest thing. He pouted slightly before opening his mouth.

'_That was so CUTE! Like a cat!_' Allen's inner voice raved.

'**I-I know…WAIT! No, I am NOT gay! Stop it, you stupid voice!**'

'_I _am _you, idiot Moyashi, and I think I know very well that I'm gay, so _you _shut up._'

Allen bit his lip as he eased the spoon into Kanda's mouth. _Stupid voices. _They weren't gonna affect him. He may be a mother to two adorably evil twin boys but he is SOOO not gay.

Or is he lying to himself? ARGH, NO!

Kanda swallowed the medicine and unconsciously made a face at the bitterness. This time Allen really couldn't help it. He turned away and pretended to be busy keeping away the medicine to hide the fact that he was trying his best not to laugh.

Kanda, meanwhile, after getting over the yucky taste of the medicine, looked over to Allen, wondering why the hell he was wearing such a dress.

Then his dark eyes roamed over the younger teenager's body, almost as if they were caressing him. Kami, Allen had _such _a good body. The dress suited him so well that it manipulated the mind, making Allen's body look almost curvaceous. Kanda vaguely wondered how he'd look like _without _a shirt…oh, and preferably without anything on…and handcuffed to the bed…

"Kanda? Kanda!"

"What?" Kanda blinked, jolting back to reality. Allen was staring at him.

"You're nosebleeding," he said blankly, pointing.

"What the _hell_?" Kanda gasped as he realized that a not-so-thin stream of the dark metallic-smelling liquid was slowly dripping off his chin.

"Here, take these," Allen offered him a wad of tissues, which he took after a moment's embarrassed hesitation. But within seconds the entire wad had become bloodily red.

Kanda looked at Allen. Allen looked at Kanda.

Something inside Kanda snapped.

"G-GAH! Give some respect to your fe—I mean masculinity and get the hell out of _that!_" the samurai sputtered before leaping off the bed and dashing out.

Allen blinked, looked down, blushed hard and got up slowly. "Err…maybe he's right…" he muttered to himself, heading for the door, not noticing that the four that put him up to this were snickering like hyenas and leaning back against the wall.

* * *

**Syaoran: **I KNOW THE CHAPTER WAS SHORT!! I'M SORRY!!! But I have no time anymore, my time is limited!! So please review for this chapter, and I won't blame you if you want to flame me for giving you a chapter shorter than Edward Elric. TT-TT GOMENASAI!! 


	12. Stupidity Of Denial

**Lavi: **Shasha-chan's in a very good mood. Good enough to update quite early.

**Syaoran: **Yes!! Even if my damned Internet is down!! I will prevail!! Muahaha!!

**Rinali: **Eh, Syaoran-kun? The story?

**Syaoran: **Hmm? Oh, of course. Sorry! But hold it.

**Review Responses**

**love is but an element – **Aww, thanks a lot for your support! Though I have NO intention of ever abandoning this fic. Are you crazy?! This is my most valuable fanfic so far!! I can't abandon it, nuh-uh!! But I really don't feel that it's a masterpiece…I'm no artist, see? (x Thanks anyway!

**xcadaverx **– And I love ya too for your support! xP Oh sure, angry Allen is always dangerous. But in a very, very cute way!

**The8thSin – **Allen isn't really in denial, his new "Black Side" (a.k.a the annoying perverted voice) is going to overpower him soon enough! xD I love leaving suspense in my wake, excuse me for my procrastination. My cousin just got a black cat that is kinda grumpy, so I begged her to name it Kanda! xP Kanda's very cute…especially when he's in a good mood, which is RARE. :x

**KiraLacus Forever – **Yeah!! Kanda snapped!! Behold my wonderful writing power!! Muahaha-- -Kanda threatens Syaoran with Mugen- Meep! Sorry… Anyways, Edward _did _hear me and I'm currently on the run from him…I shall never tease him again! –fingers crossed behind back-

**An Angel Flying with broken wings **– I'ma loving teasing him about his nosebleed, ya know. I seriously have a death wish…--;

**buchouslvr **– Oh, you bet! This is still on my aniki's laptop though, sadly…But I shall make the chapter longer, of course! How can I not, for my wonderful blessed R&&Rers? xD

**Sailorlight22 **– No, thank _you! _(: I don't mind going through the trouble, I love giving the R&&Rers what they want!

**Pay Backs a Bitch **– Ohh, you'd LOVE to see that, wouldn'tcha? A handcuffed Allen…I've always tried to imagine that, but end up getting a bit too horny for my liking, dammit. Y-yes, this chapter is…longer…hopefully…don't kill me PLEASE:x

**scintillating – **Thanks, I hope I'll be able to fix the damn Internet! Gah! Kanda is really trying his best not to kill me right now…Allen-kun, help me out! **Allen: **Do I look capable of doing anything when Kanda's like this? **Syaoran: **Yes…go to bed with him, DUH!! **Allen: **O.O;

**FireNose – **(; Of course, who wouldn't be able to resist a smexy Allen? xP

**Evrae Valkyrion **– O.O Super interesting name, I must say. Where did you get it from?? Hehes, anyway, thanks for the review, all my reviews are appreciated, including yours!

**Stoic-Genius – **Hehe, thanks for the review! Okay, seriously, I don't think I suck that much at humour after all. xD But remember, guys, the genre is Romance/Drama, and you'll see why quite soon!

**obsession14-c **– Because anime is anime and you can create the nosebleeds whenever you want if you're the artist! xP But I _did _get a nosebleed once when I saw this really hot anime guy without his shirt on…HAWTNESS! xP

**Haru Itonami **– I love Allen's new Black Side. xP Comes from my overly hentai imagination! (;

**Yuki342 **– Yeps, Kanda nosebleeding is DEFINITELY a humorous topic, ne? xD

**Pathia Jade **– Thanks for reassuring me…Tyki _will _have his way with Lavi pretty soon. Just be patient, okay, dude? Just keep concentrated on the story! (;

**olivia-yuymaxwell – **I feel so guilty about the fact that it's so SHORT. Well I hope this chapter makes up for it, ne? ;D

**Miyazaki Sayuri **– Thanks for the review and support! xP There'll be more for sure!

**Bookman: **Young lady! You do not own D.Gray-Man as you very well know, so why are you still writing fanfiction about it?

**Syaoran: **O.O; Isn't that _why _I don't own D.Gray-Man?

**Bookman: **Eh?

**Lavi: **Panda, just shut up before you embarrass yourself.

**Bookman: **How dare you tell me to shut up, you idiot apprentice! –kicks Lavi-

**Warning: My geography of Europe sucks so some of the places that are mentioned don't even exist. Hope you don't mind.**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e l v e – S t u p i d i t y . O f . D e n i a l .**

Allen sighed with relief as he looked at himself in the mirror, having already ripped off that ridiculously girly outfit and wearing his usual clothes. But the annoying voice in his head suddenly butted in.

'_Ne, Moyashi…'_

'**Don't call me Moyashi! You're me, and you're annoyed too that you're called Moyashi, right?!**'

'_I'm not _really _you…well I am but I'm not as beansprout-like as you, I hope.'_

Allen made a face. Why was he even having this voice in his head anyway? Voices in the head are supposed to be on _his _side!!

'_No, I'm your conscience, idiot. Consciences are not the equal of the idiot himself._'

'**Stop calling me idiot. It's like having a Kanda chatterbox in my head.**'

'_Speaking of Kanda…_'

'**I'M WARNING YOU. CONSCIENCES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GAY UNLESS THE IDIOT—I MEAN PERSON—IS GAY.**'

'…_You _ARE _gay_.'

Allen stared at his reflection. The reflection seemed to be raising his eyebrow back at him, looking as if he was the dumbest creature on earth.

'**When did I say I was gay?**' he said.

The reflection sighed impatiently. '_No one _says _they are gay unless they're as insane as Lavi,_' he said. '_Deep down inside you're as gay as that red-haired rabbit._'

'**But I do not like Kanda!**' Allen argued.

'_Excuses, excuses…' _his reflection said mockingly.

Allen shook his head vigorously and gazed into the mirror again. A frustrated-looking, harried person looked back. The 'Black Allen' was gone.

Allen turned away, confused. '**Am I really gay??**'

**x X X x**

As Allen walked down the corridor, Lavi and the twins caught up with him. Allen was about to confront them about the French-maid style nurse outfit matter but stopped when Lavi approached him with a serious expression.

"Ne, Allen! We've gotta go to Komui's office," he said.

"Why?" Allen asked.

"Well duh. We've got a mission," Lavi said. "And it's apparently a tough one. You and I are going. Err, including the twins, that makes five."

"The twins are coming?? If it's so tough, why must they come? It'll be dangerous!" the cursed teen said worriedly, immediately thinking of possible horrors of what might happen to the two young, immature boys. In the process he completely forgot what he was going to say to Lavi.

"Che, we'll be fine, Mama," Yuukan said smugly. He clutched at his katana tighter. "You worry too much. We may be five, but we're stronger than you think, ya know."

Obviously Allen wouldn't believe those words so easily, but he just smiled at the bravado of his little boy.

Then he froze.

"Did you say all _five _of us were going?" he asked Lavi.

"Yeah, why?" the Bookman-to-be said distractedly, more focused on brisk-walking towards Komui's office.

He pushed the door open and they walked in. Kanda was there.

"Kanda…" Allen said in surprise. "But you're sick! Why are you going?"

"I'm healed," Kanda responded.

Allen blinked. _'So fast?!_'

"Behold Yuu-chan's mighty healing power," Lavi grinned. "Don't bother arguing with him, Komui, he'll go no matter what you say."

"Well, all right," Komui sighed, apparently regretting wasting his breath on trying to persuade Kanda _out _of going on the mission.

"So what's the deal, Komui-san?" asked Allen. He was still thinking of what might happen to the twins.

"Well," Komui said, consulting some notes. "According to a Finder, there is unusual activity somewhere in Lynnfa. Mysterious deaths are occurring, most likely unruly Akuma. But there is a rather large amount of them judging by how quickly many villages are getting wiped out."

"Ooh," the twins said together. Komui glanced over at them, fondness clear in his eyes.

"Are you boys sure you want to go?" he asked. "It's not very good for young boys like you to be out in such dangerous conditions…"

"Yes we want to go, Komui-san!" Andy said, pouting. "We're not so little at heart! Besides, it'll probably be fun."

"Yes, I suppose," Komui looked at Allen and Kanda cheekily. "I trust that your _parents_ will be able to take care of you safely."

Allen blushed while Kanda looked away with a huff.

"Don't worry. Even if they don't, Uncle Lavi to the rescue!" Lavi smirked. Seeing the weirded-out expression on Komui's face prompted him to add hastily, "But I know what's on your mind, Komui, relax—I _will _let the family have their quality time."

"Good, then," Komui grinned. "Well, have a safe journey. Especially you two, Kan-chan, Andy-chan!" The twins smiled innocently.

"Yay, we're going on a mission, we're going on a mission!" they both cheered on the way out of the room.

Kanda mumbled something inaudible.

"What was that, Yuu?" Lavi asked, puzzled.

"This is going to be the most embarrassing mission I've ever done," Kanda repeated tensely.

"You're just saying that because you've got a pride bigger than your whole body," Allen remarked.

"Oh really? I'll have you know, Moyashi, that my pride has become a lot less now that I've been doing so many stupid things lately," Kanda snapped.

"Since when is it _my _fault?" Allen shot back, feeling very brave all of a sudden.

"When did I say it was?" the samurai returned icily. "It's the twins."

"What did _we _do?" Andy asked, frowning up at his grumpy-faced father.

"You existed," Kanda said. "If you didn't, my pride would be intact."

"That's the beauty of our existence, Papa," Yuukan said, smirking widely. "No one should be so proud. Besides…if we didn't exist…another miracle wouldn't happen."

"And what's that?" the samurai asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You'll find out soon," the twins chanted.

Kanda just let out a soft "Che."

"Oh Papa, we know you love us," Andy suddenly said as he gazed adoringly up at Kanda. The dark-haired teen's eye twitched.

"I don't love you," he said. "I don't love anyone."

"U-so-tsu-ki," Yuukan chanted absently.

Kanda made a noise between an exasperated choke and a hiss. "I don't!"

"What's usotsuki?" Allen whispered to Lavi. Like the Bookman-to-be, he was enjoying the scenario of a father and his two evil sons.

"Liar," Lavi replied.

"Oh…"

"You do," Yuukan was saying quietly. "It's pretty obvious. Well, we _are _your little boys, so you have to love us."

"You're _not _my boys," Kanda said. "I'm only eighteen and I _do not _have a wife. Let alone a _girlfriend_."

"'Course not," Andy said. "You have a _boyfriend_."

Both Allen and Kanda choked.

"W-what? We may be your parents but we are _not _together!" Allen spluttered.

"Yeah, what he said!" Kanda added.

The twins shook their heads and sighed, exchanging glances with Lavi. "You still don't get it…"

"Get what?!"

Lavi sighed too. '_Well boys, looks like we've gotta do Operation Matchmaking even on this mission, ne?_'

The twins could tell what he was thinking because they nodded almost regretfully. But inwardly, they knew they were gonna have FUUUN…

* * *

**Syaoran: **Not much humour this time round…Because DRAMA's a-coming!

**Lavi: **Dang, I hate drama when it means putting off from making Allen and Yuu-chan do the dirty…

**Allen: **What are you talking about?! Do the dirty…-shudders-


	13. Something Not For Little Boys

**

* * *

Allen: **-trying best to drag Syaoran in the room- 

**Rinali: **Syaoran-kun, do you know that you haven't updated **Boys Will Be Boys **for maybe over three weeks?

**Syaoran: **Mmphf? Really…? –half-asleep-

**Allen: **Yes…the twins were seriously thinking of playing a trick on you in punishment, ya know.

**Syaoran: **-suddenly wakes up- They wouldn't dare! I'm their creator!! Even if _you _are their mother! –starts mumbling under breath-

**Lavi: **Dakara saa…will you please UPDATE?! For the sake of the R&&Rers!!

**Syaoran: **Mou…okay…sorry guys, for not being diligent and updating…for some PMS-ing reasons I lost a bit of interest in **BWBB**. GOMENASAI! TT-TT But I'm back, and that's what counts, ne?!

**Mimi: **Syaoran…err…sama…

**Syaoran: **You're a maid, of course you address me that way, even if your mistress is Lulubell! Okay, say what you're gonna say.

**Mimi: **You don't own D.Gray-Man, Syaoran-sama! Sorry about that, Syaoran-sama! I know that if you owned D.Gray-Man there'll be harmony among Exorcists and the Noah family, Syaoran-sama!

**Lavi: **You're giving me a headache, Mimi.

**Mimi: **Ehhh…gomenasai Master Lavi…I mean, Lavi-san…Lulubell-sama will kill me for saying that…

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . ****T h i r t e e n – S o m e t h i n g . ****N o t . F o r . L i t t l e . B o y s ' . I m a g i n a t i o n s .**

It was unexpectedly quiet in the train.

After the customary crashing on the roof of the train and then entering their own compartment ("Jeez, Yuu-chan, haven't you heard of _stations_?!"), the twins became immersed in a hushed conversation that Allen had no clue what about, Lavi became uncharacteristically silent as he gazed out of the window, Kanda just stared straight ahead with a scowl on his face and his arms folded, and Allen wasn't sure what to do with all the silence.

"Hey," Yuukan suddenly said. The one simple word brought everyone out of their supposed trance.

"Yeah? What've you got, Kan-chan?" Lavi asked.

"Let's play something," the silver-haired chibi samurai said, gazing up at his parents.

"Play what?" Allen asked.

Andy smiled. "How about poker?"

And a deck of cards suddenly appeared out of nowhere into his hand.

Everyone glanced at it, the atmosphere suddenly changed.

"Poker…are you sure?" Allen asked, his expression perfectly blank, but there was a sudden glint in his eyes.

"Oh yeah," Yuukan nodded. "Great idea. But let's up the excitement a bit, shall we?"

"Exactly what do you mean by that?" Kanda asked abruptly, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, well," the long-haired little prodigy smirked. "I was thinking, maybe…ya know…_strip _poker?"

There was a collective intake of breath from the surrounding teens. Lavi was beginning to smile sadistically, Kanda's eyebrow arched higher and Allen's expression had become, in a way, evil.

"Are you…serious?" was all Kanda could say. For some reason, he was getting wary of the weird look on Moyashi's face. And he knew he was behaving insanely OOC, but really, that look was creepy…

"Papa, since when have we not been serious?" Andy asked innocently, beginning to flick the cards from one hand to the other expertly. _Where _did he learn to do that?! And he was only five too!

Kanda merely muttered "Che" as he watched Andy's actions.

"Count me in," Allen said instantly.

The twins smirked. "Any others?"

"I'm for it, too," Lavi said. He turned to Kanda with an impossibly wide grin, one that could almost rival the Earl's. "How 'bout you, Yuu?"

The samurai couldn't very well say no when everyone's eyes were boring into him like that. "Whatever."

"Rules, rules…" Yuukan said delicately. He immediately glanced at Allen. "_No _cheating, Mama. For every time you cheat, you'll have to lose an article of your clothing. Either Uncle Lavi's or Papa's choice."

The smile on Allen's face fell. "What?!"

"Well, we play according to fairness after all," Andy said, smiling blithely. "And you are _never _fair, Mama. Not from what Uncle Lavi told us, ne?"

The death glare that Allen sent Lavi was so Kanda-worthy that the redhead wondered whether they privately got married already.

"But it's true! Remember that guy on the train playing strip with poor Kuro-chan?" Lavi said. "The one with the weird swirly spectacles?"

"Oh, yeah," Allen said as he remembered. "Well, so what?! I had to save Krory, didn't I?"

"You were the bad guy," Lavi pouted. "Because you were cheating that dude and his friends so much they were only in boxers by the time you were done, and you didn't even take off so much as a shoe."

"Hehe…it's just something I picked up from Shishou…" Allen smiled modestly.

"Yeah, yeah. So no cheating this time, okay? By the way, come to think of it, the guy with the specs looked weird but he's got a good body, ne?" Lavi grinned.

"Hentai!" the twins both stuck out their tongues in disgust. Allen just blinked, his face a question mark.

"Pervert," Kanda supplied gruffly.

Allen looked at him, then the word seemed to hit him and he turned to Lavi, also in disgust. "Oh God, Lavi! _Him_, a good body?! You're seriously weird," he said.

"I'm not! Don't deny it, he _was _pretty hot," the Bookman-to-be defended himself.

"Why are we talking about him anyway? He was just a random guy on the train," Allen said, eager to get off the subject. Then he realized something. "Oh yeah. He gave me a pack of cards!"

"Those," Andy said, nodding his head towards the deck of cards he was holding.

"Oh," Allen blinked. Then he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Yeah, how did you get your hands on those, Andy-chan?"

"Magic trick," was the very helpful reply from the dark-haired beauty. (If Allen can be beautiful, why not a chibi lookalike with black hair?)

"Okay, are we playing or not?" Lavi asked impatiently. "Since Allen's not gonna cheat, me and Yuu'll probably get a higher chance of winning him, so come on!"

**x X X x**

"Whoa-kay, how did this happen?" Allen said in confusion.

The twins decided not to play because their bodies were "still far too innocent to be seen as something other than paedophilically by the more adult eye", so they were keeping watch for their mother's cheating habits. Currently, Lavi had his bandanna, scarf and coat removed, Kanda had his hairtie and coat gone, and Allen was no longer wearing his shoes, coat, red ribbon and vest, leaving him only in a white shirt and pants.

"What do you mean?" Lavi asked, busily checking his cards.

"I mean, how the hell did I get myself like this?" Allen whined. "I've _never _ever been stripped this far in my life! In fact, not even so much as take off _anything!_"

"Well, actually it wasn't really because Uncle Lavi or Papa won you, it's just that we caught you _cheating_," Yuukan said conversationally. "Apparently it's become a terrible habit for you, Mama. Look what it's got you to do."

"And we were stripped, why?" Lavi posed the question to the almighty judges known as Kanda Yuukan and Andy.

"Because Mama managed to win a few times without cheating," Andy replied simply. The twins glanced at each other, then said together, "Duh."

Lavi raised an eyebrow in slight annoyance and looked back at Allen, who was pouting.

"Don't be such a baby, Allen," he said. "You should learn humiliation the hard way…from your baby boys no less!"

The twins' right eyes twitched, but amazingly they made no move to strangle their perverted, idiotic, perfectly-unaware-he-said-anything-insulting-or-something-like-that redheaded uncle.

"All right then," Allen said, though he was very clearly not happy about this new rule made by the twins, "let's continue…"

**x X X x**

Andy and Yuukan, not being used to staying on a train for so long, had just left for a short while to stretch their legs. And when they got back, _this _was what they heard.

"Oh damn you Allen!"

"Well, since they're not here…OFF WITH IT. NOW."

"No way! They'll come back in a while! Yuu-chan, help me!"

"Why should I? It's not as if there's anything to see underneath that."

"MOU…you're so mean Yuu-chan! There _is _something to see! Something…not very…err…enjoyable to the young eye though…"

"Ew, Lavi, when you say that, you're making me regret this, but I wanna see! Now!"

"No!"

"Stop being such an ass and take it off. Don't make _me _do it."

This sentence, spoken oh so clearly by their father, made the twins freeze. "Oh God oh God oh God…they aren't doing what we think they're doing, right?!" Andy hissed to Yuukan.

His samurai twin was trembling slightly all over, eyes wider than wheels and his lips pressed so firmly together, they were almost bruised.

"I…I…I dunno…" was all he managed to say. "But…I don't wanna…see…I think…"

"I am not taking it off, and that's final." Lavi's voice sounded very determined.

"Che. Moyashi, I'll grab his arms to keep him still. You do it."

"Eh…me? Really?"

The silence most probably meant a death glare.

"O-okay then…"

"NOOOOO!! Let go of me Yuu!! NOW…!!"

The twins exchanged horrified looks.

"Oh my God." Allen's voice was hushed.

"…you weren't kidding when you said it wasn't for the young eye," Kanda added blankly.

"Put. It. Back. I. Am. Serious." The twins flinched hearing Lavi's voice taking on a note that promised a slow, painful death, and not just by his Nyoibo.

"Okay. It's back. Are you happy now? Jeez!"

"…I hate you."

"You damned rabbit. There's nothing under that eyepatch but your fucking _eye_ after all," Kanda snarled.

BANG.

"Eh? What was that?" Allen said in surprise, opening the compartment door and looking around.

"Moyashi," Kanda said in annoyance. "Look down."

Allen did just that. And he stared down at the twins' comatose bodies.

"EHHH?! They fell asleep out _here_?!"

* * *

**Syaoran: **-rolling on the floor with silent laughter-

**Yuukan&&Andy: **NIICHAN!!!! THAT WAS _NOT _FUNNY!!!!

**Rinali: **It _was_!! –laughing also-

**Yuukan&&Andy: **NO IT WASN'T!!!!

**Allen: **Seriously, Lavi. What did you teach them?!

**Lavi: **-smirks-


	14. Masquerade

**

* * *

Syaoran: **-trembling all over- 

**Lavi: **??

**Rinali: **Is she cold?

**Allen:** -sighs- No. She's…let's just say she's losing her mental innocence.

**Lavi&&Rinali: **?!?!

**Yuukan:** We'd be reading too, but Mama disallowed us already.

**Syaoran: **S-s-smut…

**Rinali: **-groans- Syaoran-kun is SERIOUSLY corrupted.

**Lulubell: **-frowns- Syaoran.

**Syaoran: **-still trembling- Y-yeah?

**Lulubell: **You do not own D.Gray-Man. And the smut fics you're reading. Whatever they are.

**Syaoran: **D-damn, how I wish… -shivers again-

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . ****F o u r t e e n – M a s q u e r a d e . **

Lavi took in a deep breath as he gazed around, impressed. "Ahh, Lynnfa…beautiful as always."

Allen also looked around, his jaw hanging. He'd never been to Lynnfa before, and it was just as Lavi had said; beautiful. It was almost idyllic, really—a fantasy land. Unfortunately the beauty of Lynnfa was stained by the filth of the presence of Akuma.

"Where _are _the Akuma anyways?" Andy asked impatiently, apparently not a child interested in the arts, like his equally unappreciative twin. Both of them were looking up, down, left, right, in deep suspicion instead of with awe of the surroundings.

"I'm about to find out," Kanda responded shortly, beginning to stride down the rough pathway towards the nearest village.

"Yuu-chan! Hold on! You're just like your boys…" Lavi remarked wryly as he hurried after the samurai, Allen and the twins hot on his heels.

"What d'ya mean?!"

"I mean, your Papa's about as clueless about the true beauty of nature as you two are."

"Pfft. _You _taught us the wrong things Uncle Lavi."

"Hey, corruption is first priority with me, okay? The world would be a much better, more _mature _place if everyone knew the dirty side of life!"

The twins exchanged weary glances. '_Our dear uncle will never learn, huh?_'

Kanda abruptly stopped, dark eyes raking over the village like an X-Ray.

"Not a soul," he breathed grimly.

"Not even one?" Allen asked in horror. Kanda gave him his typical 'DUH-OBVIOUSLY' look and began striding again, this time into a house.

It was unlocked, and the samurai entered it with a considerable lack of grace. Allen was just about to comment on Kanda's manners when his eyes fell onto the clothes scattered on the floor. It would have clearly suggested something in Lavi's hyperactively perverted imagination had happened in there if there were no charred dust lacing the clothes.

"Oh my God," the cursed teen breathed, bending down to pick up a blouse, which was small, probably belonging to a child. He let it slip through his fingers back to the floor when ash quietly showered out of the garment into a small pile.

"Useless trying to find anything here," Kanda remarked under his breath and walked back out of the house. Lavi and the twins appeared, all three grave-faced.

"We just went to look at the other houses," Lavi explained. "No one in sight."

"Lavi-san, Kanda-san!" a voice exclaimed, and the small party looked up. A Finder had appeared.

"Were you the Finder who informed Komui of the Akuma who attacked the villages?" Lavi asked.

"Yes," the Finder nodded. "I was a few miles north of these villages when I noticed that there were Akuma. I didn't have anything with me to take any action so I informed the Headquarters instead. But that's not the most unusual part."

"What is, then?" Allen asked.

The Finder pointed off to the distance. From where they stood, the party could see a town some way off, not very near, but not very far either.

"The villages were all attacked…but not that town, even though it is very close to one of the villages that the Akuma targeted," he explained. "I have a feeling that it has something to do with the Akuma—otherwise why would it not be attacked too?"

"Good point," Lavi nodded, his eye focused on the town. "So, let's go then, ne?"

"Please excuse me," the Finder said. "I'm supposed to be in Spain now."

"Okay, you can go," Allen nodded. He, Lavi and the twins bid the Finder a safe journey and they set off to the town.

"Ya know, it's really obvious that that town is where the Akuma must be residing," Lavi commented. "The Akuma wouldn't dare to kill anyone when they're supposed ta be blending in."

"Yeah," Allen agreed. "Only…what's in that town that the villages don't have?"

To which none of them had a reply, not even if they suspected Innocence. So they journeyed in silence.

**x X X x**

Everyone in the small group except Kanda gawked. "Eh?!"

Everyone else in the town seemed perfectly normal; excited, even, if the Exorcists could say that. There was a merry hustle and bustle as people flocked around.

"Why're…everybody so cheerful?" Andy asked, inching closer into the group, a bit wary of the energetic townspeople.

"There seems to be a party of some sort," Allen observed. He pointed. "Look."

There was a banner hanging up in the air. The Exorcists read it.

"Masquerade…ball?" Kanda muttered in half-confusion.

"Ooh, how fun!" Lavi grinned. "I kinda fancy dancing around with a masquerade and a swanky tuxedo, ya know. And preferably with someone hawt by my side."

"You can't say girl now, can you?" Allen sighed, remembering that Lavi was gay. "But what's the masquerade ball for? And why a ball, at this time?! This is confusing."

"Travellers?" A chirpy female voice said.

The Exorcists whipped around to see a petite girl with curly blonde hair. She was wearing a white shirt, pants and what looked like striped stockings underneath, making her stand out in the crowd. To top it off was a huge, almost blood-red lollipop she was licking leisurely.

"Um, yes," Allen said quickly. "We just want to ask for…directions. But what's this about a masquerade ball?"

The girl laughed. It was a very happy kind of laughter, but the creeped-out guys noticed the borderline insanity in it.

"Oh, that," the girl grinned. "My family's having a masquerade ball in our mansion. It's for _everyone_. Even travellers like you."

"Really?" Lavi asked, the interest obvious in his voice.

"Oh yes," the blonde girl said, taking another lick at her lollipop. "Will you come? I'd love it if you do. Oh, but you're all boys. Unless you want to dance with each other, you can always be my guests. But my…" She giggled, looking at Allen. "You could cross-dress _this _cutie up and pass him off easily as a girl."

The blush on Allen's face was priceless.

"Um…you know, that's kinda true though," Lavi said, eyeing Allen critically. "If I could just find the perfect pink dress…maybe I still have time to contact Rinali…"

"NO!" Allen exclaimed. "You will NOT call Rinali and ask her for any of her dresses. NO MORE, not after the nurse-outfit fiasco, that was horrible enough!"

"Don't worry that beansprout-mushed head," Kanda said calmly. "We'll not be going to this ball thingy anyway."

The twins' faces and Lavi's turned dangerous. "_Who said we aren't?_"

Kanda blinked as he looked from each face. "I did." For good measure, he added cockily, "Plus Mugen."

Lavi blanched, but the twins folded their arms. "Nice try, Papa," Yuukan said icily. "We are going. We'd LOVE to see how a ball goes. And this nice girl offered, too!"

"Papa?" the girl said with interest.

"He didn't say anything!" Kanda said hurriedly, reaching out and clapping his hands over the twins' mouths.

The twins' eyebrows narrowed dangerously.

"Okay. Okay. We'll be there," Kanda said, his eye resuming its long-lost twitching as he glared down at his evil sons. "Where's your damned mansion?"

The girl apparently found this very amusing, because she went off on another string of laughter again. "You guys are cute," she said. "Well, it's not really necessary to tell you, the mansion's twice as big as an average one, over there." She nodded her head towards a simply towering mansion, almost the size of a castle. It could very well take up a private land on its own with its monstrosity.

"Yes, we'll be there," Allen nodded, smiling nervously.

"I very much look forward to it then!" the girl trilled. "See ya boys!"

And she skipped off, the entire lollipop in her mouth.

"Yay! We'll be going to a ball!" the twins cheered. Kanda turned away, arms folded, desperately trying his best to cure his perhaps permanently damaged-muscle eye.

"Why are we going?" Allen whined. "I don't want people making fun of me again." He pouted as he remembered the girl's earlier words about him being good enough to pass off as a girl. Kanda, who had glanced back towards them, could hardly restrain himself when he saw Allen's pout.

"Because, we'll probably find out more from the ball, since everyone is going to be there, and we're gonna have fun at the same time," Lavi said perfectly logically.

Allen and Kanda blinked. "…Oh."

"Now," Lavi grinned sadistically, looping an arm around both teens' shoulders. "I just spotted a nice fancy dress shop. Shall we, gentlemen?"

**x X X x**

"Tyki…" the blonde girl trilled as she danced into the room.

The tall Noah turned around slowly, smiling at the newcomer. "Rhode. Hello, you're early."

"It was amazingly easy to convince those dolls," Rhode Camelot said, pulling off the curly wig and tossing it aside. "That's _itchy_. From which second-rate shop did you get that from, Tyki? You meanie…"

"That wasn't from a shop, dear sis," Tyki said lightly.

Rhode contemplated his words for a while, an impossibly large smile overcoming her face. "Ohh, interesting," she said. "It needs washing anyway. By the way, I made a cute discovery!"

Tyki raised his eyebrow. "What did you find out? That Allen Walker loves sweets too?"

Rhode pouted. "No!" she said. "Though he looks sweet enough. Anyway. The Exorcists are having a 'Bring-Your-Sons-To-Work' day."

Tyki, who just picked up a glass of what _seemed _to be wine, nearly choked. "What?"

Rhode grinned, satisfied with the taller Noah's reaction. "Yes. The three dolls have brought _chibis _with them," she said happily. "Oh, there's nothing cuter than chibi dolls. This is SO going to be fun!"

Tyki sighed; Rhode had very obviously been reading manga again. But what she said was _definitely _interesting.

"Chibis, eh? And who do you think are their parents?" he decided to humour his sister.

"The dark-haired one, I forgot his name, but he's very pretty, I'll have a lot of fun with him," Rhode said, her tone so calm it could scare Tyki, but he was too used to it to care anymore. "And Allen Walker. The boys look just like them both."

"Which leaves the last," Tyki said. "The redhead."

"Yes," Rhode said. "I think Master Millenium mentioned his name before…Lucky or something. Ah, yes! Lavi!"

"La-vi," Tyki swirled the name around his tongue. It sounded delightful, this name…very promising. Maybe he would tease this Lavi before destroying him.

"I don't want the kids as of yet," Rhode suddenly said sharply.

"Why?" Tyki asked, confused.

"I want to play with grown-up dolls first," the smaller Noah smiled. "You can have the chibis. Maybe to lure that Lavi boy. He seems fond of them."

Tyki slowly began to smirk. Now _that _sounded fun. Ready-made bait for his prey.

* * *

**Syaoran: **Jeez, I sound real dramatic. And I was reading _smut_, for damn's sake, I should be getting Allen-kun and Kanda on…

**Rhode: **Aw, Syaoran-kun…cheer up…you'll have your way with them soon! –licks lollipop-

**Syaoran: **Oh…wait…maybe not Allen-kun and Kanda first…I have a redhead and a Noah in mind…hehehe…

**Rhode: **-smirks- Looks like the R&&Rers might be getting some LUCKY after all, ne?

**Syaoran: **Oh, Rhode-chan, you have no idea…


	15. Odoranai Ka?

**Syaoran: **-sitting at computer desk looking like a Lulubell cosplayer minus the blonde hair-

**Rhode: **-helpfully- Just in case you guys are wondering, Syaoran-kun's in Exorcist-torture mood now, so she's kinda in her Black Side if you get what I mean.

**Syaoran: **-whips up hand- Rhode-chan. Shush. I need total concentration.

**Rhode: **-shrugs and licks lollipop-

**Mimi: **Syaoran-sama, what do you have planned in mind?

**Tyki: **-hissing- SHUT UP. She's tryin' ta concentrate.

**Syaoran: **…I'm not the Earl, ya know.

**Tyki: **-bites back retort- Yes, but you _are _writing the chapter and _I _am in it, so…

**Syaoran: **-smirks widely-

**Mei Ling: **Ano…Miss Syaoran?

**Noahs&&Syaoran: **-glance-

**Mei Ling: **According to my crystal ball, it's not possible for Hoshino Katsura-sama to hand over the rights of D.Gray-Man to you…

**Syaoran: **Damn. –sulks- No matter. I shall just have to turn my LUCKY and KandAre thoughts into chapters instead of omake episodes then…

* * *

"_Won't you dance, Real Cinderella? In those glass-stained Dr. Martens."_

_-Silly God Disco by The GazettE_

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . F i f t e e n – O d o r a n a i . K a ?**

"See, I told you so, Allen-san!" the shop assistant beamed happily.

"I swear to God…" the red-faced Exorcist mumbled, hardly daring to look at himself in the mirror.

"Oh, come on, Allen," Lavi smirked. "You look so hot, Yuu probably would've jumped you if his nosebleed didn't get in the way."

Allen's blush intensified, but he whipped around to face the Bookman-to-be with a dark expression. "I don't care! This is _worse _than a dress, Lavi! This is a _black leather tuxedo!_"

Yes. Innocent-looking Allen Walker was all dressed up in enticing black leather. Disappointingly, it was a tuxedo instead of a dress, though it didn't make the cursed Exorcist look any less pretty about the face. But leather always does things to the mind, and in Kanda's case, it affected his temperature to the point of getting a nosebleed. Currently he was outside of the shop, holding countless tissues to his nose and pointedly glaring up at the sky to avoid weird looks from passers-by.

When they'd first arrived at the dress shop, the shop assistant had came up to see what they needed. She was a rather meek-looking girl, with the expression of one who would willingly become another's servant without delay. But after a few minutes of assisting, the girl had suddenly morphed to one with Rinali's boldness, Lavi's sentiments about Allen's 'beauty' and the twins' evil-ness, much to Lavi's delight.

The twins themselves apparently didn't need any help; they'd already picked out their tuxedos, both of which were black and simple. Neither did Lavi, who chose a tuxedo that was red from tip to toe, matching his hair perfectly. Kanda absolutely refused to choose anything, and now he wasn't able to, seeing as his nosebleed didn't seem to want to evaporate any sooner.

So Allen was now placed in perfect doom, having four people in cahoots to pressurize his choice.

"The leather seems to mold against your body, you know," the assistant remarked approvingly. "This tuxedo looks as if it was _made _for you, Allen-san."

"Of course it is. It's practically two sizes too small for me," Allen snapped. "And it's _literally _melting into my skin now, it's so hot!"

"You're the one making it hot," Yuukan smiled, his arms folded as he eyed his mother critically.

"Kan-chan, not now," Allen sighed, placing a palm against his forehead in tired exasperation.

"I didn't mean it _that _way," the silver-haired samurai chibi corrected. "I meant that there's no ventilation here right now, and you're sweating bullets."

Allen blinked. "Oh."

"You should totally take this, Allen," Lavi said excitedly. "Look—it's just perfect for you! Right, Carmelia-chan?"

The shop assistant grinned and nodded. "Absolutely right, Lavi-san," she said.

"I'm sorry, but _no thank you_," Allen said firmly. "I'll make another choice."

The devilish teenage pair groaned together, but Allen wouldn't listen anymore. He disappeared into the changing room and slowly, uncomfortably peeled the leather off his body.

'_It _IS _melting against me!!'_

After ten agonizing minutes of removing the tuxedo, Allen grabbed his long Exorcist jacket and wrapped it over his body before stepping out. Carmelia and Lavi were already looking for other stuff. Currently, Carmelia was holding up a sky-blue evening gown, complete with lace and sequins, holding up a matching masquerade that looked positively stunning.

"Why don't you go with the crossdressing idea?" she said when Allen appeared. "This goes well with your lovely grey eyes, Allen-san!"

Allen sweatdropped as he stared at the dress. He had a sudden mental image of himself wearing it; what a nightmare!

"No. No dresses. Absolutely not," he protested.

"Try it, Mama. It _is _beautiful!" Andy insisted. "Just try it, we didn't say we wanted you to _have _it. Just to see how it'd look like."

Andy's methods of persuasion were astounding; Allen relented almost immediately. With a world-weary sigh, he took the dress and slowly went back to the changing room.

"He's really gonna wear it!" Carmelia said in disbelief.

"Oh, yes. Andy-chan and Yuukan-chan have a…shall I say, juvenile…effect on Allen," Lavi smirked knowingly.

A few minutes later…

A swish of lace, dainty steps…

A familiar masquerade framing the upper half of the delicate face…

The four stared, completely blown away.

"M—I mean, Allen-niichan…" Andy stammered.

"Is that you?" Yuukan finished, awestruck.

The figure cringed, and the sudden enchanting beauty cracked slightly as Allen abruptly lowered the masquerade to reveal that yes, of course it was him.

"This is ridiculous!" he wailed. "I look…I look…like a _girl!_"

"That's…the whole point," Lavi breathed, gazing at the gown.

Carmelia started jumping up and down. "Oh my God! Allen-san, you _must _wear this gown to the ball! You must!" she squealed.

"No! You can't be serious!" Allen cried. "I'm not going to crossdress!"

Lavi moved forward swiftly and whispered excitedly into Allen's ear, "You must! Don't try to deny it anymore, your face is as open as a book and I _know _you like Yuu-chan. If you want to entice him, you have to go for it!"

"Um, excuse me?" Carmelia said, waving. "I can hear you, and why the hell are you whispering for? I'm not a homophob."

"You're not? GOOD!" Lavi sighed in relief. In his normal voice, he said, "Yeah, anyways, aside from maybe another nosebleed, he'll want to ravish you if he sees you in this!"

Allen's blush was already the heat of volcano magma, but he glanced down nervously. "Um…are you sure?" he whispered.

"Of course. Hey, I _know _Yuu," Lavi smiled proudly. "Not _you_, but Kanda. You'll be amazed to know just how much I know about him, but I'm not gonna give it away. So go for it! Besides, if you do, everyone'll immediately think you're a girl and the twins won't have to worry about calling you Mama."

"What?" Carmelia said in disbelief. "Mama? You mean…Allen-san is the twins'…_mother?!_"

"Yes!" the twins said adorably, grinning up at her.

The assistant gave a fangirlish squeak, clapping her hand to her mouth to keep herself from screaming. "Oh my God. Allen-san, I don't care, you _must _wear that gown! I'll do anything! I'll even give you the gown and masquerade free! Just do it!" she begged.

"You don't have to do that, Carmelia-san…" Allen said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. He took a deep breath and said the one thing he had a weird feeling he would regret for the rest of his manly life. "I'll take it."

**x X X x**

"_Odoranai ka, Real Cinderella…kizu darake no GARASU no MAACHIN de!_" Lavi sang insanely.

"Shut up before I impale you with Mugen. You're butchering the song," Kanda snarled through gritted teeth.

"Oh, is Yuu-chan mad because I'm singing a _Japanese _song?" Lavi grinned.

"No. Because your singing makes me feel like killing something, _now_," the samurai Exorcist replied.

"Let's see if the almighty twins can make you change your mind. Hey boys, can I sing _Silly God Disco_?" Lavi asked the twins calmly. Both of them glanced at each other.

"Okay, on one condition. You'll let us sing with you!" they grinned.

"No problem! All right boys, from where I sang!"

Kanda's eye twitched for perhaps the thousandth time as all three began chorusing the "_Odoranai ka_" line. Allen was listening in total confusion.

"Lavi, that's not a Japanese song, that's an English song, even if it doesn't make much sense," he said. "But what does that line mean? The…odo…something."

"It means, 'Won't you dance, Real Cinderella? In those glass-stained Dr. Martens'," Andy explained. "The GazettE are really cool guys! And Alice Nine!"

"You're talking about the rock bands who look like girls, right?" Allen asked. The twins glared.

"Yes, but they're not gay or sissy or whatever!" they said protectively. What kids do for their idols…

"Here we are," Lavi said, pausing mid-singing to look up at the town's hotel. "Wow, hope they have rooms at this place. This is the only hotel in town!"

The little party walked in and made reservations, doing the customary ignoring of blatant admiring stares from girls. Even the twins had these fangirl looks, they were far too adorable to pass over.

"We got two rooms," Lavi said. "You and Yuu-chan and the twins will stay in one room, Allen, and I'll have the second."

"Why?" Kanda snapped. "_I_'m the one who needs the peace and quiet."

"Well, sure, Yuu, but I don't wanna break up the happy family!" Lavi said with a grin. "And you can't change my mind anytime soon. Let's go!"

Unable to argue because the twins also agreed to Lavi's conditions, Kanda just grumbled incoherently under his breath as he followed.

**x X X x **

Night was drawing near, and that also meant the time of the ball. The five were getting ready for it, Lavi and the twins being the first to finish. Kanda didn't seem to want to move; he just sat at the bed with his arms folded, scowling.

"Kanda, you didn't even get to buy a tuxedo," Allen remembered. "How're you gonna go?"

The samurai looked away. "Che. I don't need a tuxedo," was his only reply.

Allen blinked, then shrugged. "Well, if you say so then…"

With a deep breath, he slipped out the gown that he bought. "Damn…"

Kanda glanced over and almost fell off the bed. "Moyashi!! You bought a _DRESS_?!!"

Allen went a fiery red. "I had no choice! It was…kinda for the twins…" he mumbled.

"How does wearing a _feminine outfit _help the twins?" Kanda inquired suspiciously.

"They can…call me…Mama?" Allen squeaked, embarrassed.

Kanda looked at him for a long time. Then he got up. "You are one sad kid," he muttered before entering the bathroom.

Allen pouted. What did Kanda mean? It wasn't sad, it was just motherly love! He would sacrifice for his children no matter what.

Feeling a sudden surge of determination, Allen stripped and held up the sequinned gown. "I'll just show you, Kanda," he vowed, before pulling it on.

**x X X x**

Lavi, Kanda and the twins were waiting at the lobby of the hotel, impatiently waiting for their last member to come down. Kanda thought Allen had already gone with Lavi because he was nowhere in sight when he stepped out of the bathroom, but apparently not.

Kanda had most probably decided he didn't need a tuxedo to look sexy; he'd just worn his white dress shirt, two buttons undone at the top, a pair of black pants and shiny black shoes. He didn't want to give anyone the impression he even wanted to go in the first place, so he left his hair as it was, though he was perfectly unaware how meltworthy he looked even with a normal ponytail. He forgot about the masquerade, but Lavi had magically provided one, which he took with reluctance.

"Oh man, what's taking him so long?" Yuukan said in annoyance. "We're going to be late!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" a breathless voice said, and the four turned to face an exquisite beauty in a blue gown and holding a masquerade.

"Finally!" Lavi said in relief. "Come on, we're late."

Kanda didn't move. He was stunned to the point of almost frozen into stone. _THIS _enchanting lady was the Moyashi?!?! The temptress with the hair sleek and shiny, the face suspiciously looking as if it were made-up?! The seductress with the full lips pouting, oddly shiny in the light, the eyes sparkling mischievously?!

"I'm really, really sorry," Allen said, trying to catch his breath. "I decided that I didn't want to look like a drag queen so I asked the woman next door of our room to help me. She was really sympathetic when I told her I forgot to…er…bring my makeup with me. Do I look okay?"

"Yes, you look fine, no one can tell you're male," Lavi said impatiently. "Let's just go."

Allen nodded meekly and they went, Kanda only just remembering how to move. In his dazed mind, he was thinking, '_What?! Lavi isn't affected by this spell of Moyashi's?! What the hell is wrong with me?! No, what the hell's wrong with _LAVI?! _Allen doesn't look fine, he looks phenomenal! He looks like the world's eighth wonder—Hold the phone, did I just call Moyashi 'Allen'? Fuck…he's affecting me…'_

"Kanda? Are you okay?" Allen said, waving his masquerade in front of Kanda's face. "You're zoning out."

"Hmphf?" Kanda mumbled, jolting to reality. He almost reeled at the beautiful face looking at him with a weird expression. "Gah! I-I'm fine…nothing wrong, just mind your goddamn business, Allen—I mean Moyashi."

Allen blinked. "Um…okay," he said. Then he glanced up. "Oh, we're here!"

They'd reached the mansion. A girl dressed in a maid's uniform stood at the door, greeting each person who walked in. She looked suspiciously much like Carmelia.

"Carmelia-chan? What're you doing here…wearing a maid's outfit of all things?" Lavi asked in surprise. The maid gave a start.

"Um…ahh…m-my name is Mimi, not Carmelia," she mumbled, keeping her eyes on the floor as she bowed slightly. "Welcome to the Black Mansion."

The five bemused males walked in, Lavi still puzzling over the likeness of Carmelia and Mimi. Then their attention was snapped.

They'd walked into a huge ballroom, and already, many people were dancing. There were flashes of sequins, lace, glitter and masquerades all over the place. No one's faces could be seen; they were all masked by the masquerades.

"Wow…" the twins breathed.

Suddenly, the blonde girl from earlier came skipping towards them. She was wearing a black, white and red gown, holding a masquerade in one hand and a lollipop in the other. She was laughing merrily.

"Komban wa!" she said, winking. "Oh, you took my advice, did you? Very beautiful, Allen Walker!"

Allen blushed, lifting the masquerade to hide it.

"Why don't you dance?" the girl offered. "Ne, Lavi, my brother wants to meet you!"

Lavi blinked. "Eh? Your brother?"

A tall man materialiazed out of nowhere, dressed immaculately in a black tuxedo. The rim of his top hat was tipped forward, hiding his eyes, and his black masquerade hid the rest. Unruly, silky black hair curled in long locks over the nape of his neck. He smiled charmingly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lavi," he said, his tone gentlemanly.

Lavi suddenly realized that a light blush was creeping over his cheeks. "Um…same to you," he mumbled, dropping his gaze to the floor, his action almost demure.

The girl laughed. "Enjoy yourselves! And Lavi, you really should've worn a dress instead, like Allen. My brother is _always _on top."

Before any one of them could figure out her meaning, she'd danced away. The boys' minds had become hazy and dazed, as if they were in a dream. The tall man took Lavi's hand in his, pulling the Bookman-to-be gently against his body. Lavi's breath caught.

"You're very beautiful," the man whispered, smiling at Lavi. "Shall we dance, then?"

Lavi smiled almost shyly back as he allowed him to lead.

Kanda, just as affected as Lavi was, turned to Allen. With a devilish smirk, he held out a hand. "Odoranai ka, Real Cinderella?"

Allen blushed, smiling back and taking his hand. None of them wondered why they were in such an odd situation, or why they were behaving so weirdly.

And they didn't notice that the twins had disappeared.

* * *

**Syaoran: **-pants- Whew…that was kinda long…

**Rhode: **-licks lollipop- You really are a yaoi fangirl then…

**Syaoran: **-glares- What do you take me for? Of course I am! And just so ya know, the action is all yours!

**Rhode: **Yes, of course, thank you very much! –grins happily-


	16. Lavi's Choice

**Syaoran: **-trembling as R&&Rers and the Jasdebi twins point guns at her-

**Rinali: **Sorry, but it's your fault for makin' me call Jasdebi.

**Syaoran: **WHY?!?!

**Debitto: **-waves gold gun around- You've been a real bad girl, Syaoran, and so we're gunna make ya pay the price, ne, Jasdero, ladies?

**R&&Rers: **YEAH!!! –cocks guns-

**Syaoran: **WAAAHH!! I'm sorry!! I'm sorry for the late update!!! –gets shot-

**Rhode&&Tyki: **-whistling- We have _nothing _to do with that…

**Debitto: **Bloody cowards!! You were the ones who recommended us to Rinali!! Hah!

**Allen: **-sighs- I suppose it's all for Miss Syaoran's own good for the Jasdebi boys and the R&&Rers to shoot her, ne?

**Lavi: **You have no idea, Allen.

**Jasdero: **Ahem…well…Syaoran doesn't own D.Gray-Man for that, then. Oh c'mon, girls, shoot harder!! She can avoid those!!

**Debitto: **Yeah, do it like _that_!! –shoots-

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . ****B e . B o y s**

**C h a p t e r . ****S i x t e e n – L a v i ' s . C h o i c e **

"What the hell…?" whispered Lavi.

He was feeling extremely, _extremely _drowsy right now. He didn't know why, but dancing with Tyki was making him feel like falling to the floor in a deep sleep.

'_What in the world was in that champagne?'_

Earlier after Tyki had introduced himself, he'd offered Lavi some champagne that magically appeared out of nowhere. Lavi wasn't one to drink but he just couldn't stop. Now he wasn't sure if he was just plain drunk, or if he was really suffering some kind of side effect.

"Is something wrong, Lavi?" the taller man whispered. Lavi lifted his head, feeling his temples throbbing and gazed at Tyki through hazy eyes.

"Um…not…not really," he mumbled. "I just feel…sleepy."

The light smile on Tyki's lips suddenly grew wider. It wasn't _very _wide, but still, it was kinda creepy. "Sleepy, eh? What've you been doing the whole day?" he asked quietly.

"Helping Allen…find a…dress…" Lavi muttered, hardly even noticing what the hell he was saying. He could've well said "Helping Kanda find pink boxers" and he wouldn't realize the diff.

"You must have done a really good job. Allen Walker looks stunning tonight," Tyki mused. "But of course, not as beautiful as you do."

"I'm not wearing…a dress…so how would you know?" Lavi grinned weakly. Tyki's eyes gleamed in a weird way at his words.

"Do you want to?" he asked.

"What?"

"Wear a dress. It's my house after all. I can always let you wear my sister's dress."

Lavi laughed uncomfortably. "Uh, no, I don't think I'm really up for crossdressing…"

"Right," Tyki said, tilting his head slightly. "You don't look like you'd stay awake long enough to undress and put on a dress, anyway."

The redheaded Exorcist suddenly felt very uneasy and vulnerable at his words. Why was he feeling so weird? Why was everyone just dancing and not talking? …Where were the guys?

Lavi blinked as he realized, at that moment, that the twins, Kanda and Allen had vanished.

"Where did they…" he mumbled in surprise.

"Shh," Tyki smiled, tilting Lavi's head back with a finger. Lavi weakly let his head fall back and he gazed up at Tyki. "Just…sleep."

All the Bookman-to-be could do was close his eyes.

**x X X x**

In a bright spotlight, Allen and Kanda were dancing. Everyone surrounding them just watched in silence, letting the flow of chamber music wash over them.

As the two stared deep into each others' eyes, Allen tried his best to get a grip on himself. He felt as if he was being…_controlled._

'_But…how?'_

A maniacal laughter reached his ears and out of the corner of his eye he could see the blonde girl moving closer.

"How does it feel like to be a puppet on my strings, Allen Walker?" she smiled.

"Who…who exactly are you?" Allen hissed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't introduce myself!" the girl laughed. "My name is Rhode Camelot."

'_Wait…Rhode Camelot?'_

"You're a Noah," Allen gasped in realization. Rhode nodded, pulling off the blonde wig.

"Itchy," she muttered with slight displeasure. Then she smiled widely again at Allen. "Tyki was so nice to provide me with that."

"What do you want?" Allen asked as Kanda, who _seemed _to be in a zombie-like state, twirled him around.

"Is it not obvious what I want, Allen-chan?" Rhode asked, tilting her head innocently. Then she laughed again. "I want to play with you."

"Play…?" the cursed Exorcist frowned, confused.

"Your Innocence is nothing to me," Rhode said conversationally. "I'm bored, ya see. We Noahs do get bored; sending Akuma to kill isn't exactly the most fun of pastimes. I want to have action too."

"Why do you want to play? Why won't you fight instead?" Allen challenged.

"Fighting is overrated," Rhode snorted. "Fighting is like me doing homework without Tyki's help, or Debitto's. It makes me impatient."

"Yet sadly, that's gonna happen," Kanda suddenly snapped, apparently broken out of his trance already. Allen blinked at him in surprise. Kanda took a look at him, then at where his hands were on Allen's body, and backed off quickly.

Rhode cackled. "Ahh, shounen ai," she said.

"What is it with girls and shounen ai?" Allen exclaimed.

"It's sexy," Rhode shrugged. "Don't blame the fujyoshi for loving it, it's like guys with yuri. Oh, don't deny it, I've had enough of that kinda crap from Tyki."

"This topic is _over_," Kanda declared, and from nowhere, he brandished Mugen.

"Innocence, activate!" Allen said after a moment's stunned hesitation at how Kanda managed to have his precious katana on him without anyone realizing.

Rhode sighed. "Oh, boo," she said. "Master Millenium!"

The surrounding audience suddenly burst out of their dresses and tuxedos, revealing a huge mass of Akuma.

"Akuma?!" Allen said in shock. "But my eye--!"

"They were just illusions previously," Rhode smiled. "Now bye-bye. I told you fighting's overrated. Enjoy the Akuma."

An umbrella descended from nowhere and Rhode took hold of it. In a second, she'd disappeared.

"Damn that little bitch!" Kanda swore. "Get busy, Moyashi!"

"Hello?! I'm in a gown in case you forgot!" said Moyashi snarled back with a pout.

Kanda mentally smacked himself in exasperation. "Do it the way Rinali does!" he said. "This is no time for worrying about dresses! Kaichu Ichigen!!"

He slashed once in the air and the Hellish Insects flew towards the Akuma.

Allen sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry, Carmelia-chan," he said before ripping the billowing skirts off.

**x X X x**

Lavi slowly opened his eyes. "Oww…fuck…where am I…?"

He tried to move, but suddenly he realized that…he couldn't.

'_What the?!_'

His wrists were tied firmly to the headboard of a bed, and he was only in a white vest and his boxers. Almost on the verge of panic, he also realized that his Innocence was gone.

"Damn!" he hissed to himself.

"Uncle Lavi!!"

Lavi looked up in shock, and he suddenly spotted the twins across the dark room he was in. They were trapped in a huge bubble-looking thingy. They were trying their best to escape, but they couldn't.

"Yuukan-chan! Andy-chan!" he yelled. "What happened to you guys?!"

"How the hell would we know?!" Andy snarled. He had activated his Innocence; same with Yuukan, but they couldn't even put so much as a scratch on the bubble thingy. "We were at the ball, then suddenly we were knocked out and the next thing we knew, we're here!"

"And we can't escape!" Yuukan added. "This has _got _to be a Noah's doing!"

"Noah…?" Lavi repeated slowly. He had a sudden weird feeling pricking in his heart. "_Tyki_."

"Yep, very smart," a deep voice smirked. The three Exorcists looked up to see Tyki. He was wearing a white shirt like something of Lavi's and a pair of tuxedo pants. To top it off was a pair of…swirly spectacles.

"_Nani?!_" the twins choked.

"Swirly-spectacles guy?!" Lavi yelled in shock.

"_You're Tyki?!_" all three shouted together.

"Well yeah," Tyki shrugged. "Thought you would've been able to recognize me, that's why I had the masquerade. But you are so goddamn clueless."

He stopped and raised an eyebrow. Lavi was blushing to the roots of his flaming hair and the twins were glaring at him with 'I-told-you-so!' expressions.

"Why, what's wrong?" he asked impatiently.

"NOTHING!" Lavi squeaked. He gave the twins a warning glare. They glanced at each other and shrugged, then glared back at their uncle.

Tyki raised his eyebrow higher, then shrugged to himself and continued.

"Anyway. Moving on," he said decisively. The other three sweatdropped.

"Amazingly, I don't have any wish to kill you…yet," he said casually. "But I do want to play a game with you."

"What…game?" Lavi asked.

"It involves Innocence," Tyki said, smirking widely. "More than one type of Innocence."

The twins were beginning to shiver slightly.

"What do you want?" Lavi whispered. "Just say it."

"Jeez, impatient much?" Tyki raised his eyes to the heavens. "All right then. Either I can take these adorable twins' Inocences and destroy them…or you can entertain me, pretty little Lavi."

Fear struck the three Exorcists' hearts. All three of them knew one thing the Noahs didn't—and that was the fact that the twins needed the Innocence to survive.

Yet Yuukan turned to Lavi. "Uncle Lavi!! Don't you dare become that bastard Tyki's whore!" he yelled.

"Yeah! We'll sacrifice ourselves for _your _innocence, Uncle Lavi!!" Andy added.

Tyki stared at Yuukan with his jaw hanging. "Since when does a little kid know those words?!"

"Uncle Lavi taught us, and we're proud of it, you ass-licking fucker!" Andy snapped.

Tyki shook his head, 'tch'ing at Andy's use of language.

"Though I'm kinda uneasy about teaching poor little kids such profanities, I find it sadistic in a way and that, I approve one hundred percent," he smirked. "And if _you _are their sadistic teacher, Lavi…this will make things a whole lot more fun."

"Oh please," Lavi said, rolling his eyes. "I'm so not into BDSM. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Okay, that's one fantasy down the drain, then," Tyki scowled. "Whatever. Make your choice, Lavi. And I'm not giving you more than…" He checked his watch. "…fifteen minutes."

Lavi bit his lip. The twins were looking at him pleadingly.

"We'll sacrifice ourselves for you, Uncle Lavi!" they said. "Don't let Tyki use you!"

Oh God. Whatever was Lavi to do?

* * *

**Syaoran: **Actually this chapter should be titled "R&&Rers' Choice', because I'm now gonna ask YOU, the R&&Rers. 

Obviously the twins ain't dying, but do you want me to **1) **write a LUCKY lemon or **2) **give them mega-fluffy lime and let Kanda and Allen interrupt to save Lavi's –ahem- innocence?

It's your choice!!

**Debitto: **-sighs- And on account that the reviews are the ones going to trigger her next chapter, we won't be able to shoot her…unless there are a lot of reviews and she STILL doesn't update! Yee-hah!

**Jasdero: **Debi…shut up.

**Syaoran: **Ehehehe...and also, if you want to know what's under Allen's skirts, please REVIEW!


	17. Lucky In Love

**Syaoran: **-grumbling as she taps her chin- 

**Debitto: **Lemon. Lemon. Lemon.

**Jasdero: **Lime. Lime. Lime.

**Debitto: **Shut _UP_, Jas. I say lemon, and that goes.

**Jasdero: **-pouts- It isn't your decision, it's Syaoran's. LIME!

**Syaoran: **-whines to Rinali- MUST I have these two around me?!

**Rinali: **Yep. So that you update early.

**Syaoran: **-scowls- Dangit. –shrieks- WAAAIIII! Don't shoot my beloved Jamie!!! –hugs pet wolf-

**Debitto: **-blows smoking gun tip- What was that weird poodle doing there anyway?

**Syaoran: **-looms over him- JAMIE ISN'T A POODLE…

**Debitto: **-blinks- Okay, okay, chill. I won't shoot the bitch anymore… 

**Syaoran: **He's male!!! –Jamie snarls at Debitto and chases after him-

**Debitto: **Whoa, get this damned canine off!! –yanks Jasdero- Distract him Jas!

**Jasdero: **MY HAIR!!! DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR!!! –wails-

**Skin: **WHERE'S MY CANDY?! DAMN YOU, SYAORAN, SINCE YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME CANDY YOU DON'T OWN D.GRAY-MAN!!!

**Syaoran: **-sweatdrops and leaves the room- Maybe I've reached a decision without these psychos.

Anyway, THE POLL IS OUT…you R&&Rers had your say and now it's time to see which side won; Jasdero's side (mega-fluffy lime) or Debitto's (lemon). UNFORTUNATELY due to the fact that there is a tie, I shall consult my anime-lovin' friends. –goes to consult, returns-

Huh…okay. Since a few of you R&&Rers gave me death threats too, this shall be the final result. FOR THE TIME BEING, we'll save Lavi's –ahem- innocence.

**Debitto: **-stops temporarily- NOOOOO!!

**Jasdero: **YAY!! YOU ROCK SYAORAN!!

**Syaoran: **-sweatdrops- Anyways. BUT, sometime LATER, since this _is _LUCKY we're talking about (I fking love LUCKY because of Tyki's elegant spazziness and Lavi's insanity xD), there WILL be a lemon. I'll just be procrastinating it. OH C'MON GUYS, I'M JUST THIRTEEN, I'M STILL PRETTY MUCH A NOOB, LET ME CLOCK IN SOME MORE READING EXPERIENCE FIRST FOR A REALLY GOOD LEMON. –goes down on knees and begs-

**OH, ANOTHER THING. BDSM, FOR PEOPLE WHO AREN'T SURE WHAT THIS IS, STANDS FOR BONDAGE && SADOMASOCHISM (sp?). AND THE LATTER MEANS SEXUAL PLEASURE FROM PAIN. It basically means only sadistic horny bastards like Tyki Mikk loves this kinda sex-play. xP BONDAGE INVOLVES THE TYING UP OF ONE PARTNER (for teasing).**

**

* * *

**

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s **

**C h a p t e r . ****S e v e n t e e n – L u c k y . I n . L o v e . **

Lavi closed his eyes as he bit his lip harder. So hard…he tasted blood.

"I…I'll entertain you," he whispered. "Just don't touch the twins."

Tyki's smirk widened almost impossibly. "Very good decision. I'm in a merciful mood today, that's why I won't be killing you," he said.

"Uncle Lavi!! Why did you do that?!" Yuukan yelled in horror. "Don't!! We'll sacrifice ourselves, we really will!!"

"No," Lavi said, smiling weakly at them as he shook his head slightly. "I know…that Allen and Yuu-chan won't forgive me if I sacrificed you. Besides…if it means no one will be dying…I'm willing to do this."

"But it's your innocence!" Andy said. His voice was trembling, and a tear fell down his cheek. "It's worse than our Innocence being destroyed!"

"So long…as we are alive," Lavi said quietly.

Andy burst out in sobs and threw himself at Yuukan, who hugged him, also crying. "Why, Uncle Lavi…why…" they wept together.

"Aw," Tyki snorted. "Ya know, it's enough to make me cry. But I won't, because I've got a game to play."

The Bookman-to-be glared half-heartedly up at him. Truth be told, he suddenly felt too exhausted to argue, or to fight. And he really was willing enough to sacrifice his own innocence if it meant saving the twins.

"Do what you want, then," he muttered.

"You really think I'll do anything in front of those twins? Puh-leeze, this is going to be NC-17," Tyki rolled his eyes. "No overly-corrupted exceptions. They're only…what? Four?"

"FIVE!" the twins snarled at him through their tears.

"Whatever," Tyki said boredly. He moved towards the bubble thingy and stuck his hands in it effortlessly. "Time to make you two sleep."

The twins screamed as his hands ghosted into their heads and a second later, both of them fell, unconscious, to the bottom of the bubble trap.

"You…bastard…" Lavi hissed.

"No worries baby. I didn't hurt them at all," the Noah said calmly, turning back to him as he dusted off his hands.

"Don't give me endearments," Lavi snapped. "This is going to be the first and the last time we'll be doing this. The next time we meet, I swear I'll kill you."

"Oh so feisty," Tyki smiled fondly. "Let's start Rape Education 101, shall we?"

**x X X x **

Kanda ripped through another couple of Akuma with his trusty Mugen and landed smoothly on the ballroom floor, breathing hard. He could hear gunshots behind him and wondered how the Moyashi was faring (NOT that he cared very much), so he turned around.

And bang went his jaw through the floor.

Allen was standing, the expression on his face so determined even in its makeupped beauty, the optimism still visible in his grey eyes. The top half of what he was wearing was still the dress, with the sky blue sequinns and all. But that wasn't what the samurai Exorcist was gaping at.

It was the lower half of what Allen wore.

Allen Walker…

_Innocent, bashful, introverted _Allen Walker…

Was wearing…

Was wearing…

_A pair of black leather garters. _(**Syaoran: **Do NOT ask me what they are. Google-Image it.)

Kanda privately wondered why his nose hadn't exploded in a waterfall of bloody red glory yet.

Oh damn. MUST…LOOK…AWAY…BEFORE…NOSEBLEED…THREATENS…TO…_ESCAPE!! _

Allen looked around and saw Kanda's stupefied expression.

" Kanda!! What's wrong with you?! There's a Level 2 Akuma behind you!!" he yelled, waving his right arm frantically to get the samurai's attention. Though he was still wondering why Kanda's eyes seemed glued to his legs.

"What the f—" Kanda quickly snapped out of it and whipped around, expert swordsman skills making his defense still strong.

Allen mentally wanted to hit his head against the wall. Now whose turn was it to be exasperated, huh?

"Damn these garters," he muttered to himself. Why the hell did he let Carmelia talk him into buying those again…

Allen shook his head hard. '_Concentrate, Allen. There are still some more Akuma. Even if Kanda seems oddly off for the time being, you still have to do your bit before he kills you for not doing anything.' _

With that determined thought, he began blasting at the remaining Akuma.

Thank goodness, Kanda finally managed to remain focused and finished off the last of the horrible creatures. After a short while, both of them stood in an empty ballroom, breathing hard as they looked around for signs of more Akuma. When they confirmed that they weren't going to be attacked anymore, Allen turned to Kanda, but his back was facing him.

" Kanda, we have to save Lavi," he said, blinking as he wondered why the samurai wasn't facing him. What, was he not worthy enough to be looked at anymore?

"Who cares about the baka usagi? It's the twins we have to save," Kanda said stiffly. He didn't want to admit that he was privately fearing for the twins' safety. OMG, KANDA YUU, THE HOMICIDAL SAMURAI OF BLOODY DEATH HAD A FATHER COMPLEX!!!

"Um, okay," Allen said. He was inwardly whooping that finally, _finally _Kanda was having a much softer spot for the boys than usual, but he was really getting annoyed that Kanda was stubbornly looking away from him.

'_Patience, Allen. Patience…maybe he's just in his 'I-don't-wanna-talk-to-Moyashi' mood. Maybe—' _

_'_**Maybe you can stop being such a wimp and just CONFRONT him already!!**' Black Allen yelled in his head.

"KANDA WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME?!?!" The outburst was out of his mouth before Allen could stop himself.

Kanda, naturally, was stunned at Allen's yell. So stunned that he turned to look at him, look him in the face instead of –ahem- below.

There was anger in Allen's face, anger mixed with annoyance. His full lips were quivering; in fact, his whole body was shaking in quelled fury. He also looked…sad? Disappointed? Kanda couldn't exactly make out the emotion.

"You…Moyashi…your skirts…" was all Kanda could say in explanation. "When you took them off…"

Allen now had his hands on his hips; he looked like an impatient mother. A helluva sexy mother… "Yes? What's wrong with that?" he demanded.

"What you're wearing…below…" Kanda gestured clumsily at the garters, trying his best to avert his eyes though it was getting quite impossible.

Allen glanced down and stared at his garters. Then he glanced up at Kanda, who was REALLY trying not to ogle him. For some reason, he smirked, though he was blushing slightly.

"Oh? The garters distract you?" he said in an almost devilish way.

"That's not what I…it's…oh shut up," Kanda snapped, turning away again.

Allen smiled, suddenly feeling very happily satisfied for some reason. "Come on, Kanda. Let's go find the twins. _And _Lavi."

**x X X x **

Lavi could feel the blood trickling down his chin, trailing down his neck, the blood from the lip he bit too hard. He wished he had his hands untied so that he could wipe it away, but of course he couldn't, he was supposed to be entertaining Tyki like some whore.

Tyki removed his spectacles and carelessly tossed them aside, approaching the bed leisurely. Lavi could feel himself tense up even though the Noah hadn't even done anything yet. For all Lavi's bravado and corruption, he was of course still a virgin, and he had absolutely no hands-on experience yet.

Tyki smiled down at his prey as he crawled on top of Lavi, straddling the boy's hips. He reached out and with a thumb, began tracing the redheaded Exorcist's lips, letting the blood stain the finger. Lavi watched sullenly and with a sudden feeling of slight fear as Tyki brought his thumb up and licked the blood off slowly.

"You taste good," he commented lightly. Lavi frowned.

"It's blood," he replied. He didn't know why he said it, but he just had to point it out.

"I know. I'm not stupid," Tyki said, still in a light tone. "I _like _blood."

With a smirk, he leaned forward and licked the blood off of Lavi's neck, nipping the virgin flesh from time to time. Lavi tried to remain silent; he didn't want to give Tyki any pleasure of what he was doing to him, but as Tyki's expert tongue rubbed along his collarbone, he couldn't help gasping and throwing his head back, unconsciously exposing more for the Noah.

"So eager," Tyki whispered, and without removing his lips from Lavi's normally flawless skin, he lifted his head up so that he kissed Lavi hard on his gasping mouth. It wasn't hard for him to insert his tongue into Lavi's mouth, playing with the younger boy's one roughly.

"Mmphf…Tyki…" Lavi moaned, breathing hard as Tyki broke the kiss to lick away the rest of the blood from his own lips.

"So are you still thinking this will be your last time with me?" he whispered teasingly.

"Shut…up!" Lavi yelled breathlessly, and with as much force as he could manage, he shoved Tyki off him with his surprisingly free legs.

Tyki recovered almost instantly, the smile on his face still remaining. A moment later, Lavi's ankles were tied down to the bottom bedposts. Lavi swore silently to himself. What the hell had he done now? Who could blame him—he hated Tyki and the fact that he was about to rape him triggered that reflex action!

"Relax, Lavi," the Noah whispered coaxingly, resuming his position on top of Lavi again, his fingers slipping underneath Lavi's shirt and stroking his stomach lazily. Lavi whimpered as his stomach muscles began tensing uncomfortably under the surprisingly careful touch.

"Tyki…why are you…" he whispered.

"Why am I…?" Tyki prompted.

"Like when we…met…just now," Lavi explained, moaning slightly as Tyki's finger met the dip of his navel. "You're a Noah…but why are you…"

Tyki smiled softly, realizing what Lavi was trying to say. He wanted to know why Tyki was behaving so gentle with him. He suddenly felt a very slight sense of loneliness, a feeling only his White Side would experience. He shook his head to get rid of it and concentrated on teasing the boy.

"Oh God…" Lavi whispered. He couldn't deny that he was enjoying this now. But why…he knew he hated Tyki…how could he enjoy something so sinful with a man he despised?

Tyki tilted Lavi's head back and kissed him roughly again. This time Lavi responded with a fierce passion, and their tongues battled for dominance. The moment might've escalated to something a little more than just rape if Tyki had not made the mistake of forgetting that Lavi wasn't into BDSM.

**x X X x **

"Did you hear that?!" Allen gasped as a scream echoed.

"That's Lavi's scream," Kanda said, and without any hesitation, he lunged forward and sliced through the door effortlessly with Mugen. The sight was almost enough to make him back out of the room again, because the first thing he saw was Tyki straddling Lavi, who was tied to a bed with his head hanging back, the expression on his face a cross between pain and exhaustion. His neck was bleeding.

"Get off him, you sick bastard!" Kanda growled, leaping towards Tyki, brandishing Mugen.

Tyki jumped off Lavi lightly, smiling as he eyed Kanda. "So Rhode must've split already," he commented. "It's amazing how fast she gives up with Exorcist dolls."

"Shut up! What have you done to Yuukan and Andy?" Kanda snarled, pointing his katana at Tyki.

"They're just asleep, is all," Tyki said boredly, glancing at the twins. Then he smiled at Lavi. "Sorry, Lavi. Our little game will have to be postponed."

He held his hand palm up. "Tease."

A huge mass of the purple butterfly-shaped golems appeared. "Distract the Exorcists. Don't touch Lavi."

Immediately, the Tease began to attack Kanda and Allen, and completely ignored Lavi, allowing him to look at Tyki in surprise. The Noah turned to the twins and snapped his fingers. The bubble thingy around them burst and they fell to the ground with a slight thud. He glanced over at Lavi.

"I'll see you again."

And he disappeared.

"Tyki…" Lavi whispered.

"Lavi!! Are you okay?!" Allen yelled as he crushed some of the Tease with his Anti-Akuma claw.

"I…um…I'm fine," Lavi mumbled.

"Kaichu Ichigen!" Kanda yelled, and his attack destroyed the remaining Tease. "Jeez, why are the Noahs making things easy for us, dammit…"

He sheathed Mugen and headed towards Yuukan and Andy.

Allen walked over to Lavi and began undoing the knots of the rope trapping the Bookman-to-be to the bed. "Yuck, that perverted paedophile…" he muttered. "Are you seriously okay, Lavi?" he added more tenderly, almost motherly as he looked at Lavi worriedly.

"Yeah…just this…" Lavi said as his hand was freed and pointed to his neck. '_Idiot bit too hard._'

"It's bleeding so badly!" Allen said, leaning down to check it. "We've gotta get you to the hotel quick. I'll tend to this for you."

"Thanks, Allen, but there's really no need," Lavi mumbled. Then he glanced down and raised an eyebrow. "Sexy garters, by the way."

"Oh, shut up," the cursed Exorcist blushed furiously. He straightened up and looked over at Kanda, who was carrying both twins on either shoulder.

"They're completely knocked out," the samurai said indifferently. "I even hit them and they wouldn't wake up."

"You didn't!" Allen said in horror.

"Okay, I didn't," Kanda shrugged. "Let's just go."

Lavi nodded, slipping off the bed. His pants seemed to be missing, but he didn't care. The only thing he really saw was his Innocence. The small gavel lay on the floor, not just untouched, but apparently…taken care of.

'_Tyki…what do you really want from me?' _

**x X X x **

At the hotel, Lavi sat in his room, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling blankly. Allen came in.

"Lavi?" he said quietly.

Lavi glanced at him without moving his head. "Yeah?"

"You look really…sick," Allen said. "Are you sure you're okay? Did Tyki do…anything…to you?"

"I'm fine," Lavi smiled weakly. "And…he didn't. Just relax, Allen."

Allen didn't look as if he really believed the redheaded Exorcist, but he just shrugged. "If you need someone, I'm here, just remember that, okay?" he said.

"I know," Lavi nodded. "Where's Yuu?"

"He's asleep," Allen said. "With the twins. Between you and me, Lavi, they look adorable together."

"Really? Hey, I wanna see," Lavi got up excitedly and followed Allen to his room. Sure enough, Kanda was asleep, the twins by his side. The two of them had somehow or other shifted so that they seemed to be cuddling up to Kanda.

With a sudden smirk, Lavi slipped something out of his pocket. Allen blinked.

"Hey, is that…?" he said.

"Yep. Rinali's digicam," Lavi nodded, and he snapped a picture. "Rinali will love me for this."

Allen choked back a laugh. "Whatever. Go to sleep, Lavi."

"You too. Good night," Lavi said. Allen nodded, and he looked at Lavi for a short while. Then he went over to the bed and slipped into it.

Lavi returned to his own room with a sigh.

'_Do I hate Tyki for what he did? If I do, then why did I…enjoy it?' _

He stared at the ceiling again. "Maybe…I don't hate him after all," he whispered.

He spent the rest of the night gazing out of the window. But of course, not before taking a picture of the entire Kanda family asleep.

* * *

**Syaoran: **-sobs- AAAAAAHHHH!!! THAT WAS THE MOST AWFUL CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN!!!!

**Debitto: **-snorts- Toldja you should've written the lemon and had it over and done with.

**Jasdero: **Shut up, Debi. No, Syaoran, it's okay. It's not _that _bad…

**Syaoran: **IT IS!!! DON'T TRY TO CONSOLE ME!!!

**Debitto: **Ah well. The only thing to console her is reviews. –turns to R&&Rers- Go wild, people.


	18. Feeling

**Yuukan: **Um, well, due to the fact that Syaoran-niichan's currently in angsty mode and screaming her head off at the Jasdebi twins, she won't be able to be present for comments…And er… -whispers- She doesn't own D.Gray-Man, okay?

**Warning: Pretty much filler for now. Don't say I didn't warn ya.**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . E i g h t e e n – F e e l i n g .**

Allen looked across him at Lavi. He exchanged glances with the twins sitting next to the redheaded Exorcist. They raised their eyebrows at him and continued watching Lavi out of the corner of their eyes.

Lavi, completely oblivious to everyone else, was just staring out of the window.

Which naturally meant something was very, very wrong.

"Lavi," Allen said slowly. "Did you sleep last night?"

Lavi didn't turn his head, but he did look at Allen. "No. I look dead, right?"

'_Well, at least he's honest…'_

Allen laughed nervously. "Yeah, pretty much," he said.

"You want anything, Uncle Lavi?" Andy asked, poking Lavi's arm. Lavi smiled slightly and shook his head.

"No, really, I'm fine," he said.

"You don't seem to be. Especially without your bandanna, makes you look real angsty," Yuukan remarked.

Everyone blinked. No one, not even Lavi, had noticed that his bangs were falling into his face.

"Dammit! That was my favourite bandanna! Not to mention my _only _bandanna!" Lavi whined, apparently to himself, while Allen and the twins sweatdropped.

'_You think he's back? Or is he just always like this?' _the twins' eyes said to Allen.

'_I'm guessing the latter_,' Allen's own eyes replied.

Kanda was also looking out of the window. He wasn't remotely bothered by Lavi; he was far too used to Lavi's behaviour since he knew the guy for quite a long time already. But he would be lying to himself if he ever said he wasn't thinking of killing that Tyki Mikk.

As their train approached the station that they were supposed to alight, Lavi reached out and touched Allen on the arm.

"Ne, Allen," he said quietly. "Do you mind not breathing a word to Panda about this?"

Allen blinked, but he understood. "Of course I won't," he promised. Then he thought of something. "Wait, what about Rinali?"

Lavi gave him the shifty eyes look and he sighed. Both of them knew as well as anyone else that Rinali would bug them till doomsday if she didn't get the lowdown on every single thing that happened to them.

They went up to Komui's office to report what happened at Lynnfa. Komui frowned in surprise as Allen explained everything, cleverly managing to leave out what happened to Lavi.

"So there was no Innocence…just the Noahs, huh?" the supervisor said. "What were their names again?"

"Rhode Camelot and Tyki Mikk," Allen said.

"Very well," Komui said. "You may leave. Yuukan-chan, Andy-chan, how was your first mission? Did you enjoy it? Well, er, other than being captured by Tyki…"

The twins stiffened, but they smiled innocently up at Komui. "No, that was okay. It was overall…eventful," Andy said.

"We won't be able to forget it anytime soon, we promise you that," Yuukan added.

"I'm just glad you're safe," Komui said, smiling brightly.

The twins beamed at him. "We, uh, can't wait for the next one!" Yuukan said as they left the office.

As the door closed, Komui's bright smile faded. He narrowed his eyes. "Something happened."

**x X X x**

Lavi headed for the library with a heavy heart. He had done some important thinking the previous night. Even though Tyki was about to do something horrible to him, he still remembered the unnerving gentleness in the Noah's touch, as if he really regretted doing something like that. And besides the bite, he didn't really seem as if he intended to hurt him.

Lavi had gone through the entire scene in his head, and each time he wondered why a Noah would not want to kill him or hurt him since he was an Exorcist after all. Well, okay, maybe Tyki did want to _hurt _him (since when does rape not hurt?), but if so, why did he command his Tease not to touch Lavi?

Unfortunately for the Bookman-in-training, he thought about all of this so much that he didn't realize (not quite yet anyway) that he had fallen for Tyki Mikk.

Now, all he could think of was the Noah's smirk.

"You idiot apprentice!" Bookman snapped upon seeing the teen, smacking him at the side of his head. Lavi momentarily forgot all his musing and glared at the old man.

"Ow! Dammit Panda, what was _that _for?! I swear I behaved this time!" he said in annoyance.

"I don't care about your behaviour! You lost your bandanna!" Bookman scolded.

"Just because of the bandanna you smacked me fit to make a boy faint…?" Lavi face-palmed.

"How did you lose it? If you keep losing things you'll end up losing your Innocence too, and that's about all I can take from you!" Bookman said.

Lavi bit his tongue, _hard_, when he heard the old man's words. He wanted to snap that he hardly ever lost things and he didn't even know his bandanna was lost because it was over his forehead nearly all the time, so how the hell could it have jumped from his head? But he didn't want to risk a kicking from Bookman (the old guy still had strength!).

"Keh, but it's not my Innocence," Lavi finally settled for saying. "Besides…" He smirked and laced his fingers as he placed his hands at the back of his head. "I look a lot better without the bandanna, ne?"

"You look like a girl without it, all that hair in your face," Bookman retorted.

"Hey! I do not!"

Sometimes Lavi really did appreciate Bookman. Without his blunt remarks, Lavi would never be the person he was; full of feelings and emotions even though he was supposed to be an unfeeling Bookman-in-training. He felt pretty much back to normal now.

But the heart he had developed was stolen.

**x X X x**

"Oh, you're back, Tyki?" Rhode raised her eyebrows as she looked up from her homework.

"You ditched me, Rhode," Tyki said in annoyance as he tossed his top hat aside.

"Soooorry," Rhode drawled. "My dolls wanted to fight…and I just remembered I have homework. Jasdero and Debitto, as you know, are no help whatsoever, they keep drawing '5' all over my books; Skin, I don't even have to bother to ask him; Lulubell won't help _anyone _and she's getting her nails done anyway, and Master Millenium isn't here…"

"Whatever. You still ditched me."

Rhode smiled as she watched him. "Why so serious? Didn't have your way with the pretty boy after all?"

"Unfortunately, no," Tyki said. "But I'm not giving up."

"Oh, just let it go," Rhode shrugged, gazing back into her book again. "He's just another Exorcist, even he is cute…"

"No," Tyki said, bringing a cigar to his lips. "He's different."

Rhode raised an eyebrow, her grin becoming wide. "Oh? Do I detect some feeling for little Lavi?" she giggled.

"Shut up, Rhode," Tyki said indifferently. He suddenly remembered something. Reaching into his pocket, he drew out a green bandanna. He gazed at it for a long time, a smile unconsciously touching his lips. He remembered the fire in the owner of the bandanna's single green eye, the beautiful way he blushed when Tyki complimented him.

Hold on. Single green eye…

'_Maybe stealing his eyepatch should've been a better idea. Nahh…who knows what the hell's under that thing…'_

* * *


	19. Oyasumi

**Syaoran: **GAHH. I've had enough of them.

**Andy: **What did Jasdebi do this time?

**Syaoran: **It's already too much that they keep shooting stuff, but now they're bugging me twenty-four-seven…FOR NO REASON. I swear my mom and dad were looking at me as if they wanted to call the men in white jackets!

**Andy: **-sympathizes- Oh poor niichan…you know you don't own D.Gray-Man though, do you?

**Syaoran: **-shifty eyes- Like Debitto hasn't been telling me every day. If I get to prove him wrong I'll handcuff him and Jasdero and go throw them both in a trunk a million miles away from here.

**Warning: OOCness. I'm not the most pro of people in writing Kanda.**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . N i n e t e e n – O y a s u m i .**

"Kan-chan. Andy-chan. Into my room. Now."

These were the first words that came out of Lavi's mouth when Bookman was done with him. The twins exchanged looks, then nodded, then followed their uncle into his room and jumped onto his bed, making themselves comfortable.

"So you're okay now, Uncle Lavi?" Andy asked.

"I said I was fine!" Lavi sighed. "What can I do to make you believe me?"

The twins just shrugged.

"Whoops! Sorry I'm late!" someone yelled, and Rinali came flying into the room. "Here, Lavi, _Opposites_."

"About time you were done with it!" Lavi said, taking the novel with relief. "Okay, whatever. Anyway, let's see now. What other plans do we have for Operation Matchmaking?"

"Um…" the twins looked at each other. Rinali wasn't paying attention; she was checking her digicam.

"KYAAA!! Lavi!! Did you take these?!" she squealed, pointing to the two pictures of the Kanda family asleep together in the hotel.

"Well, who else?" Lavi smirked proudly. Rinali squealed again and glomped him.

"OMG, you rock!"

"Huh, I know."

The twins raised their eyebrows. '_Fangirling mode is never great for ideas…'_

"HELLO? Back to Operation Matchmaking please," Yuukan snapped.

"Oops, sorry," Rinali said. She turned to Lavi. "So, any new ideas, Mr Smartypants?"

Lavi bit his lip to think and he winced, remembering the bite he had given himself. Then he looked at the digicam screen, which was still displaying the pictures. Then he reached out to take the digicam and looked more carefully at it.

"Wait. Is Allen actually _hugging _Kanda in this?" he asked.

"LEMMESEE!" the twins yelled, nearly leaping all over each other to look. They peered at the screen, then withdrew in disappointment.

"No, that's not Mama, Uncle Lavi…that's Andy hugging Papa, and my hair all over Andy's head," Yuukan said.

"Oh," Lavi sweatdropped. "If only we got to see Allen hug Yuu-chan…that would be _priceless_!"

"Definitely," the twins and Rinali agreed. Then suddenly the Chinese girl gave yet another squeal.

"OH OH OH!! I have an idea!" she said.

"Yeah?" the guys looked at her. They looked up to her doujinshi ideas ever since the Kanda-falling-sick fiasco.

"Well, see," Rinali began, "I've got this sleeping powder thingy that's edible and can be dissolved in liquids. If we manage to get them to drink with the powder they'll fall asleep within…I dunno, half an hour or so, effective immediately. Then we can drag Allen into the same bed as Kanda!"

The boys stared at her, mouths falling into a perfect 'O' shape. "WOW…" the twins said in awe.

"Marry me Rinali," Lavi said, his eyes sparkling.

"Hardy-ha-ha," Rinali rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, not just that, but during the half an hour they're still awake, they'll be kind of…drunk, if you get what I mean." A smirk spread across her lips.

Evil Rinali is never merciful Rinali…not for the victims anyway.

**x X X x**

Dinnertime came. Rinali, being the nimble person she was, was in charge of drugging either the food or drinks for Allen and Kanda. She persuaded Jeryy to let her serve the food personally to Kanda and Allen. The cook let her without being too suspicious—since when does Jeryy the cook get suspicious anyway?

Getting Allen to eat immediately wasn't hard; he just shovelled all the food down his throat without caring exactly what it was anyway, so he was settled quickly. It was Kanda who was super alert. He raised his eyebrows when Rinali handed the soba noodles over with a huge beam on her face.

"Okay. Spill," Kanda said, eyes narrowed as he glared at Rinali.

"Spill what?" the Li sister said, her tone carefully innocent as she blinked at the samurai.

"Why did _you _give me my soba?" Kanda asked.

"What, I can't help Jeryy?" Rinali looked hurt.

"Che. If you wanted to help Jeryy, where were you the past one thousand four hundred and sixty days during mealtimes?"

'_He has a point.' _Rinali inwardly rolled her eyes before shrugging. "Why do you bother anyway? Just eat. Enjoy the meal!"

She was about to skip off towards Lavi's table when Kanda's voice froze her in her tracks. "Hold it, missy."

"Yesss?" Rinali pivoted around on her heel and smiling at Kanda.

"You didn't _cook _this, did you?" Kanda questioned suspiciously, glaring down at his soba.

"What's wrong if I cooked it?" Rinali said, her voice suddenly dangerously low and her eyes glinting. Kanda blinked upon seeing the change.

"Nothing," he said, and to further reassure Rinali, he began eating, albeit with a certain slowness.

Rinali beamed. "Good! Like I said, enjoy it. Don't you dare waste any single strand of soba."

And she went over to Lavi's table.

"Good, he's eating!" Andy said, a wicked glee in his voice.

"What about Allen-kun?" Rinali asked.

"He went to get second helpings," Lavi said. "You think we should drug the second helpings too?"

"Nahh, we don't want him to sleep too fast," Rinali shook her head. "_OR _go too mad."

The boys nodded in understanding.

"So for now, let's just enjoy our meal in peace, ne?"

**x X X x**

'_What…the…hell…did…I…eat…'_

That hazy thought ran through Allen's head as he staggered through the corridor. All through the conversation with Lavi, Rinali and the twins, he kept laughing helplessly and doing stupid things such as nearly falling over his own feet when he stood up. But what did he do to cause all these?

"Where's…my…room…?" Allen muttered to himself as he swayed around, placing a hand to his throbbing temple. "Why do all the corridors look the same…where the hell am I?"

He finally found himself leaning against a door. He wasn't too sure if it was his room or not, but he reached for the knob and carelessly let himself in. The room was dark and he could hardly see anything, and he felt as if he was going to faint any second.

He managed to find his way to the bed, and he collapsed on it with a huge sigh of relief. He closed his eyes, ready to knock himself out for the rest of the night…when something happened.

He vaguely heard the door open…he wasn't sure if he was just dreaming…then he heard footsteps, unsteady and wary, as if the person was staggering…and then…

And then someone fell on top of him.

Of course, even in his drunken, sleepy state, Allen had to open his eyes at the sudden contact.

"Whothehell…" he mumbled, peering into the darkness. He felt silky hair in his face and cold hands gripping his arms. He forced one of his arms free from the cold touch and reached up to feel the hair, as if he could tell whoever it was from it. It was long, it was dark…it could only belong to…

"Kanda?" Allen asked, his eyes going wide but still rather unfocused. The person on top of him shifted slightly and gave a little groan of pain.

"My head…" The tone of voice alone was enough to tell Allen who he was.

"Kanda!" Allen said. "What are you doing…in my…room…?"

"What the…Moyashi…" Kanda mumbled. Then he seemed to focus slightly. He gripped Allen's arm tighter. "Moyashi, what the _hell _are you doing in _my _room?"

"Your…room?" Allen repeated. "Oh…sorry…but I think I'm…drunk…"

"You too?" Kanda asked.

"You mean…you're drunk?" Allen said.

Kanda laughed, the sound slurred. "What do you think?"

"Yeah…" Allen agreed. He moved slightly. "Kanda…get off me…I need to go to my…room…"

But to his surprise, Kanda didn't. Instead, he just laughed again. "No way am I letting you get out of this room…" he said. "If you're drunk, you can't find your way to your room either…Tomorrow morning I'd find you sleeping at my door…"

"But…don't tell me I'm going to…share your bed…" Allen said awkwardly.

Kanda suddenly lifted his head, and just at that moment moonlight poured into the room through the window, casting an ethereal glow on the two of them. Allen focused slightly and he could see the samurai smirking at him, eyes half-lidded. The darkness of his long hair, carelessly undone from his hair tie and framing his face, contrasted against his pale skin.

"Why not, Moyashi?" he whispered, his face barely inches from the younger teen's.

"Kanda…" Allen whispered. "I…"

The samurai didn't allow him to continue. He leaned forward and kissed Allen hard on the lips.

Allen was stunned, but he responded quickly, slipping his free arm around Kanda's neck, pulling him closer, feeling the lean, muscular body against his. Kanda's tongue pushed past Allen's lips into his mouth, tasting him. Allen moaned slightly, his parted lips allowing the samurai to manipulate his tongue. They remained that way for a few moments, then they broke apart, breathing hard, feeling as if they'd just ran for miles.

"Kanda…you just…" Allen blinked.

"Kissed you?" Kanda said. He shrugged. "So what? You kissed me before."

Allen could feel heat spreading in his cheeks at the blunt comment. Then he noticed something. "Are you really drunk?" he asked.

"Not anymore," the samurai said. He smirked at Allen. "Night, Moyashi."

"Um…" Allen said, suddenly feeling a lot happier than he could ever be. He nudged Kanda. "You really have to get off me. We can't go to sleep like this."

"Why not?" Kanda said again, but he did roll off Allen.

"Kanda?"

The samurai's eyes were closed, but he mumbled, "Hn?"

"Oyasumi nasai."

Kanda opened his eyes in surprise. "Where did you learn that?"

"The twins," Allen replied sleepily.

"The twins, huh…" Kanda muttered. Allen pursed his lips slightly.

"Ne, Kanda," he said. "Can't we just…you know…_really _be their parents?"

"Explain, Moyashi."

"If you realized," Allen said. "The twins, Lavi and Rinali have been together a lot lately because…well…they were trying to pair us up."

"I noticed," Kanda said darkly. "You wouldn't wear Rinali's Halloween costume otherwise."

"Yeah," Allen said. "So…" He fumbled awkwardly, not knowing exactly how to phrase it.

"I get what you want to say," the samurai muttered.

"And…?"

"And…whatever. Just go to sleep, Moyashi."

Allen grinned and nodded before finally sleeping with real peace for the first time since he stepped foot in the Order.

* * *

**Syaoran: **In case you didn't really notice, I've just gotten Kanda and Allen together. _Really _together.

**Andy: **You're _really _getting D.Gray-Man writer's block, aren't ya?

**Syaoran: **SHH!


	20. A Bit About Kanda

**Syaoran: **Thank you so much, Pathia-chan, for Tyki, but I'm not sure exactly how he helps me in getting ideas when he's trying to stop the Jasdebi twins from disturbing me.

**Debitto: **We'll be back, just you wait! Get lost Tyki, go back to that Pathia gal, you don't belong here.

**Tyki: **It isn't a matter of belonging, Debitto. I'm not going back till Pathia says so.

**Jasdero: **-shifty eyes && smirking- Or when you're done with a certain redhead covered in confectionery, but never mind that.

**Tyki: **HEY! –hits-

**Jasdebi twins: **-ducking && giggling maniacally-

**Syaoran: **As I was saying. –sighs- Okay, so if I don't own D.Gray-Man I won't own these psychos so I gladly relinquish my desire.

**Debitto: **-snorts- As if. Jas and I are your _muses_. We know what goes on in your head, bitch.

**Syaoran: **That's IT!! Tyki, stay back—Jamie, GO!

**Jasdero: **I did nothing! –waves at Jamie- Hey boy, go get Debi!

**Debitto: **Nyah-nyah, can't catch me! –sticks out tongue-

**Tyki: **…Debitto likes your wolf.

**Syaoran: **AHHHHHH!!!

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y – A . B i t . A b o u t . K a n d a .**

Allen woke up the next morning with a vast yawn that nearly split his mouth. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly sat up, and immediately cringed as his temple throbbed with pain as well as the surprisingly painful grip on his body.

"Mm…" he mumbled, glancing over at Kanda, who was still asleep but apparently not realizing that he was using Allen's body as a hugging pillow.

With a grin, he lay back down and poked Kanda on the nose. "Kanda…" he whispered.

"Hn," the dark-haired Exorcist frowned at the sudden probing, and he did the most adorable thing ever.

He twitched his nose.

It was all Allen could do to stop himself from squealing fangirlishly (did I just use the word fangirlish? O.o). Instead, he took a deep swallow and poked Kanda again.

"Stop…that…" Kanda mumbled, slowly opening his eyes and finding himself staring into Allen's grey orbs.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Allen grinned.

Kanda tried to scowl. "I'm not a sleeping _beauty_," he said.

"If you don't think you are, you should see yourself when you're asleep," Allen said, reaching out to poke Kanda again, but the samurai caught his wrist before he could proceed any further and touched his lips with the younger teen's fingers.

"I didn't know your skin is so soft," he muttered, almost to himself.

"Well of course not. You spend so much time trying to stay _away _from me," Allen smiled. Then the smile faded as he lifted his left hand. "But this hand is far from soft. It's…awful."

Kanda sat up and took the deformed hand in his curiously, running his fingers over it. It was definitely strange to feel, all scaly and cool to the touch. But he wasn't disgusted by it.

"It's not awful," he said. "It's just different. Unique. Whatever."

Allen laughed at the way Kanda said it. "You're weird, Kanda."

"Not as weird as you are, Moyashi."

"Will you stop _calling _me that? Jeez, I've always hated that nickname!" Allen pouted.

"It's not a nickname," Kanda smirked. "It's a pet name."

The cursed Exorcist gave him a shifty look. "Since when is 'beansprout' a pet name?"

Kanda pulled him close, his smirk only becoming wider. "Since you became mine."

Allen blushed as he smiled. "I'm…yours now?" he said. "What happened to 'whatever'?"

"Whatever can mean anything. It can mean yes, it can mean no, it can mean I don't bother what the fuck you're talking about," the samurai said plainly.

"So which is it?"

Kanda gave Allen a 'Are-you-kidding-me-you-clueless-beansprout?' expression and he laughed, slipping his arms around the older teen's neck and leaning his head against his chest.

"OMG THAT'S SO KAWAII YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER!!!!"

"Ohshit," Kanda muttered, and Allen could tell why. Rinali was standing in the doorway snapping pictures so fast, the boys wondered if they should be posing for her.

Lavi, Yuukan and Andy poked their heads around the doorway as well, Lavi grinning widely while the twins were pouting.

"So, boys, mind paying what ya owe me?" their redheaded uncle smirked.

Allen's jaw dropped and Kanda's eye twitched as the twins grumbled, handing over some money to Lavi. "We never thought the drug could crack Papa!" the two whined.

"Lavi. Are you saying that you bet the TWINS that we would get together?" Kanda said, his voice very dangerously low. Allen blinked. Should he escape or should he just stay?

"Um…" Lavi scratched his cheek. "Gotta go!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU DAMNED RABBIT!"

Allen and the twins sweatdropped as Lavi took off with a deranged-looking samurai at his heels brandishing Mugen (where did he get it?)

"Mama! You and Papa are together now, right?" Andy demanded, bouncing into the room and leaping onto Kanda's bed next to Allen.

"Well, yeah, I suppose you could say that…" Allen said, blushing.

"YAY!!! It was worth losing the money if you and Papa are together now!" Andy cheered.

Allen narrowed his eyes. "First of all, how the heck did you get your hands on money?" he asked sternly.

"Um…the money isn't really ours…" Yuukan said; he'd just entered the room and sat next to Andy as well. The two of them exchanged guilty expressions.

"I don't want to hear anymore," Allen sighed.

**x X X x**

As they went down to breakfast, everyone almost swooned at the sight of the Kanda family (which was what everyone had taken fondly to calling the four) walking together, Kanda's arm wrapped around Allen's waist and the twins jumping and hopping in front of them.

But nobody dared to comment, especially due to the fact that Kanda still had a death glare fit to make people run for their lives screaming bloody murder even if he had softened up to Allen.

"Ne, Allen," Lavi came up to the Kanda table; thank goodness the samurai wasn't trying to kill him now due to the fact that the twins had explained everything. (Don't you just love how the twins can wrap their daddy around their finger? **n.n**) "Komui told me to give you a package thingy."

Allen blinked as the Bookman-to-be held out a parcel to him. He took it, gazing at it, feeling it to see what it was, but he couldn't tell.

"What is it?" he asked.

Lavi shrugged. "Like hell I'd know. Komui says it's Akuma-, Noah- and Millenium Earl-free though, so it's probably something from somebody you know."

Allen sweatdropped. '_Which would equal to…nobody?_'

"Huh…" he muttered. "I'll check it later." He placed it beside him.

"Oh c'mon, Allen, why can't you open it now?" Lavi asked, frowning.

"Why must I open it now?"

"Eh? …Well, I don't know. But I love seeing whatever anyone gets, Yuu-chan always gets the most ridiculous stuff from back home. You know, the other day when Komui gave me a package to give to him I kinda opened it and—" the redheaded teen said blithely, but was interrupted by Kanda.

"_You did what?_"

Lavi blinked, realizing exactly what he just said. "Uh…I didn't mean that…I meant…em…ehehe…" He looked extremely much like Miranda all of a sudden. "I don't know what I mean."

"Uncle Lavi's gonna dieeee…" the twins both chanted absently as they ate.

But before the samurai could drive Mugen through the bunny, Allen said, "Back home? Kanda, you have a family??"

Kanda blinked, then rolled his eyes. "Che. Of course I have a family. What do you think, I fell from the sky?" he said.

Allen smiled. "Someone like you would seem like it," he said idly. Then he pouted. "Why haven't you told me about your family?"

Kanda glared at him. "What about you?"

Allen sighed and raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you _really _want to know about Master Cross, of all people?"

The samurai sweatdropped at the rationality of the question.

"I'm talking about your father," he said shortly. "Mana Walker."

Allen stiffened, then smiled a weird kind of smile. "I don't know much about Mana," he said quietly. "All I can remember now is that he found me on Christmas Day. And that I turned him into an Akuma when he died. And I killed the Akuma he became. End of."

The twins, Kanda and Lavi thought through his words in silence. Then Allen beamed and turned to Kanda.

"So tell me, who do you have in your family?" The silver-haired teen looked so eager and childish that he hardly looked any different from Andy except for hair colour. The twins were stll a bit uncomfortable about the way Allen had spoken about Mana, but they also turned to Kanda, their faces full of interest at knowing about Papa's family.

"Kisaka, Nakire, Rinyue and Rufan," Kanda muttered, wincing slightly, as if the mere mention of the names pained him.

The others just stared at him.

"Ne, Papa," Yuukan said sweetly. "Mind explaining _who _Kisaka, Nakire, Rinyue and Rufan are?"

"Kisaka and Nakire are twins, they're Yuu-chan's older siblings," Lavi provided helpfully. "Rinyue is his stepmother, and Rufan is his little stepsister."

"Seriously Lavi, how do _you _know so much about Kanda's family?" Allen asked suspiciously. "I have this very uncomfortable feeling you have a much different relationship with him than I first thought."

"Oh, please!" Lavi rolled his eyes. "We're nothing more than best friends. Well, me to him, he doesn't need one, huh, Yuu? Anyway, this one was easy to find out about, I was eavesdropping on one of their super-rare telephone conversations a long time ago. When we were what? Fourteen? Fifteen? Somewhere there. Around the time Yuu-chan still _cared _about his family."

"You don't care about them anymore?" Allen and the twins exclaimed, gazing accusingly at Kanda. He rolled his eyes.

"When you have a family like mine you tend to do that often," he said. "But I don't not care about them."

"How old are they?" Andy asked with interest.

"Kisaka-nii and Nakire-aneki are twenty," Kanda said, his eyes glazing over slightly. "Rufan-imouto is thirteen."

"And Rinyue?" the twins prompted impatiently.

"Why do you need to know how old _she _is?"

"She's your stepmother."

"And I care about that, why?"

"Yuu is mean about his stepmother," Lavi said idly. "He reveres his own mom and doesn't like anyone else who try to take her place. But he's got a soft spot for Rufan."

"I'm never letting you near a phone when I'm talking to them, ever again," Kanda snapped at him.

"What?! I just record history!"

"Well, anything about my family isn't 'history'," the samurai said irritably.

"But your family is the only thing interesting about my job," Lavi grinned. "Lets me know a bit more about Yuu…"

"Well, it's good that he knows so much, I can't get anything out of you," Allen said. Then he tilted his head. "Can we meet your family?"

Kanda literally choked on his soba when he heard that. "Why?!" he said, coughing.

"Because…they're your family," Allen mused, tapping his chin. "And I'm very sure the twins would love to know more about their father's background since their…mother…doesn't exactly have any."

"If they weren't so corrupted I would probably consider," the samurai muttered.

"Hello? We are the _epitome _of corrupted here," Yuukan smirked, patting Lavi on the arm. "Thanks to a certain uncle of ours."

Kanda groaned. There was no backing out of this, was there?

* * *

**Syaoran: **So yay. Kanda's gonna bring Allen and the twins to meet his family… 

**Kanda: **What's the point in that? It's not like Moyashi and I are engaged or anything.

**Syaoran: **-smirks secretly-

**Kanda: **Shit.

**Syaoran: **Ohh, Kanda-pon, don't worry. I'm not going to do anything mean to you.

**Kanda: **-shifty eyes- Riiight.

**Syaoran: **BTW, sorry to those people who also read Saya-Sama's **A Promise Is Made To Be Kept**, because this Kanda family of mine means that there's going to be some confusion…gomen ne:x


	21. Kanda Yuu Has A Psycho Family?

**Syaoran: **-plotting-

**Lavi: **-happens to wander by, staggering- Hey, Shasha-chan…you have any…er…painkillers?

**Syaoran: **-blinks- No. –narrows eyes- Nothing that'll cure the pain of virginity-loss, though.

**Lavi: **…Damn Tyki. –wanders away again-

**Andy&&Yuukan: **-sighs- Poor Uncle Lavi.

**Syaoran: **Never mind him. He deserves it anyway, disturbing Kanda so much and corrupting you guys and everything. –goes back to creating OCs-

**I own the story but not the characters for they are but dolls to manipulate in my twisted fanfiction. xD**

**And many apologies if the conversation seems to be copying off Saya-Sama's. It's not meant to be, though!! TT-TT**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y . O n e – K a n d a . Y u u . H a s . A . P s y c h o . F a m i l y ?!**

-Kanda's POV-

Since Komui found it quite okay to let Kanda go back to Japan to meet his family (he's another one of the Yuukan-and-Andy 'shippers, bless them), Kanda had to contact his family to inform them. He fumbled for the number for a while, then waited for the call to go through.

_Click. _"Eh…KISAKA-NII!! Not now, I'm answering the phone!" He heard someone yell. "Moshi moshi, Kanda residence—ANIKI!!—gomenasai…Rufan-hime-sama speaking!"

"Jeez, gaki, a telephone's used for hearing people clearly, not to deafen whoever's on the line," Kanda said. "And princess? Not by a long shot."

"Are?! I know that voice! Oh that voice is sooo familiar—"

"Rufan—"

"—But no way José, it's been four years—"

"Rufan—"

"—He'd probably sound like an old man now—"

"RUFAN. It's me."

There was a long pause. Kanda gazed at the phone, wondering if the line had been cut. Then he remembered something.

'_Ohdearshit._'

Before he could scramble for cover…

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYUUUUUUUUUUUNIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!**"

Allen and the twins ran into the room in shock.

"OMFGosh, did someone _die _in here or something?!" Yuukan yelled.

"No, it's my imouto," Kanda sighed irritably, pressing a finger to his aching temples.

'_How could I forget that Rufan has lungs of steel?_'

"OMGOMGOMG RU-CHAN DID YOU SAY YUU?!?!?!?!?!" twin voices joined in, sounding stupefied.

'_Them too._'

Kanda almost regretted saying the next few words. "Yeah, it's me," he muttered with a world-weary sigh.

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! Cruel little boy, you haven't called in four years! FOUR YEARS!!" he heard his older sister Nakire yell.

"I know, and I'm _not _sorry," he said unfeelingly.

"Yeah, well, if you _were _sorry, that means you've been killed and taken over by…what? Akuma, they're called, those pathetic creatures you have to fight all the time?" Nakire's twin, Kisaka, snorted. "So what makes you call? Must be a life-and-death situation, you wouldn't call otherwise. Go tell Kaa-san, Ru-chan! Oh wait, she's not in…"

"Nothing like that," Kanda snapped. "…I'm coming to Japan."

Silence.

"AAAAAAAAHHHH!! BANZAI!! YUU-CHAN'S COMING HOME!!!!"

"It's only for about a couple of days, don't get too excited. I have some…people who want to meet you."

'_You can probably tell I don't want _YOU _to meet them._'

"Le gasp! Yuu-chan's gonna bring home his wife!" Kisaka breathed.

It took all of the samurai's mental strength not to bang his head against the wall.

"Could you just quit making assumptions? And what's with the French?" he asked.

"Oh, well, we stayed at America a couple of months last year, to test our English," Rufan explained. "Too bad you weren't there, Yuu-nii, it was so fun!"

"Yeah, and I bet you picked up some funky language," Kanda said dryly. "Whatever."

"So spill, baby bro! Who are we gonna be meeting?!" Nakire said impatiently.

_Baby bro?_

"My lover…and some kids…" Kanda mumbled.

"YUU! I know we taught you some evil things in our time, but having illegitimate children isn't one of them!" Nakire chided. "Well, so she's your girlfriend! What's the name?!"

"Allen Walker…?"

"Eto…Arren Wa—_British?! _Kami, Yuu-chan, you got yourself a foreigner, nice going! So Allen…eh…wait…" There seemed to be some confusion. Then Kanda heard Kisaka saying in the background. "Ne, wasn't that flight attendant we met named Allen?"

"Yeah," the girls said. "But he's a guy…"

Silence again.

'_Here we go._'

'EHHHHHHHHHHHH?! Yuu, you're a…you're a…you're a you're a you're a…"

"Homosexual, yes." No point beating about the bush if Allen's gonna be meeting them…

Yet some more silence.

"Damn—close your ears Yuu!" Kisaka yelled.

"Why—"

"**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!**"

Two very strong, very high-pitched female voices screamed over the receiver. Allen and the twins, who were both trying to listen in on the conversation, shrank back in noticeable fear.

As for Kanda, his ears were ringing super hard.

"Thanks…for the warning…Kisaka-nii…" he mumbled.

"No problem," Kisaka said cheerily. "Got myself earplugs for this purpose, ya know? Ever since the gals started dabbling in yaoi and shounen ai and whatnot…they're total fujyoshi now…I don't dare go to their room for fear of seeing weird, weird things, but no worries, bro! I'm no homophob, you can do what you like with Allen-chan! I don't know what Kaa-san might say though…but I daresay she'd be cool with it too, since she let the gals have their doujin…"

Kanda sweatdropped as he saw Allen and the twins stare at him with hanging jaws.

"OMGOMGOMG!! Yuu-chan, you MUST come back home RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!" Nakire demanded excitedly. "And you MUST ABSOLUTELY bring Allen-chan with you!! If you don't I'll slash my katana through you, I still have some skill!"

"But it must definitely be a new guy, huh, Nakire-aneki, because I've only heard of the Lavi guy…ne, Yuu-nii, what happened to him?" Rufan asked.

"Oh, the baka usagi? He died," the samurai said shortly.

"Kanda, that's not nice!" Allen finally found a chance to interrupt.

Silence for the fourth time.

"Yuu…IS THAT ALLEN?"

Kanda blinked. "Uh, no. That was…uh…Rinali. You remember Rinali; Chinese, short, clingy aniki, big yaoi fan too—"

"I am NOT Rinali, now give me that phone," Allen snapped, grabbing the receiver from Kanda.

"Um, hi? This is Allen Walker."

-Allen's POV-

"KYAAAAAAA!! TOTEMO KAWAII DESU NE!!!" a girl squealed. Allen guessed that it was Rufan.

"He can't understand Japanese, idiot! Ahem, yo, Allen-chan, that was the very annoying chipmunk of the family, Rufan, don't mind her, she's that noisy all the time, you'll get used to her eventually. I'm Kisaka, Kanda's rugged, charismatic older brother who shall forever be a hell lot better than that effeminate kid," a man said in an easygoing attitude that Allen recognized—Lavi had it too. "Please forgive Yuu-chan for raping you thus troubling you with the little bastards—"

SMACK. Allen blinked as he heard a woman cursing, then he heard her voice clearly over the phone.

"Go screw yourself, dickhead. Um, heya, this is Nakire, Yuu's older sister and unfortunately twin of the asswipe who just spoke to ya, hehe…"

"Um, it's okay," Allen said. "But Kanda didn't rape me…"

"Eh? He didn't? Then how'd ya end up with illegitimate kids?"

Allen sweatdropped. "Let's just say it's a really long story," he said. "Anyway, uh, Kanda, the twins and I are coming to meet you. Is that okay?"

"Okay?! We haven't seen the little grouch for six years and now he's coming back with his lover and children? Whaddaya think?!"

"Ehehe," Allen said, scratching the back of his head. "Your mother Rinyue won't mind, will she?"

"Kaa-san loves Yuu-nii, so she won't mind!" Rufan said happily.

"Well, um, can't wait to meet you," Allen smiled.

"Same here. You sound really cute, Allen-chan, you must be even cuter in appearance, ne?!"

"Oh, I don't think so…"

"Nonsense, you definitely must be. Hey, mind putting us back ta Yuu-chan? Got a few things to say to him. Not communicating for so long and all, sorry 'bout that…"

"Sure," the cursed Exorcist said, handing over the receiver back to Kanda. "Your family seems fun," he grinned.

Kanda made a face. "Yeah right," he snorted before putting the receiver to his ear. "What?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'YEAH RIGHT'?!" Allen could hear the three siblings yell together indignantly.

He watched in amusement as Kanda mumbled "Hai" from time to time and occasionally made retorts. Finally he sighed.

"Do I have to?" he said in annoyance.

"Yes!"

The samurai facepalmed. "Fine. I love you three even if I act like I don't—_I really don't though_—even you two Devil's twin incarnates."

"Hey! That's us!" Andy said indignantly.

"My bad. Uh…you two Level 4 Akuma," Kanda corrected, rolling his eyes.

"Damn straight!" Nakire and Kisaka declared proudly. "So Yuu-chan, we'll go tell Kaa-san, okay? Ja!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kanda said, hanging up with relief. He cast a dirty look at Allen.

"Fun family, my ass," he said. "Lavi would fit in a heck lot better with them."

"But they're fun!" Yuukan said. "We didn't talk to them but they sound so cool! They're like, three versions of Uncle Lavi and Auntie Rinali mixed together!"

"You must've had a great childhood," Allen smirked. Then he remembered. "Hey, why do your twin siblings call Rinyue 'Kaa-san' if she's your stepmother? You don't call her that."

"Because they accepted her, the traitors," Kanda pouted. "They kept saying that Okaa-san is gone, so might as well accept Rinyue in her place. But I'm not going to do that anytime soon."

Allen sighed. "I suppose," he said. Then he smiled at the twins.

"How do you guys feel about meeting your real uncle and aunts, and grandmother?" he asked.

"SO COOL!!" the twins beamed.

"We're not married yet, Moyashi," Kanda said, raising an eyebrow at the silver-haired teen.

"So? Illegitimacy doesn't mean those can't be the terms for your family to the twins," Allen said logically. "Hey, why can't Lavi come with us?"

"Because if too many Exorcists go, there'll be too little to go on missions," Kanda replied boredly. "Duh, Moyashi, duh."

Allen sweatdropped. "Okay."

He looked at the twins. "All right boys. Start packing!"

"YAY!" The twins took off.

* * *

**Syaoran: **AH…well, at least the Kanda family went off quite well. Now all I need is to fix Rinyue properly. Things are going to get angsty with her, though, so watch out! 


	22. One With The Sky

**Syaoran: **Muahaha…I'ma enjoying creating Kanda's siblings! xD Well, how NOT to enjoy it, they're so crazy it's cool! Well, at least writing these new OCs is something a little more fun than my oneshot, HALLELUJAH CHANCE…that was the saddest hetero (somewhat) fic I ever wrote. TT-TT

Anyway, I'm so sorry if this chapter doesn't make sense, but I just feel like skipping all the way to when they arrive in Japan. I'm SUCH a noob… --;

**I own the story but not the characters for they are but dolls to manipulate in my twisted fanfiction. xD**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y . T w o – O n e . W i t h . T h e . S k y .**

Lavi and Rinali pouted. "Mou…you're going to go to Japan without us," Lavi said enviously.

"Don't worry Uncle Lavi, we'll be back soon, it's only for a few days. Besides, we promise to bring home LOTS of souvenirs, okay?" Andy beamed at him.

"Good! Now don't you forget that," Lavi said, grinning wide. Then he turned to Kanda. "But it's so unfair! I know your family!—somewhat anyway—So why can't I come too?!"

Kanda rolled his eyes. "What could happen if you come with us? Oh, let me think…hmm…chaos, for one thing, disaster for another, catastrophe for third," he said flatly.

"Why?"

"You know, Lavi, I think it _is _better than you're not coming with us," Allen said. He rubbed his thumbs together. "Er…Kisaka-san…seems kind of…like you, I daresay…and I've never seen the result if two Lavis are in the same room before…but I _sure _don't wanna find out."

Rinali had bent down to say goodbye to the twins, who suddenly looked a little sad. But when she stood up again, they were smiling slightly.

"What happened with you guys?" Allen asked, stroking Yuukan's long hair affectionately. It was a habit for him now.

"Auntie Rinali says that she'll miss us," his precious samurai chibi said, pursing his lips. "Even though it's only for a short while."

"I have a weird feeling something might happen when you're in Japan," Rinali explained. "Strange stuff always happens around this time, so I really, really hope you'll look out for trouble when you're there."

"Don't worry, Rinali, we'll take care of ourselves," Allen smiled assuringly. "I promise you I'll keep the twins alive. For sure!" He grinned. Rinali smiled back.

"Oh, hey, you boys," she said.

"Yes?" the twins blinked up at her.

"Bring me souvenirs too!!"

The parents facepalmed. _Same old Rinali…_

**x X X x**

"Why can't we take the train this time?" Yuukan demanded.

"Because, honey, taking a plane is faster. Besides, no train goes to Japan from here," Allen said patiently.

Yuukan frowned suspiciously. "Yeah…but isn't there a better way to get there? Partly 'cuz it has more chance of being safe, and partly 'cuz…well…Andy's squeezing my hand hard enough to make blood come out!" he whined.

Beside him, Andy was staring straight ahead, his eyes very wide, his eyebrows narrowed and his lips firmly pressed together, giving everyone the impression he had just seen something that he shouldn't have plus Kanda's death glare.

"Andy, what's up with you?" Kanda asked, reaching out to put his hand on the Allen-lookalike's head. It was sometimes creepy how similar they looked. Was this how the Moyashi used to look like before the shock of turning his father into an Akuma turned his hair as pale as that?

"Plane. Flies. Air. Very. Scary." Andy bit out, not ever dropping his expression of a mix between utter terror and utter homicidal-ity. Yuukan suddenly winced and let out a slightly choked kind of croak, and without looking Allen and Kanda knew that Andy was squeezing his hand tighter.

"Andy…why the hell have you not told me that you have a weird phobia of flying?" the silver-haired twin gasped out.

"Don't. Know. Have. Phobia." …Helpful response.

"Well, relax," Allen said. "It's not very scary. I've taken a plane before, with Master Cross."

Andy just narrowed his eyes further.

"It's impossible to calm him down if he's like this," Yuukan whimpered. "Ow, shit, Andy, my hand seriously can't it anymore. You're squeezing with your _Anti-Akuma _hand!!"

"Sor. Ry." Yuukan let out a small sigh of relief.

"Flight 137 to Japan now boarding," an announcement over the PA system…announced.

"Good, that's our flight," Allen said. He glanced over at Kanda. "You're not afraid of flying either, are you?"

For said samurai was staring at something, Allen wasn't sure what, with almost the same expression as Andy. He snapped out of it at Allen's question.

"What? Che. Of course not," he said dismissively. "C'mon, Moyashi, shounen, let's go."

They began walking, the twins (Yuukan anyway) looking up at their father in surprise.

"Why are you calling us shounen?" Yuukan asked.

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "So what do you want me to call you? Shoujo?"

The chibi samurai sweatdropped. "No…"

**x X X x**

Andy and Yuukan both looked out of the window. They got aisle seats, so they got to see the view on the outside.

"Sugoi…" both said in awe.

Allen, who was sitting right behind them, sweatdropped. "We haven't even gotten off the ground yet, boys."

Both of them threw him shifty-eyed looks.

"Che. Excuse us for having never seen airplanes before," he said, exchanging looks with Andy, who nodded in agreement to his comment.

Andy had apparently recovered from his phobia as soon as he sat down, because he'd let out a huge breath and let go of Yuukan's hand, then glanced out of the window. Then turned his head fully to look out of the window.

"Sorry, it just seems rather weird to start gawking when we're not yet in the sky," Allen smiled. "I just hope you two won't scream when we do ascend."

"We won't, we promise," Andy said. "Airplanes are just so cool."

"So I take it you're fine now?"

"…Yeah. Kinda. Don't laugh at me Kan-chan!"

"Okay, so remember not to scream."

"Wakaru, wakaru…"

---

"AAAAAHHHHH!!"

Kanda raised an eyebrow at Allen. "Since when do you actually _trust _the twins not to do something? I know I never did."

**x X X x**

Other than Andy and Yuukan attracting a lot of stewardesses' attention and devotion, not much happened on the plane, surprisingly. Both Allen and Kanda became very distracted by the personal TVs (or whatever they're called) that were attached to the back of each seat so that the person behind could use them, and for practically the entire afternoon of the flight, they were busy with the tech gadget.

So the twins decided to plan something for their lovely parents.

"Ne, Kan-chan. Got any ideas?"

"Hn? What? Oh, you mean for Mama and Papa. Uh…"

"…Even without you saying anything I know you don't have any ideas. Hmph."

"Do too. I'm just thinking of what might happen."

Ten minutes later…

"Okay. I lied. I got nothing."

"…"

"Really."

"…Whatever. _I _have a plan. Help me call that nice stewardess, will ya?"

"Who? Francissa, Matilda or Victoria? I forget."

"Neither. It's Jane. There, right there."

"Oh. Ooooh. Okay. –whispers- Hey! Hey, Jane-san?"

"You can talk normally, Kan-chan. Mama and Papa are currently deaf."

"Eh? Oh, good. JANE-SAN!"

Stewardess scurried over.

"Yes, Yuukan-sama—I mean, Yuukan-san?"

"Ah, Jane-san, do you mind doing us a favour? –beams-"

"Kyaa…of course, Yuukan-san!"

"Andy?"

"Ah, yes. When you distribute blankets for sleeping later, do you mind giving the two onii-chan over there just one?"

"Eh?? Why? They don't look very close."

"…-sniggers- Trust us, they're a heck lot closer than ya think."

"Ooh. Of course, Yuukan-san, Andy-san, anything for you."

"Thanks a lot, Jane-san!"

Stewardess scurried away.

"What are you planning, Andy?"

"You'll find out."

'_The fun always starts at night_.'

**x X X x**

"Excuse me…uh…Jane-san? You only gave us one blanket," Allen said to the stewardess who had an odd smile on her face reminding him very much of Rinali.

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry, but that's all we have," she apologized. "We're supposed to have the correct number of blankets but this time we have one short. I'm really very sorry, you may file a complaint if you wish."

Allen glanced down at the single blanket, then glanced at Kanda, who wasn't paying attention. With a sigh, he smiled at Jane and said, "It's all right, Jane-san. We'll make do with this."

"Okay!" Jane's response was a tad more than excited and she practically skipped away. Allen raised an eyebrow after her disappearing back, then looked at Kanda, who was still very engrossed in watching the samurai movie on his TV screen.

He leaned forward and poked him on the arm. "Kanda."

The samurai, grumbling slightly, pulled off the headphones he was wearing. "What, Moyashi?"

"We only have one blanket."

Raised eyebrow. "So?"

Allen barely resisted the urge to smack Kanda at the side of his head. "We'll have to share."

Kanda blinked once, then he smiled. As in, really smile, not a smirk or anything. Allen almost lost himself in the smile, he was so awestruck. The smile was not perfect, of course; it was somewhat crooked, as if the samurai had slight difficulty actually doing it, and the corner of his lip rose a little higher than the other. But what Allen really noticed was how _white _Kanda's teeth were.

"Wow…" he whispered. "Your teeth…are so perfect."

"Che, of course. I hate sweets."

"So are you saying that if a person only eats soba and tempura he'll have perfect white teeth?"

"Kinda."

"…Such boring tastebuds."

Kanda reached out to ruffle Allen's hair affectionately. "Not really. My tastes are just very simple," he grinned.

"How do you not suffer from malnutrition like that?" Allen groaned.

"Che, Rinyue says that all the time."

"Maybe you should try to listen to it."

"No way. Soba and tempura are my life," Kanda said dismissively. "Go to sleep, Moyashi."

"I can't," Allen pouted. "We only have one blanket, and it's only just so big. It can only fit one person."

Kanda gave him a skeptical look. "Oh really?"

In one quick movement, he'd slipped his arm around Allen and yanked him forward so that the smaller teen fell right into his lap with a little squeak of surprise.

"K-Kanda…what are you doing?" he asked, his voice suddenly rather soprano.

"Sharing a blanket with you," the samurai said innocently, pulling said object around both of them, one arm around Allen the entire time.

"But…but…" Allen blinked, completely caught off guard now. Why was he suddenly so speechless?

Kanda smirked at him. "Don't worry. I won't rape you."

Allen blushed hard, pouting and closing his eyes. 'Won't rape you…_what nonsense! Of course you won't!_'

Then he felt a hot breath at his ear, tickling the lobe, and Kanda's voice whispering huskily, "_Yet._"

If it was possible to blush even more furiously, Allen's temperature would be nothing short of volcano magma.

He opened his eyes slowly to peek at Kanda, who was inwardly laughing evilly at torturing poor little Moyashi.

Then he surprised the samurai with a little question of his own.

"Do you really mean that?"

Kanda blinked, all signs of inwardly laughing gone. Allen himself smirked secretly at what he saw, but tried to act as innocent as possible.

"What…do you mean?" Kanda asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you said you won't rape me yet. Which means you _will _one day. Do you mean it?" Allen asked, still looking innocent.

"Uh…well…" Kanda looked pretty much like a goldfish now; he wasn't really sure _exactly _how to answer Allen's question.

"You can't rape the willing, Papa," two voices chimed from in front.

Blinking, both parents looked at their twin boys in confusion. "Where did you learn that?"

A hand shot up, and with it was a book. "_The Fine Line _by N.H. Arawn, Auntie Rinali lent it ta us!"

Allen's eyes narrowed. "Is that book M-rated?"

"Uh…em…no?"

"Give it to me."

"NO! Aw man! We wanna give it to Auntie Nakire and Auntie Rufan!"

"Well, don't you worry, _I'll _give it to them courtesy of you," Allen said sweetly. "Hand it over."

With a lot of grumbling, the book was tossed over to him. Allen held it up with a raised eyebrow. '_Knowing Rinali this must have a _lot _of smut. Not that I'm…er…really complaining because she's got a rage worse than Kanda sometimes, but this is _Yuukan and Andy _we're talking about here._'

"Are you going to sleep or not, Moyashi?" Kanda asked irritably.

"Not right now. I have a little reading I wanna do."

* * *

**Syaoran: **MUAHAHA! Allen is reading _The Fine Line_! He's gonna be in for a horny night! xD And for all you Yullen fans, you MUST read _The Fine Line _by N.H. Arawn, it frikkin' rocks and deserves a lot more reviews than the number Niamh-chan has currently gotten. But if you HATE any pairing other than LUCKY, it's…well, not really for you, because currently there's a bit of a relationship between the OC, Sable, and Lavi. But Sable ROCKS, I tell ya! ROCKS!! xD 


	23. Guilty As Charged

**Syaoran: **Errrrrrr. My greatest apologies, darlings. The reason for my incredibly horrifically despicably ridiculously stupidly doltishly utterly tardily tardy update is because I've been dead for the past three months. Only now I was able to be revived due to my grave being opened up, thus allowing me to see the world again in its glorious light.

**Debitto: **-coughs- _Drama queen! _–coughs-

**Syaoran: **-deathglares, Debitto whistles while looking away- ANYWAY. Ahem. I figured that the only way to redeem myself is to write the twenty-third chapter of **Boys Will Be Boys **–RANDOM APPLAUSE- so, well, that's what I'm gonna do now! Yippee :D But be warned, darlings, that I have **VERY LIMITED COMPUTER TIME. **In fact, the only reason why I can even update right now is because I am in the midst of SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. Bleh. Oh, and since I haven't seen my **BWBB **baby for so long, I kinda forgot what ideas I wanted to write so this will be somewhat a filler too. O.o

**Jasdero: **See, that's why she can't own D.Gray-Man. If everyone doesn't get their weekly dosage of us, _they'll _be the ones shooting Syaoran to death. –cackles-

**Syaoran: **-deathglares again- Bitch.

**WARNING! **_Due to the fact that Syaoran was being a bitch and chickening out on the LUCKY goodness, she's decided to reward you guys for being so patient with…A YULLEN LEMON. _8D

Oh yeah. **Rejoice**, mah lovahs. xP

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y . T h r e e – G u i l t y . A s . C h a r g e d .**

'_Oh. My. Shit._'

Allen really isn't one to curse so much, being the sweet British boy he is. But OMG, how could he not do that if he was reading _The Fine Line_?! (**Syaoran: Which, by the way, I haven't been reading, though I know Niahm-chan has updated loads of times. O.O; Gomen ne, Niahm-chan! T-T**)

Now he was suffering from a fairly annoying boner. And unfortunately, dear Kanda was fast asleep. And Allen had this odd desire to fly back home and bonk Rinali on the head. How dare she encourage the corruption of his precious twin boys? How _dare _she?!

Allen knew he was going to be irresistibly horny after reading that damned book, but he was really, really keen to know what was going to happen next. It was addictive, _The Fine Line _was. Far too addictive actually. The cursed teen shuddered at the mental image of Yuukan and Andy reading the book. Let's just hope they didn't suffer as badly as Allen did, despite how perverted they've become.

As Allen turned the page, he mentally groaned. Oh, was he in for a rough(ER) night.

**x X X x**

He was a kid. He seriously looked like Yuukan, except with his own hair colour, of course. He was chasing Mugen, which was flying ahead of him as if challenging him to be able to catch it. Kanda felt rather stupid, because he was still in reality eighteen years old and fully matured in the head, yet he was running full speed after a levitating sword like some idiot. Like Lavi, in his opinion. Che.

He followed his Innocence, wondering where the hell it was taking him, and to his surprise, he found a door. Mugen knocked against it, as if wordlessly imploring him to open it. Kanda took hold of the knob and turned it, slowly opening the door. And he stared as the entrance revealed a shining heaven of soba and tempura.

He _had _to be in a dream. Thank Kami no one else was able to infiltrate his mind. Otherwise they would never take his murderous demeanour seriously again.

"Kanda. _Kanda_."

Somebody was calling him. It sounded like…Allen…OMG Allen was in his dream!! The embarrassment of it all! The Moyashi was the last person he wanted there. Not only because of the glimmering soba-and-tempura land before him but because—

"_Dammit Yuu, wake up!_"

Kanda blinked groggily and suddenly the bright land in front of him had vanished, instead being replaced with the darkened face of Allen, looking rather desperate and shaking him violently. Kanda shook his head vigorously to focus, and to his further horror, he watched as Allen blinked, being repeatedly sprayed by the samurai's sleep-induced drool.

"Wow," the silver-haired one muttered, raising an eyebrow. "You're _so _lucky neither Rinali nor Lavi were here to see you now."

Could Kanda _be _any redder, dammit? Now he was the one with the blushing overload problem.

"Whaddayawan'?" the samurai mumbled gruffly, vainly trying to wipe away the last of the residue on his face. Allen suddenly resumed his desperate expression.

"You—I—we—AHH! Read this!" he hissed, thrusting something into Kanda's face. The samurai quickly blocked his nose from being squashed and took hold of that something. It was a book. _The Fine Line._

"You woke me up at—" Watch-check "—four-thirty in the fucking morning where we're flying over because you want me to _read a fucking book_?" Kanda's voice was deadly.

Apparently not deadly enough, he noted with slight disappointment. Allen's face didn't even crack.

"Yes. And if you want to sleep any faster I suggest you read it _now_," the younger teen said, in an even deadlier tone.

Making an incoherent half-grumbling noise, Kanda pulled apart the book and began reading. Allen watched him intently, his knuckles turning almost white as he clenched his hand into a fist. Ohh, he could _not _stand it any longer.

At first Kanda simply looked bored. After a few minutes, his eyes narrowed in surprise, then widened again. Then he began looking pretty interested, to say the least.

After Allen quite patiently managed to keep his testosterone level in control and Kanda was done reading what he was supposed to, the samurai abruptly shut the book, tossed it into Allen's lap and gave him a wide grin.

"Okay. That was very…refreshing. Now oyasumi," he said in an OOC-ly chirpy tone before leaning back and closing his eyes with content.

Allen's head imploded.

…

Mentally, of course. You never know how many sadists are out there.

The cursed teen wondered if he should just activate his Innocence and drive it up Kanda's ass right there and then.

But then Kanda would wake up and drive _Mugen _up _his _ass. And Allen wasn't sure if he really wanted to get involved in anything that kinky.

Well, for one thing, Mugen is really really sharp. And for another—

"KANDA!" Allen hissed. And, in his sex-driven frustration, smacked the samurai across the face.

(Oops. I knew I should've ranted on and on before Allen does the unthinkable and hits a homicidal man…well, too late now.)

Kanda's eyes flew open in total shock. Very, very slowly, he turned his head to face Allen, those same eyes raging with fire.

"Did. You. Just. _Hit_. Me?" he whispered, and this time his voice had hit the right note of deadliness. Allen blinked, beginning to tremble, though not so obviously.

"I…erm…" he mumbled, unable to form a coherent sentence.

Kanda didn't wait for him to finish. Without saying a word, he flung off the blanket that was covering him (Allen decided not to stay in his lap to read the book) and not-so-gently grabbed hold of Allen's arms and yanked him back into his lap. Allen gave a squeak similar to the one he'd emitted earlier on, when Kanda did the same thing (admittedly with less force).

But Kanda wasn't done with him, oh no. He pressed a hand to Allen's chest and pushed him down so that Allen somehow or other ended up in a bridal style position in the samurai's lap, which was exactly what Kanda had intended. Then, still without saying anything, Kanda slipped an arm underneath Allen's knees and the other supported the younger one's back before effortlessly sliding out of the seat and walking down the small aisle.

"K-Kanda, where the hell are you going?!" Allen squeaked, tucking in his feet in horror to avoid hitting anyone's sleeping heads. All too soon he found himself being carried into the bathroom and tossed onto the (fortunately closed) toilet seat. Allen winced in slight pain as his ass made contact with the hard surface, glancing up to see Kanda locking the door.

"Kanda…?" the silver-haired one said timidly. Kanda glanced at him with a gleam in his eyes.

"_Normally _I would punish you for hitting me by attempting to murder you with Mugen," he said in a dangerously quiet tone. Then he smirked, scaring Allen even more. "But since you're supposedly my _lover _now…"

'_Ohmygod what have I done?!_' Allen's mind was now in a frenzy.

"Did you really expect me to go back to sleep after reading that eromanga-ish book?" Kanda hissed, and Allen noticed that he was slowly approaching him. Uh-oh. "Did you really expect me to keep quiet about its content? And the fact that Rinali actually let the_ twins _read it…honorable chivalry be damned, I swear, the next time I see her I'll make sure she really gets mentally scarred."

"Kanda, let's not get hasty here…" Allen began nervously. Wait, what the hell? He _wanted _this to happen, didn't he? That was the whole reason why he woke Kanda up, right? So why was he so scared now?!

"I'm not being hasty, Moyashi," Kanda hissed, and suddenly he was right in front of Allen, as in _really _right in front of him. He leaned forward and their noses were barely touching now. "I'm going to _torture _you, though."

Allen whimpered at the sudden seductive tone Kanda's voice had taken on, and he realized that he was beginning to breathe hard through his mouth. He'd been enduring that boner for way too long already. It was now or _never_, and he definitely wanted the former. So, throwing all caution to the wind, he grabbed Kanda around the neck and pulled him down roughly, kissing him with intense force.

_Ahhh. _Kanda's lips were seriously addictive. In his already hazy mind Allen wondered why he'd refrained from kissing the guy for the past…two days? My God, something must've been terribly wrong with his hormones during those forty-two hours.

If Kanda was surprised, he didn't show it. Instead, he kissed back bruisingly, parting Allen's lips with his demanding tongue, dominating the kiss quite easily as Allen moaned, his head tilted back with the intensity of Kanda's lips. Kanda ran a hand up Allen's back, turning the younger one on by touching all the right places there, while the other hand made their way to the front of Allen's shirt, undoing the buttons carelessly and forcefully.

In what seemed like no time at all, Allen found himself topless, and with a short glance he saw his shirt tossed to the floor, but he didn't have much time to care about it as Kanda's lips traced their way down his jaw to his neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses on the heated skin.

"Ahh, Kanda…" Allen moaned quietly—they were on an airplane filled with sleeping people after all. He flinched and let out a small hiss of pain and pleasure as Kanda nipped at his neck hearing his words.

"You've been a bad boy," Kanda said harshly against Allen's skin, "so _don't _refer to me so personally. What are you supposed to call me?"

"Kanda…Kanda-sama…" Allen amended his mistake, and he let out a soft sound between a sigh and a groan as Kanda ran his tongue over the younger boy's collarbone.

"Good," the samurai whispered. "But you're still being punished."

Allen whimpered at the words—either that or the fact that Kanda suddenly grinded his hips against his, the friction between their groins both delicious, yet not enough for Allen's insatiable lust. "Nnggh…! Kanda-sama, please…!" he cried softly, throwing his head back as Kanda's tongue found his nipple.

For a few moments, Kanda paid a lot of attention to Allen's body, and Allen thought he was going to burst from the pleasure he was feeling, but Kanda suddenly sat up. The silver-haired teen let out a upset mewl at the loss.

"I told you I'm torturing you," Kanda said, the smirk on his face even darker as the gleam in his eye grew predatory. "Get off."

The younger one obeyed immediately, sliding off of the toilet seat onto his knees. The samurai replaced him with himself, then unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor—followed by his boxers, causing Allen to blush as he saw his lover's erect member. Kanda grinned.

"Like what you see, Moyashi?" he said quite smugly, making Allen go even redder and look away, rather embarrassed. "Come here."

Allen moved forward submissively, his eyes lowered. "Don't act all shy now, I know you're more than that, you needy little slut," Kanda reprimanded, and seriously, Allen wasn't sure how he could blush any harder than that, but he knew he did. "You know what to do."

Allen seemed just a little bit hesitant; then he moved even closer between Kanda's legs and almost confidently took his lover's hard length into his mouth, running his tongue up and down the member while drawing random, abstract patterns. Kanda groaned, leaning his head back as Allen pleasured him.

"Oh_fuck_, Moyashi," he hissed, and as Allen's tongue moved over a particularly sensitive spot, he let out a strangled gasp and fisted his fingers in the younger teen's hair. "Damn…!"

Allen didn't realize exactly how much he would be enjoying giving a man a blowjob, but now the proof was right there, and he sure as hell glad this wasn't going to be the last time if they got any hornier than that. Kanda's moans and hisses were like music to Allen's ears—erotic music that he knew nobody else would be allowed to hear, not if he could help it.

Kanda felt that he was going to come soon, and he didn't want _that_. No, he wanted to come only when he was inside of the Moyashi, and that was what he was going to do now. With his hand in Allen's hair, he, as gently as he could (because he still _loved _the guy), pulled the silver-haired teen away from his member, and he was almost surprised at the frustrated little snarl Allen gave. Did the boy actually _liked _giving him a blowjob? Now that was amazing.

The samurai pulled Allen up by the shoulders so that he was standing, and he leaned forward to place soft, barely-there kisses onto the lean planes of the boy's stomach as he undid Allen's pants, his fingers unintentionally brushing against his lover's own hardness, making Allen's breath hitch and earning choked gasps from him.

"Relax, Moyashi. All in due time. Besides, I didn't mean for your punishment to be this easy anyway," Kanda smirked against Allen's skin.

"Ahh, Kanda-sama…even if you don't punish me as hard as you wanted to, I cross my heart and swear to die if I hit you that way again," Allen breathed raggedly, looking down into Kanda's eyes with a lusty gaze of his own.

"Good boy," the samurai purred, and Allen could swear he could just melt, because Kanda's purr was the deep, seme kind of purr that was going to reduce him to jelly if he kept it up. Soon Allen was naked, and Kanda stood up as well, letting the younger teen back onto the toilet seat. (I _hate _to keep saying that, dammit! X6)

Allen, who was slightly trembling but mostly with anticipation, parted his legs wide for Kanda, who hummed appreciatively at the very inviting sight and made him blush yet again. What was it about his blushing reflexes?

But again he had no time to ponder over it as Kanda leaned forward to kiss him briefly. It was a reassuring, soothing kiss, yet it didn't lack any of the sparks Allen felt tingling down his spine when he kissed him.

"I think this is going to hurt," the samurai murmured, and for the first time, _ever_, he sounded gently apologetic. Allen swallowed hard and nodded.

"Don't worry. Just do it, please."

Kanda nodded as well, and took a deep breath as he positioned himself, this being his first time too. Allen let out a gasp as Kanda suddenly pushed into him, pushing past the barrier that was his virginity. Kanda kissed Allen even more apologetically on his neck.

"Are you okay, Moyashi?" he asked tenderly.

Allen's eyes were closed; he'd never looked so beautiful, Kanda noted. Not that he wasn't already beautiful. "You were right…it does hurt," he whispered.

"Do you want me to stop?" Kanda asked, with genuine concern. Allen's reaction was so fast he was almost amused—the silver-haired one shook his head vehemently.

"No! Don't you dare!" he said indignantly. At the low chuckle from Kanda, he blushed again, then whispered, "But please…move."

Kanda smiled. "Be happy to."

Careful for Allen's own safety, he pulled out slowly and thrust back in at the same speed. Allen groaned, but he didn't sound very much pained.

"Harder." His voice was a throaty whimper.

Kanda responded by obediently repeating his previous actions, this time with slightly more force—not too much, but not too little either. As a samurai, Kanda was used to controlling his strength. Allen let out a soft hiss, and this time it was definitely of pleasure.

"Harder, Kanda-sama, harder!" Kanda, smirking now, complied. The moan that was elicited from his lover's lips turned the samurai on even more, if that was possible.

"_Ahhh, Kanda-sama…please…faster…_"

Kanda picked up the pace, his breath coming in pants as he pushed into Allen's tight heat repeatedly. Suddenly he felt himself strike something, and Allen's back arched noticeably.

"_Kanda!_"

The samurai grunted in response; his aim was now changed. All he wanted to do now was to hit that spot within Allen that pleasured him so much. He felt slightly victorious as his aim was accomplished—with almost every thrust he was able to hit the sweet spot, earning Allen's delicious gasps and pants.

"Oh, Kanda, I'm going to—AHHH…" Allen's soft scream trailed off as he came, the euphoric feeling of his orgasm numbing his mind temporarily with total bliss and pleasure. Kanda still thrust into him, riding out his own orgasm with a groan that he stifled by burying his face into the back of Allen's neck as he spilled his seed into Allen.

The two of them lay in that position, panting, sweaty bodies still rubbing against each other, the only thing between them being the fabric of Kanda's white shirt, which he was still wearing. Kanda pulled out of Allen and turned the younger boy around so that they were facing each other. Allen smiled brilliantly despite being completely exhausted and pulled him in for a soft, lazy kiss.

"I love you so much, Kanda-sama," he said coyly.

"You're not being punished anymore, Moyashi. And incidentally I prefer it when you call me Yuu," Kanda grinned at his beautiful lover.

"Thank God," Allen giggled, slipping his arms around Kanda and laying his head against the older teen's shoulder. "And thank you for curing my boner for me. Damn, I'm never reading _The Fine Line _or letting the twins read it again."

"We might need it for ourselves though," Kanda murmured lazily, tracing circles on Allen's bare back. "As a sex guide, say."

"Yuu!" Allen hit him weakly with a fist.

_Knock-knock-knock_.

The two froze.

Within a time frame of about half a minute they were fully dressed, albeit rather messily. Allen opened the door a crack while holding his breath, then saw Andy outside.

"Oh, it's just you, Andy-chan," Allen sighed with relief, opening the door wider. "I thought it was _what the hell is wrong with Kan-chan?!_" He stared, completely dumbstruck, at the other twin, who was lying on the ground, apparently unconscious.

Andy looked at him with insomniac eyes. "Kan-chan wanted to use the bathroom," he mumbled. "But I think he forgot about that after hearing what the two of you were doing in there."

* * *

**Syaoran: **Yatta! I finally managed a lemon! Sort of! -cheers insanely by herself-

**Debitto: **-critically- Ya know…that wasn't half bad. But it's lacking all the fancy stuff.

**Jasdero: **Ignore him. He's a fucking sadomasochist.

**Syaoran: **Er, right. –sweatdrops- What do you guys think of this? I know it's not nearly as full of passion as Niahm-chan or Saya-Sama's, but bear with me, I plan to have another one in another couple of chapters. xD Love you darlings!


	24. Meet The In Laws

**Syaoran: **I seriously love you people! Thanks for being so supportive! And because I haven't done this in SUCH a long time I'm going to do…

**Review Responses**

**Alice The Nightingale **– LOL, did I? x3 I'm glad I could be of help, yeahs? Oh, you know what happens to Lavi's victims. It's a wonder they didn't get a mental breakdown hearing all that. O.o

**Pay Backs a Bitch **– Hip-hip-hooray—Eh, hold up, are you okay Shawnie?! O.O –fans quickly- Someone get me a pitcher of ice water! xD

**FireNose **– Well, dear Kan-chan _was _the one who nearly became a homophob… xD Actually Andy-chan wasn't oblivious, but he's just in the meditation state of mind, ya know: "La-dee-dah, I didn't hear nothing!" kind of thinking. :D

**SilentKiller1 **– Ahh, I pride myself on my endings. Sometimes. xD I do hate my cliffhangers, though I have a _few _good ones…I think…O.o

**Sailorlight22 **– Definitely, I can hardly believe _The Fine Line _is Niahm-chan's first work, it seems to me she's got great talent at this kind of thing. x3 Thanks for reading!

**Mistress of the Dark- Elements **– WHERE'S MY PITCHER OF ICE WATER?! OH WAIT, NO WAY, SHE'S DEAD?! WHERE'S A HOSPITAL WHEN YA NEED ONE:O SHE MUST LIVE, WHAT WILL THE COURT SAY IF THEY FOUND OUT I KILLED HER WITH A STEAMY GAY LEMON? (xDDD)

**N.H. Arawn **– You don't know how much of an idol you and your story are to me! xP And yeah, I have this distinct feeling my Kanda and your Tyki are friends… -glares at my Kanda pointedly- Oh goody, I really like _The Fine Line_! xD Gosh, from now on it's gonna be referred as the Yullen sex guide to me… xDDD

**whiteinu1 **– Well, even if you don't forgive me I'm the one writing the story, aren't I? So if you like it you must like me:D

**Saya-Sama **– LOL! xDDD In love with plane sex? Heh, kinky, ne? HAHA, I love torturing my characters, even if they do belong to me…I'm such a sadist…O.o

**AyaKuro **– You're one of my best reviewers ever! x3 LOL about the twins, I still can't believe I made them bring the book, but at least Kanda and Allen got some steamy lovin' out of it, ne? xD

**zenbon zakura **– Really?! Gimme the link! xD

**edhel-tarien **– Hehe, thanks for the review! x3

**KiyoiYume **– His full name's Yuukan. :D Thanks for the review!

**Pathia Jade **– Thanks to you and Tyki both! You will get your Lucky smex soon enough, patience is _definitely _a virtue when it comes to me… But you will have to see if it's rape or mutual. xD Oh, and I think I've fallen in love with Tyki & Kanda…MY muses, of course. I wouldn't dare touch your Tyki. **n.n**

**Nichigo **– MUAHAHA. xD I made you _blush, _teehee… You must forgive me, my Kanda is a perv just like me. x3

**sakura's conscience **– LOL! But _The Fine Line _really is a great fanfic :D –shameless pimpage as well, forgive me for stealing your lines, **Sailorlight22**! xD- Aww, thanks for loving the twins, they love you too!

**obsession14-c **– Hehe, the twins love everyone who loves them! x3 Thanks loads!

**Syaoran: **No time to waste! Back to the story! I'ma wanna write Kanda's family!!

**WARNING! My Kanda muse has become rather severely OOC, I seriously cannot write homicidal grumpy people. Bear with his odd behaviour, but he's still the same old murderous, sweets-hating, ecchi-minded bishounen on the inside. xD And a reminder on how ridiculously horrible my Geography is, I'm just writing random cities in Japan here. n.n;**

…**Oh, and I don't own D.Gray-Man, yeah…the Jasdebi twins already told you why, damn them.**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y . F o u r – M e e t . T h e . I n . L a w s .**

Yuukan weakly hit out with a hand. "You two just want me to become a homophobe, don'tcha?!"

Allen, who was _still _blushing, took his hand and gently put it down so that he could tuck the half-conscious boy in with his blanket. "Shh, Kan-chan, we're on a plane full of sleeping people. Get back to sleep."

"That's the whole point, Mama… Why were you doing _that _when we're on a plane full of sleeping people?" Yuukan whined, but his voice was slightly softer. Andy, who was also tucked in next to him, just stared straight ahead with the same insomniac eyes, his hunched position sort of making him look like L of Death Note.

"Andy-chan, please go to sleep too," Allen said, trying vainly to use his motherly authority to hide his embarrassment.

"Can't," the dark-haired chibi muttered. "Mental images are haunting me."

"Didn't that already happen when you read _The Fine Line_?"

"No."

"Ehh?" Allen found it impossible to believe that these two could be completely clueless when they were reading that novel. I mean, they're both _corrupted! _"How did you read it without getting any…problems?"

Andy turned to look at him with a 'duh' expression. "Simple. We skipped the lemons."

_Now _Allen felt like keeling over and dying for scarring his poor dear boys for life.

**x X X x**

"Mama. Mama."

Allen's eyes slowly fluttered open. After about an hour and a half of trying to get a pretty indifferent yet utterly chatty Andy to sleep, he was the one who ended up exhausted. He peered into the face in front of him; it was Yuukan, who didn't look wide awake either, but alert enough.

"What is it, Kan-chan?" he mumbled, reaching out to grab Kanda's arm and check his watch. "My goodness, it's only eight-thirty?"

Yuukan nodded. "Yeah. Everyone else is awake, we're going to—" He was interrupted by a huge, huge yawn. "—sorry—land soon."

"Oh," Allen said, and he yawned as well. "Is Andy awake? Go back and buckle up if we're going to be landing, I'll wake Papa up."

Yuukan nodded with another yawn and shuffled back to his own seat. Allen closed his eyes and let himself drift for a while. Without opening his eyes he shook Kanda's arm, which he was still holding.

"Oi. Yuu," he muttered. "We're going to land."

The only response he got was a soft snore.

'_If I can wake up after sleeping barely half an hour the whole of last night, so can you, though you slept a whole lot more!_'

Allen sat up straight, his eyes wide and determined as he glared down at the face of his lover. He didn't want to hit him this time. He wouldn't put it past Kanda to drag him back to the bathroom, which was admittedly really cramped.

"Yuu, come on, wake up," he said, shaking the older teen by the shoulders. "Wake _up_."

An inaudible curse and a twitch of the nose and Kanda was _still _asleep.

Allen took a deep breath. Was there nothing that was going to get Kanda to wake up?

Suddenly an idea struck him.

Allen looked around carefully, making sure nobody was watching him. Then he leaned forward so that his lips were brushing over Kanda's left ear and whispered huskily, "Oh, Kanda-sama, I'm sorry, I've been reading _The Fine Line _again, I just couldn't _resist_…"

Kanda's eyes bolted open and he sat up as well. "I'm up."

The silver-haired boy gave a snort of laughter and gently hit him on the chest. "You're such a hentai."

The samurai growled in discontent and laid back to continue sleeping. Allen pulled at his shoulder.

"Hey, don't go back to sleep! We're going to land, and if you want to stay in the plane while me and the boys go visit your family that's fine with me, they'll just have to make do with the fact that their grumpy Yuu is going to be flying all over the world while he's sleeping!" he said.

Kanda frowned as he cracked open one eye. "Fine. But when we get to my place you're going to have to talk to my family by yourself, because I'm definitely going back to sleep in my old room there."

"You sound like a little kid," Allen pouted. "And if you want to be that way, fine. But just so you know, Yuu, I've gotten a lot less sleep than you so I have this feeling that all four of us will be sleeping when we get there."

"Or two of us will be sleeping and the other two of us might do something _else_…"

"You perv. We only just did it last night and you're horny again?"

"I think Kisaka-nii's getting to me…damned bastard."

"_Please wear your seatbelts. We are descending_," a chirpy female voice announced.

Allen leaned over Kanda (with a bit of difficulty due to the fact that he was strapped down in his seat) to look out of the window. He smiled with awe and delight at the beautiful sight of Japan.

"Wow, it's even prettier than Britain," he murmured, apparently to himself as he stared down at the scenery with wonder. Then he glanced up at Kanda, who was looking out of the window as well, but unlike him the Japanese teen's expression was impassive.

"Why do you hate being here, Yuu?" Allen asked softly.

Kanda frowned slightly. "I don't _hate _being here."

Allen blinked at the not-so-helpful response, but decided to leave the matter until later. For now, they had to land at the Narita airport get to the Kanda residence.

**x X X x**

Andy and Yuukan looked around with wide eyes. "Uwaa…"

"What's so fascinating?" Kanda asked, looking around as well. "Eh, I don't remember this place being this tiny."

"When was the last time you were here?" Allen asked.

"When I was thirteen."

"Yes. You were probably a short kid then, so it changes everything now," the silver-haired teen nodded knowledgeably, trying not to smirk as he calmly walked ahead with the twins, leaving Kanda to fume at his teasing.

"I was _not _a short kid, Moyashi!" he protested. Then instantly regretted opening his mouth.

"Ahh, Yuu, such a liar as usual, neee?" Kanda froze as he felt a hand clap on his back, nearly throwing him forward with its force and laughter from behind him.

'_Please don't tell me it's who I think it is._'

From the look on Allen and the twins' faces, his worst fear just then was confirmed.

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!" Kanda closed his eyes on instinct as he felt three pairs of arms wrap themselves like octopus tenctacles around his thin body, squeezing him probably ten times as hard as when Rinali first glomped the twins. So be assured it was a miracle the samurai was still alive when his brother and sisters were done with him.

"…dying…slowly…tell Rinyue I still don't like her…my last words…" Kanda mumbled breathlessly. Nakire smacked him on the shoulder.

"Oh, shut up, Yuu. You've been taught to withstand much more than that! You little brat, I can't get over how old you are now!! It reminds me how old _I _am!!" she yelled, apparently either unaware that half the people in the airport were staring at her or simply not giving a damn what they thought. Allen guessed the latter—she _was _a Kanda, right?

"Thank Kami-sama then. You _are _old," Kanda retorted, still trying to get his breath back. It was Kisaka's turn to smack him.

"Oi! Don't tease your aneki! Because I'm her twin and she'll take it out on me after she's done with you…and the fact that I'm just as old as she is and I am so not taking that insult!" he said. He began looking around comically. "Now where's your little honey-bunny Allen-chan?"

"Allen is not a bunny, that's Lavi. Moyashi, get here," Kanda called over to Allen, who was looking a little awkward about interrupting.

"Is he your wife candidate or your slave?" Kisaka snorted while looking at Allen up and down. "He's cute, though… And Allen-chan, I wanna ask, are you used to being on the verge of death?"

"Err, perhaps so, why?" Allen asked.

Before Kisaka could answer, Nakire and Rufan, who were staring at the silver-haired teen with their jaws crashed into the ground, both emitted similar fangirlish squeals and ran over to glomp him.

"KA-WA-IIIIIIIII!!!!" they cried.

Yuukan and Andy, who were standing by gaping at their mother being attacked, gulped and turned to look at Kanda and Kisaka.

"Uncle Kisaka…it was nice being able to _see _you," Yuukan said hollowly.

Andy nodded his agreement, then blinked. "Oh, here they come…"

For Nakire and Rufan had finally let a completely blood-drained Allen (sounds like they're vampires O.o) go and were now rounding on the twins.

As Allen stumbled over to where the only two Kanda members who were actually sane right then, he joined them in looking over at the Kanda females hugging the twins.

"Hey, this isn't so bad, it's just like having two different versions of Auntie Rinali glomping us!" Andy managed to shout to Allen gleefully.

"ZOMG! Yuu-nii, this one looks just like you! Only with Allen-nii's beautiful hair!" Rufan squealed, pinching Yuukan's cheeks.

"Hey hey, I have a name, Auntie Rufan!" said boy protested, but he was grinning.

"Do I get the feeling the twins are actually liking those two sadists?" Kanda mumbled, his eyes wide.

"Oh hush, Yuu," Allen smiled. "Your sisters really love them, is it wrong for the twins to love them back?"

"Well said!" Kisaka grinned. "Now let's start over, shall we? Phone convos have absolutely no importance to me." He thrust out a hand at Allen. "Name's Kanda Kisaka, I'm Yuu's perfect older brother who is completely embarrassed about having a brother who looks nothing like a man anyway."

Allen sweatdropped while Kanda gave his aniki a not-so-subtle-nor-gentle jab with his elbow, causing the older Kanda to flinch slightly but continue grinning. The British boy shook Kisaka's hand.

"I'm Allen Walker," he said politely. "I was previously just Yuu's Exorcist comrade. But, er, now I suppose it would be appropriate to say that I'm his, uh, lover?"

"Don't need to be so formal with me, Allen-chan! I get muddled with all these fancy words!" Kisaka chuckled. "Besides, if I know my lil' bro that well, you're going to be my…brother-in-law anyways, so feel free to say what you like around me and the gals."

Allen smiled and nodded. "Thanks a lot, Kisaka…nii."

Kisaka grinned even more at his words. Allen looked at him with interest. For Kanda's brother, he didn't look much like the usually homicidal samurai. Kisaka had cool-cut short hair (think something like Lavi's hair) and he had the appearance of a very laidback, cheerful person, quite unlike Kanda. It was almost impossible for Allen to imagine this guy ever looking as murderous as his long-haired boyfriend.

The three looked over as Nakire, Rufan, Andy and Yuukan came over, all of them smiling and laughing. Allen seriously couldn't think of these people as _Kanda_'s family, they were so high-spirited and lively.

"Hihi! I know you know me already but phone convos are so irritating to remember, can we start over?" Rufan bubbled.

Allen laughed and nodded. "Sure! I'm Allen Walker, an Exorcist, and Yuu's boyfriend, I suppose that's my term right now. Those two are our boys; the silver-haired one is Yuukan and the black-haired one is Andy."

"And they're adorable! Exact chibi versions of you and Yuu-nii!" Rufan giggled. "I'm Yuu-nii's stepsister, Rufan. Hey hey, can I tell you something? I'm Chinese!"

The British boy blinked at her. "Ehh, really? But you don't look it!"

"I know, everyone else says the same, and I suppose I'm Japanese now that I'm a Kanda, but I have to remember my roots!" the young girl said.

"Wow, cool!" the twins chimed together as they looked up at Rufan with huge grins.

"Hey, don't forget me ne! I'm Yuu's older sister and Kisaka's twin, Nakire. You can just call me Aneki though, wouldn't it be weird if you refer to me as Naki-aneki? It's pretty much a tongue-twister," Nakire smiled cheerfully at Allen.

"Haha, I noticed that. Thanks, Aneki," he said, making the older woman squee again.

"And what about _you_, lil' bro?" Kisaka suddenly aimed at Kanda, who was up till then quite silent and just watching as his family welcomed his lover warmly. The samurai blinked.

"What me?" he asked.

"We haven't killed you yet for raping Allen-chan!" Kisaka said, folding his arms in an attempt to act big-brotherly. "Though I'm beginning to doubt it, because the twins are just damn adorable and it'll break my heart to see them cry over the fact that they'll have no father, which will confuse everyone just 'cuz their father looks like a mother—"

"Kisaka-nii, Yuu really didn't rape me," Allen interrupted before Kanda could react. "Well, actually it wouldn't be called rape since I was willing."

"Hey, that's a nice line!" Rufan said, looking thoughtful. "You can't rape the willing, can you?"

"Oh yes, it comes from a book," Allen smiled at her blithely. "I could lend it to you, but I would want it back though. It's called _The Fine Line_."

"No! You're kidding!" Nakire's eyes grew big. "I've been wanting to get _The Fine Line _for ages! Do you seriously have it?"

"Yes, Rinali wanted to let you borrow it because she apparently feels that fellow fujyoshi should share the joys of reading the same erotica novels," Allen continued smiling blithely, quite unaware that he was making Kanda go red in embarrassment. "But anyway. The twins aren't exactly naturally born. Their life depends on their Innocence only. Besides, can you imagine me giving birth to them at ten years old?"

"Yeahh, well, there had to be a catch somewere," Kisaka said, tapping his chin. "Ah, let's save the talk for later. Kaa-san's at home and she so badly wants to meet you guys, Yuu included!"

Kanda gave a near-silent groan and his siblings glared at him as they walked along.

"Why does Yuu hate Rinyue so much?" Allen whispered to Nakire, who was standing nearest to him.

"He thinks she's trying to replace our own Kaa-san," the older woman muttered back in a gossipmonger manner. "But I can't understand why he can't just accept her. He reveres Ru-chan loads, but he's never once looked at Rinyue-kaa-san in a son-to-mother kinda way."

Allen pursed up his lips. Maybe the problem was how Rinyue behaved, if it affected Yuu so much.

All too soon, the small party arrived at the Kanda residence, a large, beautiful house in Chiba. The younger twins went "Sugoiii!" at the sight of it and Kanda's siblings said proudly, "Home sweet home!" Allen looked at Kanda, who just smiled ever so slightly back at him as if to say, "Well, welcome to the madhouse."

They went through the gate, the older twins yelling. "Kaa-saaaaan! We're back, with Yuu and his family!"

Allen and the younger twins were too busy looking all around in awe at the huge place when they suddenly heard a woman's voice declaring, "Oh, you guys are home, are ya? Well, let me see that naughty little boy, it's been years!"

That was when the three got to see Rinyue for the first time.

And their jaws dropped.

_That _was Rinyue?!?!

* * *

**Syaoran: **Gosh, I can hardly remember why I needed Rinyue for the angst for… Hmm…maybe you guys might not end up having too much angst after all…

**Kanda: **I NEED THE ANGST! ANGST AMONGST THAT CRAZY FAMILY'S JUST BEARABLE FOR ME!

**Syaoran: **Aww, poor Kanda-pon. Unfortunately you know I'm just as sadistic as your friend, Niahm-chan's Tyki.

**Kanda: **LIES! I'M NOT FRIENDS WITH THAT LUNATIC! IT'S LIES! –gets locked up in a straitjacket-


	25. Who Doesn't Know Cross?

**Syaoran: **Oops, I didn't update early again. :x Sorry ): I just can't seem to find the time to do anything. I feel so miserable when I think about it. T-T

_Arigatou to my lovely twin sis __**Kags **__for being the 400__th__ reviewer! (: _She never reviewed me in practically forever, & the only time she actually did was on my first ever story which was written like lightyears ago & it's still not complete. O.o I'm so sorry I never thanked my 200th & 300th reviewers, but I didn't have the time actually. But if you know who you are, DOMO ARIGATOU, YOU'RE LOVED :D

…Of course, every other reviewer is loved as well. –throws shitloads of cookies dramatically-

The chibi twins (Andy & Yuukan) don't have too much appearance in this chapter, unfortunately… It's all about the Kandas for this one.

& ohshit. :x After my friend challenged me to write a somewhat crackified pairing in D.Gray-Man I kinda chose –whispers- Tyki x Debitto…

**Debitto & Tyki: **-both choke on some drink- WHATCHA_HELL_DYASAY?!

**Syaoran: **NOTHING! NOTHING! YOU DIDN'T HEAR NOTHING! –runs for her life with them two chasing her with Tease & bullets-

**Skin: **D.Gray-Man, HUH, if it belongs to that stupid punk, everything else in the world's hunky-dory heaven.

**Syaoran: **-pant- Oh, and by the way –pant- I've decided that I shall stick to one pen-name after this chapter –PANT- which you will find out later!! AHHH!! –PANTPANTPANT-

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y . F i v e – W h o . D o e s n ' t . K n o w . C r o s s ?**

Rinyue was _gorgeous_.

That was to put it simple. A woman who looked barely older than her step-twins and dressed in a tight white blouse and a short black skirt, she had the look of a professional businesswoman who had a dominatrix lady-boss side to her. That was perhaps why General Cross Marian, Allen's womanizing Shishou, had hit on her blatantly quite a few donkey years ago when the boy was only eight years old and had met Anita at the brothel in China.

To Allen back then, Rinyue was better known as Nina, Anita's beautiful cousin who worked at the brothel with her. Nina had not interacted much with Allen, though she'd had a good look at him like Anita had. She was too busy keeping up with Cross's flirting to actually say anything to Allen, but look where they were now.

"Oh, darlin', I never thought I'd see you again!" Rinyue gushed in her strange Chinese-sounding yet at the same time American—maybe Texan—twanged tone, pinching Allen's cheeks affectionately. "You were such a cutie pie when you were a kid, and now lookit you! My gawd, what I'd give to adopt you. And ain't that gonna happen when you marry Yuu-chan!"

Kanda emitted nothing less than an annoyed growl and Rinyue beamed.

"Ehehh…I see you haven't changed much, Nina-san," Allen mumbled, trying not to wince as Rinyue continued squeezing his cheeks. "Er, please let go of my cheeks, they hurt…"

"Sorry darlin'," Rinyue smiled fondly. "I just can't seem to remember you're…what? Fifteen now? Goodness me, how old you are! And with these simply adorable little boys no less!" She gestured to Yuukan and Andy, who were still staring at her with their mouths open.

"Hate to break up the reunion," Kisaka said kindly, "but Kaa-san, Allen-chan, mind letting us in on the heartfeltness that is this moment?"

"Oh, fine, fine," his stepmother looked a little miffed. "You do know that I was workin' at a brothel with your step-aunty Anita, don'tcha?"

"Yeah," Kisaka nodded, as if she'd told him she had worked at a bakery. "What of it?"

"Well, I met little Alleny here," Rinyue beamed, "with Cross-sama. Oh, he was a naughty boy, he was, flirting with Anita and me no end; I couldn't even say a word to this pretty darlin'! In fact, I didn't even catch his name, Cross-sama called him the 'idiot disciple' and Anita had to tell me his name was Allen. I never thought I'd see him again, honestly! And I didn't know he was gonna be Yuu's little wifey!"

Allen smiled, a little embarrassed, while the chibi twins and Kanda's sibings stared at him with unreadable expressions.

"Poor Allen-chan," Nakire suddenly said with a loud sigh that didn't fool anybody. "To have a master like Marian-sama."

"You know him?" Allen asked, blinking. She nodded, a small smirk creeping over her face.

"Ohh, don't we all." Rinyue looked a bit abashed at the statement.

"Aw, c'mon, Naki-chan! He only came over a few times, no biggie," she said, pouting.

"He CAME here?!" Kanda suddenly screamed, after keeping determinedly silent for about half an hour, making the chibi twins jump. "_He _came to _this place?! _RINYUE!"

"I'm sorry, hun!" Rinyue said, now looking more than a bit abashed. "But he didn't come here for anything else but a chat, I swear! You know I wouldn't do that to your Tou-san."

"Who cares," Nakire said darkly, "he's dead."

Allen and the chibi twins' eyes widened.

"OhmyGod, if nobody's gonna tell me what the heck's going on here I'm going to die!" Andy said tearfully.

**x X X x**

An hour or so later, Allen, Andy and Yuukan were seated in the dining room, steaming cups of hot herbal tea in front of them. The Kanda family were sat around the the table as well, drinking their own tea with satisfaction after just relieving their rather odd but interesting history to Yuu's potential wife-to-be.

Rinyue had been working at Anita's brothel in China and had come into the family when Kanda was just eight, after his mother had passed away. She was only twenty, shockingly, and she had Rufan, who was two years old at the time. Kanda's father was a surprisingly perverted old man (-cough- isn't that why dear Yuu is too? –cough-), but what was odd was that Rinyue never did marry into the family. She took the name Kanda but she didn't get married—it was like she was a kept concubine who took care of the young princes and princess.

The twins had accepted her eventually, though it took a while to call her 'Kaa-san' since she was barely ten years older than they were. Kanda, of course, was the trouble. He'd been a perfectly normal kid all the way up to when to his mother died, in which he became stuck with being sulky and bad-tempered. He adamantly refused to accept Rinyue, though he was mysteriously fond of Rufan.

Rinyue still kept her job at the brothel, though her appearances there were much less. Three years later, during one of her 'visits' back to China, she met Cross Marian, a dashing, lecherous man who had with him an eight-year-old, still perfectly innocent Allen Walker.

Although Rinyue flirted with him like Anita did, she never thought of him as more than a so-called customer. But when her cousin mysteriously and unexpectedly passed away, she began to know Cross more than usual. Due to the fact that little Kanda disliked Cross the most out of the four children (and because Rinyue realized that Kanda was the only person she had to please before anyone else), she didn't ever bring Cross back to Japan until the boy was thirteen and went to the Black Order with General Froi Tiedoll as a new Exorcist. (And of course, when his equally lecherous father died as well, but because all three original Kanda siblings had not liked him when he was alive, they didn't bother too much about him being dead.)

Allen was agog when he heard all of this, and the first thing that came out of his mouth when Rinyue gasped for breath after she was done was, "You know Shishou and you never told me, Yuu?!"

Kanda winced. "Sorry," he mumbled, avoiding anyone's eyes. "I just didn't want you to get involved in all this. I knew that if you found out I knew Cross, you'd get into all this nonsense. But since you're my lover anyway…"

Rinyue, who was draining her tea, suddenly slammed the cup down on the table excitedly. "Yes! No more talkin' about all that confusing history, darlin', it turns my head!" she said fondly. "Ohh, I thought I'd never live to see Yuu get married! Though I doubted them twins would marry before him, lookit them, they're good for nobody but each other…"

"Ew! That sounds _sooo _wrong," Nakire said, screwing up her face in disgust as she glared at her twin.

"Right on," Kisaka shrugged, glaring back over the rim of his teacup.

Kanda groaned. "Conversation later. I'm fucking sleepy because of _Moyashi _here, who just couldn't resist reading _The Fine Line _and getting all riled up…" he said, giving Allen a pointed look.

"You didn't even complain, damn you!" the blushing British boy protested. "Besides, I got less sleep than you!"

"Oh, you'll love Yuu-nii's room, Allen-niichan!" Rufan said eagerly. "We didn't change it a scrap since he left so it's still everything as it used to be before he was thirteen!"

"Cool!" the chibi twins grinned. "What'll we find up there, Papa?"

"Nothing," the samurai mumbled, his face suddenly blanching and his eyes going wide. In a second he'd left the room faster than lightning.

"What's eating him?" Yuukan asked, blinking.

The twins sniggered, Rinyue looked a bit embarrassed and Rufan was politely ignorant of what her step-siblings were snorting about.

"Nahh, it wouldn't do any good to tell you anyways," Nakire smiled at Allen patronizingly. "Wouldn't wanna scar poor Yuu's already pulverized Exorcist reputation. He still has a homicidal stick-up-his-ass swordsman image to upkeep, ne?"

Allen looked hurt. "You could tell me, Aneki!"

Kisaka sighed as his twin squee'd ("Oh my God, I can't get used to such a cutie bro-in-law calling me Aneki! This is so precious!!"). "Well, before Yuu up there became Mr Grumpy Sword, he was much like us," he explained patiently. "So we were a crazy bunch, I'll tell you that…"

"Hold on!" Andy demanded. Kisaka, Nakire and Rufan blinked at him. "I need to get used to the mental image of Papa acting like you guys," he explained sweetly. Their mouths formed 'O's of understanding.

"'Kay, go."

"Yeah, that was us, the insane Kanda madhouse," Nakire continued off from Kisaka's sentence, having recovered from her fangirling fit. "And the reason why Ru-chan and I got into yaoi in the first place was because of Yuu."

Allen and the chibi twins' eyes widened enormously. "Did I just hear you say that _my _boyfriend, who by the way is still a heartless bastard on the inside, was actually in the gay scene?"

"I wish!" Nakire sighed. "No. _He _was into _yuri_, the asshole. Typical guy—you've gotta understand, Allen-chan, our parents were seriously kinky when they were alive (may they rest in peace, amen), so they kinda passed on their horny legacies onto us three. Rufan not included because she's just our stepsis after all, but forgive me for corrupting her dear little innocent mind."

"Once corrupted you can't turn back," Kisaka said righteously, patting Rufan on the shoulder sympathetically. "We're very relieved she managed to remain strong throughout the process."

"R-right," Allen said, sweatdropping at the comical seriousness of the moment. "And…?"

"Yuu's mind got corrupted at five thanks to us, he latched onto yuri at six and started years of intense lesbian study till he went to the Black Order Headquarters up at Europe," Nakire continued. "Yes, even when Rinyue-kaasan was with us. Oh, with his cold exterior he manages to hide his obsession pretty well, but I think that friend of his…Lavi, was it?…yeah, Lavi knows about it."

"Oh! You mean the yuri! Che…" Rufan snorted.

Allen exchanged blank stares with the chibi twins. Okay, this was new.

"I can bet you Nakire's virginity that he's up there trying to clear away his dirty collection," Kisaka snickered, but shut up when his twin's fist hit him squarely in the left eye. "Ow—!"

"And you're _okay _with this, Nina-san?" Allen asked Rinyue, who shrugged.

"Darlin', who am I to say anythin'? You know the person I've been," she said innocently. The cursed teen sweatdropped again.

'_I think I'll have to hurry up and get used to this seriously weird family…_'

Judging by the looks on Yuukan and Andy's faces, they had to do the same too. Oh, the beauty of heartless swordsmen's dysfunctional families.

**x X X x**

Kanda's room turned out to be a pretty typical teenager's room, except with the lack of rock bands' posters on the walls and clothes on the floor. Allen was guessing that the room would really look properly teenager-worthy if Nakire and Kisaka were right about Kanda's…yuri collection –shudder-…but he didn't say a word as he watched the chibi twins effectively ruining his lover's bedsheets by using it as a trampoline.

"Now you know why I hate _her_?" the samurai said wryly as he stood beside Allen, who sighed.

"Well, yeah…maybe she _is _a bit too young and a bit too…provocative," he admitted. "But I know Nina-san! Though not as well as Anita-san, but still! She's a nice woman, why can't you just accept her?"

"She's a whore, Moyashi," Kanda said plainly, raising his eyebrows.

"She also took care of you for five years and your brother and sisters for the rest when you were gone," Allen reasoned. "She may have worked in a brothel but she's trying her best to be a good mother."

Kanda looked at him expressionlessly for a short moment before Yuukan suddenly yelled and catapulted himself at his parents, followed closely by Andy a second afterwards.

"Talk later, talk later!" they said gleefully. "Time to SLEEP!"

Allen laughed and nodded, moving over to Kanda's bed, which despite the fact only had to contain one angsty little kid when Yuu had been there, was big enough for all four of them to fit onto it comfortably. The twins rapidly made themselves comfortable on one side of the bed and Allen laid back about a couple of feet away on the other side, beckoning to Kanda with a smirk.

"Come on. We may not have any time to do anything right now, lest your family's placed hidden cameras all over your room, but at least we can actually _sleep _together peacefully, huh?"

Kanda frowned petulantly, approaching the bed and pulling off his hair tie at the same time, letting his silky long hair go.

Allen watched, a little mesmerized, hardly catching what Kanda was saying. "Fine, but tonight I've got plans for you, got it?"

The samurai blinked at the dazed look on his lover's face. "Moyashi?"

Allen nodded blankly. "Will we be able to fit your hair into your plans too?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow and reached up to feel a lock of his dark tresses. "My hair…?"

The British boy nodded again, almost hynoptized as Kanda ran his hand through his hair and examined it as if it was something he'd never considered interesting until just then.

Finally he smirked, sliding onto the bed next to Allen and leaning forward so that his hair brushed against the younger teen's chest and whispered into his ear, "I'm assuming _you're _into BDSM, then."

* * *

**Syaoran: **ARGH! Finally lost them! –regains breath- Anyways, hope this chapter suffices for the time being. xD OMG, Rinyue as Cross's squeeze, I get the giggles when I think about it. **n.n**


	26. Rinyue

**Syaoran: **Seriously sorry for this yet-again-slow update. See, I may not seem like it but I'm actually a delinquent kid. My parents have forbidden me to use the computer perhaps ever again. I'm actually even doing this at school, can you believe it? –sighs- Anyway, yet again I'm going to be a bitch & procrastinate the BDSM, but I assure you, THERE WILL BE BDSM, SO BEWARE YOU HOMOPHOBS WHO SO FAR HAVE MANAGED TO MAKE IT HERE (even after that lemon on the plane, huh).

& I don't have much time to write out Review Responses right now, but I will give a little bit of helpful information to a few people who haven't been reading my Author's Notes! :D

**sakura's conscience **& **Mistress of the Dark- Elements **– Please check Chapter 17 – Lucky in Love's A/N :D Or if you'd prefer graphic details, go Wiki it. Man, I nearly tried, and wow. /nosebleed

**Syaoran: **Oh, and I've seriously fallen in love with Kanda's grin, Episode 79. I keep going back to watch it just for that toothy smirk. –sighs dreamily-

**Disclaimer: If I did own D. Gray-Man, I'd make everyone mistake Jasdebi as girls just for the heck of it. & I wouldn't let Krory kill them so that Kanda can have a battle of who looks girlier with them.**

**Oh, and I suddenly realized that there's absolutely no mention of Timcanpy in any of my chapters. O.O How could I be so mean to that cute golem?**

* * *

**B o y s . W i l l . B e . B o y s .**

**C h a p t e r . T w e n t y . S i x – R i n y u e .**

Lavi whistled boredly to himself as he walked down the hallways, his hands clasped behind his head. Every once in a while he would reach forward and brush away his red bangs impatiently, and every time he did so he would mentally curse the Noah who stole the one thing that could keep his unruly hair in place. Why, of all things, did Tyki had to take his _bandanna? _Though of course, Lavi had to admit he looked better without it.

It had only been two days since the little Kanda family had gone to Japan, and already Lavi was restless as heck for them to come back. It wasn't as if Rinali was boring—oh _no_, on the contrary they'd both enjoyed themselves reading and discussing ideas for Rinali's latest Yullen doujin as openly as they liked since their victims—er, friends—weren't there to protest. They even took time to prank-call people together, the most fun calls being to Bak Chan at the Asian Headquarters (Lavi as Rinali, much to her mortification) and Miranda Lotto herself (both as 'ghosts'—seriously, can anyone _get _any more gullible?)

No, Lavi just really missed the boys.

As he turned the corner, he saw Rinali running towards him. "Lavi! Quick! We've gotta go to Nii-san's office."

"Why, what's Komui got?" Lavi asked, confused.

"We've got a mission!" Rinali said breathlessly.

Lavi froze. A mission? There hadn't been a mission since the bogus one where the Noahs just wanted to mess with them like the idiots they were. Will it be the same again?

Both of them arrived at Komui's office in no time. The head supervisor looked up with an uncharacteristically grim expression.

"Rinali-chan, Lavi," he began, consulting several sheets of paper at one go, "the mission you're going to be assigned is in Japan."

_Japan?_

"There's a terrible disturbance there and oddly enough there aren't any Finders in the area to inform Kanda and Allen."

"What about Timcanpy? We can communicate with him through the wireless," Lavi said.

"He's with me. I had Johnny fix him, there was a problem with his recorder," Komui explained.

"Oh. So do we have to, like, inform them?" Rinali asked awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other. "I mean, they're with Kanda's family and all."

Komui sighed. "I know, I know. Unfortunately you _will _have to tell them," he said. "It doesn't seem too serious, but there's definitely Innocence involved."

Rinali and Lavi nodded and left the office, exchanging glances. The mission sounded kind of fishy. How could they put it past the Noahs not to repeat the previous episode?

"Look, Lavi, I can tell you're thinking about Lynnfa," Rinali muttered— Allen had told her everything under torture, of course. "But don't worry. If it happens again, this time I'm here too, I can help."

"You're a sweetheart, Rinali," Lavi began slowly, "but, uh, if even _Yuu _could fall into the Noahs' trap… what makes you think you… won't?"

Rinali was silent for a moment. Lavi looked at her anxiously, scared that he'd insulted her. Then she lifted her head to look directly at him, and it took all of Lavi's guts not to emit a very unmanly scream at the huge, dangerous grin on her face.

"You men lack the girl power."

**x X X x**

Allen opened his eyes slowly, focusing his gaze. Wait, where was he?

Oh, yeah. Kanda's old room in Chiba. Che.

He sat up and noticed that he was alone. He glanced at the clock— it read 2pm.

"Where're the twins?" he murmured to himself, yawning and climbing off the bed in search of the boys, motherly instincts kicking in already even in his half-groggy state.

Having found nobody in the house, Allen stepped out to the lawn, and sure enough, they were all there except Rinyue— the chibi twins, the Kanda twins and Yuu.

Allen's jaw dropped at the awesome sight he beheld.

Yuukan and Andy were shooting around with water guns (pretty reminiscent of Jasdebi gone wild actually), and Kanda, dripping wet, was spraying his laughing siblings, who were carrying half-filled buckets, madly with a hose.

Allen had never seen Kanda look like this, having so much fun. He looked pretty mad at being drenched, of course, but there was a slight grin on his lips as he maniacally tsunami-ed Nakire and Kisaka, oddly allowing Rufan to skip out of the way and fling her bucketful of water at him. Andy suddenly caught sight of Allen staring at them with a dumb expression.

"Mama!" he called.

Instantly everyone froze like a tableaux, looking at Allen with open mouths as if they were high-school students caught guilty by the principal. Then they slowly looked at their water weapons. Then, two and two clicked together.

'_Uh-oh_.'

"YAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!"

Two water jets, one super blast and three splashed all made Allen their target. The silver-haired teen squealed as cold water hit his entire body, effectively soaking him head to toe. Wildly he located another water hose and caught it up. Next thing Allen knew, he was an active participant in the hydro war.

They all moved around, attacking and dodging like pro fighters except with insane beams on their faces, until a fountain met Allen's eyes. Nakire, Kisaka and Rufan were the first to dive in, defeated and laughing crazily. Then it was a battle between the chibi twins and their parents. Of course, due to the strength difference in their weapons, Yuukan and Andy were the next to join the Kanda siblings and they started splashing each other in the water.

Kanda and Allen stood victoriously with their hoses, breathing deeply, then they looked at each other. Kanda's eyes began to gleam all too familiarly, and a second later Allen found out his evil intention.

"Oh no you don't!" he yelled, shooting at Kanda with his hose as hard as he could. The force pushed the samurai right into the fountain, and he surfaced with his hair hanging down the sides of his face, spitting out water and getting glomped by Yuukan and Andy. Allen laughed in triumph, but Kanda, not one to give up so easily, lunged out and caught hold of Allen around the waist, pulling him into the fountain with an almighty cry of revenge.

It was quite a sight. Three grown-up hunks, a beautiful though tomboyish woman, a pretty young teenager and two adorable little boys, all wrestling together in the fountain, behaving like escaped mental patients. No wonder Rinyue gave a little shriek and nearly dropped the tray of lemonade she was holding when she came out to meet them.

"Oh my word! Kisa-kun, Naki-chan, Ru-chan, Yuu-chan!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me, I might at least've gotten out your swimmin' things for you! Oh, look at them poor chibis, their clothes! I'll hafta find Yuu-chan's old things to fit 'em. You too, Alleny darlin'!"

"Aw, Kaa-san, be a sport. It's hot as hell today," Kisaka groaned, climbing out of the fountain and helping his twin and stepsister out.

"That's what the lemonade's for, dear," Rinyue said, setting the tray onto a table under a huge umbrella. "Now c'mon, do go dry off. Yuu-chan, get some clothes for your boys, please."

"Fine," Kanda answered flatly. Allen was about to get up from the fountain too when Kanda took hold of his hand and pulled him into his lap.

"What, Yuu? Aren't you cold?" Allen asked, giggling as the water lapped around his neck, tickling him.

"No way. I want to get something done before we get out," Kanda smirked, and with that said he pulled the British boy towards him and kissed him hard.

Allen kissed him back, stupefied at the bold action since they were right out in the open (with Rinyue smiling fondly, Rufan and Nakire squealing fangirlishly and Kisaka shaking his head but grinning). When they parted, Allen was already breathing hard as their lips lingered teasingly against each other, and Kanda whispered, "I've always wanted to try kissing you in water."

The younger teen blushed brilliantly. "That sounds kinda wrong, Yuu, but in any case I'll let it pass," he smiled coyly.

"Believe me, that _doesn't _sound wrong. Unless of course you've never heard of shower sex?"

"_Yuu! _You dirty-minded— ah, what can I do, I don't mind it…"

**x X X x**

About forty-five minutes later, the weird bunch were all out in the garden again— this time they weren't going in the fountain, but they were mostly undressed. (Get your minds out of the gutter, now.) The boys were all shirtless and wearing shorts, and Nakire and Rufan were in tank tops and shorts. Rinyue and Allen were catching up from the 'old days' over glasses of lemonade, and Kanda was just half-listening, staring rather blankly into space thinking of random things such as, oh, exactly what would he do with a completely helpless, handcuffed Allen when there was nobody in the house except the two of them…

Yes, yes, quite obviously our dear Kanda's mind has progressed from yuri to yaoi. Though he was glad he was the only one who knew where his treasured collection was now.

"…but I'm not really working there anymore though, darlin', because I've got a family an' I'll stick here instead. The twins are so good for my Ru-chan— although they corrupted her— an' they're such lovely company for me too," Rinyue was saying wistfully.

"That's a good thing, Nina-san," smiled Allen, but Rinyue waved her hand vigorously.

"No, no, don't address me that way anymore," she said almost tearfully. "You can call me Rinyue— it _is _my real name after all. Or— or…"

She looked rather nervous all of a sudden, and kept glancing at Kanda, who was blissfully unaware as he was deeply engrossed within his own train of NC-17 thought, though able to keep his face as perfectly blank and serious as always.

Allen understood what she wanted to say.

"Don't worry, I get what you want to say," he smiled, reaching out and touching her hand. "Kaa-san."

Now real tears began pooling in Rinyue's eyes—she furiously swiped them away and smiled back at Allen gratefully. "You're a sweet boy, darlin'. Nothing like what Cross-sama said."

Allen felt his usual comical twinge of dislike from hearing his General's name, but he had more pressing matters at hand to deal with right then. "Nin—I mean, Kaa-san… what exactly did you do with Shishou anyway?"

Rinyue stole another glance at Kanda, whose expression was still flat. One had the impression he was actually sleeping with his eyes open, the way they glazed over like glass.

"To be perfectly honest, Alleny— nothin'," she finally confessed. "I don't really like Cross-sama."

Allen's expression was hilarious, to put it simple.

"T-t-t-then… then why…?"

Rinyue smiled and shook her head. "I just did it so that Yuu-chan would at least be upset about the fact that I was with him. You see, darlin', I've always loved little Yuu, he was a precious kid. An' actually, the history we were tellin' you, we lied a lil' bit. I was a friend of the family, I've always been, an' Yuu did like me before his mama passed away… but he began to change when I came into the family to take care of him and the twins."

A tear slipped down her cheek. "It broke my heart, it did. I mean, imagine this lovely little shounen smilin' and laughin' with you, bein' all animated when you ask him how his day was an' everythin', then turnin' into a sulky, cold-hearted child right in front of your eyes an' you know, to him, it's all your fault."

Allen completely understood, even though he'd never been in the same position as Rinyue did. If only Kanda knew all this. But no, there he was, looking like he'd fall off the chair with that same look on his face if you pushed him.

"Don't worry, Kaa-san," he said quietly. "I'll sort things out for you, okay? It's just one big misunderstanding. Everything will be fine, I'm sure."

"I hope so, Alleny," Rinyue said, drawing in a great breath and attempting to compose herself. "I'm already glad that your lil' boys don't mind me so much."

"Nonsense, they love you, they already consider you their grandma," Allen grinned, and as expected, Rinyue shrieked in horror.

"No! Not a _grandma!_"

"Haha, yeah, an obaa-san, they won't change what they call you, y'know?"

"Oh _nooo!_"

**x X X x**

"Rinali, what the heck…? We're just going to Japan for a mission, _not _a holiday," Lavi muttered, staring at the mountainous pile of books and DVDs Rinali was dragging along into her suitcases.

"What do you think these are, Lavi? They're doujin! And animes! And real mangas!" Rinali snapped. "They're for Kanda's sisters!"

"You know what? Anyone who would think _you_'re the one going to get married to Kanda or something," the Bookman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, this is just communication between fellow fujyoshi. I must uphold my honour," beamed the Chinese girl. "Yes! Okay, let's go!"

"Jeez, the lengths girls go to for BL," Lavi rolled his eyes as he followed her out of her room, Timcanpy perching happily on his head.

'_If it's that bastard Tyki Mikk again… I'm definitely getting back my bloody bandanna._'

* * *

**Syaoran: **Oh, and guys, guys, I'm at work on a new fanfic, which is ALSO D. Gray-Man, but it's AU, Yuukan and Andy are in it as well! :3 Rather clichédly it's a band fic, but I'll try to make it different from band fics you know, 'kay? Ja, till next time! x3


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